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Okay, fuck it - *I am going to go back to the gym.*

I am tired of being a lardass and feeling like my arms, legs, shoulders, knees, feet and head belong to someone else  - someone who likes to only eat trash and sit around on the computer doing fuckall. I despise that person, I am *surrounded by that person* and it annoys me that I am now one of those people. Everyone chooses their path as to whether they will improve or not and I am failing to meet my own path, *knowingly.*

![OI001096.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/23zGVq2NVJXQ8TQWsHN8uN8qDQspKaAHGKqcKF5Quq6uXrFeSV8vZm42zsUivFjXfAyir.jpg)

Don't get me wrong - I am also nowhere near as lardy as the average lardass, but I am too lardy for my own feeling of wellbeing and that all that matters. I don't think comparing myself to the people around me really helps, other than reminding me that I am quickly regressing to the population average of being physically useless. 

Well, that is not entirely true - the average is useless but there is a growing minority of people who are insanely healthy and getting more so. The out-of-shape tech geek profile is no longer the case, as at least for the people who are at the top, they are not. The CEO and almost entire management team of the IT company I work for are fitness fanatics, running marathons, padel, gym, martial arts... I now look like one of the plebs that has retired my body to life on the couch. 

I am now a member of the P.U.R.E movement - *Physically Unfit, Retired Early.*

But I am going to have to come out of retirement, because I don't want to be one of those fathers that can't play with their kid when they are ten years of age - that is only five years away and I will be nearing fifty. I m quite sure, fifty sucks more than forty.

You Only Live Once!

Drink, smoke, be merry! Eat all the shit you want. play games in front of the screen. Netflix and chill!

*Just don't remind yourself that you will probably live twenty years past your retirement and have to spend the majority of your life struggling to walk stairs, out of breath, in pain, unhealthy, feeling like shit.*

Rather than a fine wine, I feel more like a carton of milk left out in the sun. And seriously, I am not even in that bad shape, considering. I have no idea how people feel in their own skin, but I feel terrible. I can't imagine (partly because of the stroke 😂) how I would feel if I was ten, twenty or thirty kilos heavier. I am around 86 now, which is the heaviest I have ever been, but I know quite a few who are around my height but have 20+ on me. I know a few who have -15 too - *and they seem to have better lives.*

This is not about looks, since I really don't are that much, it is about quality of life. If I am not willing to improve my own physical quality of life, I am probably not going to be the kind of person to improve much else. Or at least, I will be less effective at improving, since I will have to spend more time and energy on dealing with health issues or like the current situation - far less motivated to do anything.

I think that this is partly why the modern manager is generally fit, as it gives the energy needed to get through the mount of work they do. I remember hearing that the highest paid in companies work something like 20% more hours than the average worker. Sure, they get paid more too - but that is only part of the equation - *being able to do the work* is half the battle and, most can't. 

Yeah, I still work quite a few hours, but the more out of shape I become, the harder it is to maintain pace and quality. So, if I did have the opportunity to retire early and do what I wanted - my physical condition would limit my choice anyway - *not ideal.* Work for more options, be limited by lardassiness. 

There is of course some level of "diminishing returns" in regard to fitness, with some people taking it to an extreme for no real gain, but the early return on improvement is *enormous* and no matter how bad our current condition, we could all feel quite a lot better that we do now. Well, I *speak for myself.*

*I could feel quite a lot better* if I got off my lardass and got myself to the gym, which for me, is the hardest part about working out - *getting there.* It is literally only a kilometer away and I drive past it a couple times a day. No excuse really.

People seem to get upset when the ideas of fitness come up. In fact, I was talking to a colleague the other day who has started losing her pregnancy weight and how because of this, one of her friends chastised her as not being "body positive"  - Body positive seems to be defined as people who are happy being out of shape and feeling like crap - which is not really a very positive message for anyone with a body. If you are happy feeling physically crap, best of luck to you - but don't make it seem like that is how it should be for everyone. 

If I feel like a lardass and want to feel better - that is my choice.
If you are happy being a lardass - that is yours. 

I am not happy in my own skin - it feels like someone else's. So, it is time to V-off and tear off the lizard to become the human beneath. *Does anyone get that reference?* 

Anyways - soon my daughter's birthday party for her friends will start, 
*and there are cakes to be eaten.*

It's a special occasion. Like every day.


Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]


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