It speaks well of you that people are willing to open up and share their story. 

> I suspect that all of the digital noise that is now spilling onto the streets is a symptom of people not actually being listened to. 

Likely something to do with it, but if you are going to post selfies all day, there is unlikely to be much deep and/or meaningful going on.

I have mich more simpler reason not to visit hairdresser - my hirs mostly run away, lol. And it actually started while while ago. So i need now only once in couple of weeks to cut those small residues just with haircutting machine. But im ok with it and its really economical and time saving, lol

!bro

Like you said there are a lot of factors that could affect the idea of people wanting to open up to you. But I also know they would not consider it if they didn't feel like you are a good listener and have a good head on your shoulders. Of course there is also the fact that there is no judgement coming from your end. Advice maybe but never judgement. 
The whole thing is a mess honestly.
The social media that was meant to being us together and make us feel closer is the same thing that has contributed to the feeling of depression and underachievement.

For the record, I'm still wearing the covid cut.  Haven't been to a barber/stylist since January.  I've worn my hair long before in my life so I don't have any particular issues with letting it go.  Except around the ears which I trim myself.  I can't stand to have my ears tickled by stray hair.

But I have and do talk at an intimate and personal level with a very small circle of friends and family.  I need to do so to keep my personal toxin level at 'manageable'.

I'm a part of a program which demands self examination and admission.  I have shared my most intimate and deepest secrets with another human.  Part of the contract for doing that is the responsibility for hearing another person's secrets.  I have literally been the recipient a few times in the last 30 years. 

Which is to say that I empathize with bartenders and hairstylists and other empaths in our society.  It's an absolutely vital service, and I thank you for your part in it.

I was just talking to some random duck on the innerwebs (actually, it was your brother :)) about how attackers need to dehumanize their attackees.  It seems so easy for some, but I honestly feel that for every attacker there are at least a hundred observers that just can't be bothered to go there.  It's important for me to remember that and them.

Maybe I haven't been to the barber/stylist because there really haven't been any sports scores to discuss.  That's about as intimate as I can be while getting my hair cut....

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I am a hairdresser and yes it is a confesional. Actually I have learned so much from other peoples' stories that I got imense value just from the experience itself. I love hearing and listening the words of wisdom some people offer to me while I do their hair. It's priceless.

I was a bar tender for two years as my second job whilst living in the UK. The stuff I was forced to listen to was painful as it was the same faces every day.I have experienced similar online with needy people and at least you can mute them on here.I still don't understand people trying to be someone they aren't as it makes no sense. They are only kidding themselves as who really cares.
Your hair looks ok and it gets easier the older you get. Look at @meesterboom as when last did he see a barber? If he walked in I would do it for free out of pity lol.

Good of you to bring up talking about your emotions with a secondary language being easier, I can totally agree. I even dislike songs and fictional books in Finnish because the language is too close and it’s often hard to get into the story when it’s my own language. 

When ever someone disappears at their own will or commits suicide, the families always say ”can’t be right, he/she would never” but their not-so-close friends and online acquintances have all seen the signs that they were not alright.

Love this. There are so many angles from which we can view the phenomena of today, and your hypothesis is an intriguing one. I think, as you said at the very end of your article, that there is indeed value in conversations with strangers; but if you find that you are routinely craving that outlet, there is probably a gap in how well you are nurturing and investing in your relationships with those closest to you. 

You’ve actually talked about three ways of communicating: one-to-one with a stranger who has a listening ear, like a bartender or hairdresser; one-to-many, like on social media; and one-to-one with someone close. The hardest one is often the latter. I think it’s because the patterns are set around daily communications, like who’s taking the kid to piano lessons, and what’s for dinner. *Really* talking requires a somewhat aggressive approach and feels like an uncomfortable disruption. 

Really interesting stuff around second-language communication. It’s so interesting that people confide in you that way. You nust give off vibes like a priest in a confessional, or the neighborhood bartender.

For the record, I’ve been cutting my own hair for over 30 years. I could never find a hairdresser who could get it right.

>I was talking to a friend the other day about the disconnection and loneliness that people feel and they argued that we are more connected than ever. But, scroll through Instagram and see the lie. There is account after account of selfies, as if someone wants to see a stream of pictures of us. But what people don't seem to recognize is that they are generally selfies - no one else is there - it is a person alone, taking a picture of themselves to share, seemingly in a way to connect with others. A billion heads floating alone in the ether - saying nothing of consequence.

That's a caricature of the Internet. While it may be a large part (too large a part, I'd say) of how most people experience the Internet, it is far from the whole truth. In fact, this opinion piece of yours is itself on the Internet.

The Internet and various communities on it have been a godsend to a lot of people who'd otherwise have been marginalized by mainstream society. In my daughter's social life, for example, the Internet has been a net positive. While she had a couple of friends, loosely speaking, that she'd hang out with at school and after school in the first and second grade, there were none she could see eye to eye with. In her current school and class, there's at best one but that pupil is a boy and he tends to hang out with his own friends. Lately, the pandemic has slowed down her IRL social life quite a bit. Years ago, she befriended a few kids here age on a social media platform who live in other countries with whom she has much more in common than with any of her classmates. In her former school, her social environment was downright toxic and we are happy to have relocated to an entirely different part of the city. Add to that the fact that most of her classmates were substantially less intelligent and also more childish than her, and it was clear that the conditions were far from ideal. Being restricted to IRL interactions would've made the situation even less tolerable.

On the Internet, there are many forums and platforms specifically built for people seeking support. Some are moderated well. You mentioned the ease of talking about difficult issues in a foreign language. This is precisely what is at everyone's fingertips these days. As a cherry on top, there's Hive, a monetized platform that provides financial value in exchange for participation in addition to all of the intangible value.