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It was almost precisely 18 years ago that I arrived in Finland for what was planned to be a year-long working holiday. I was 24 at the time and little did I know that the year would be extended by one, and then another sixteen on top as life happened and lives were built. 

It was a bit of a sad day today. 

![IMG_20210822_164527.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/23xekAwkE9APBHcotFDEasdsS6cN9nUT6ZK3x3ivaMz1o4vVN2CjyGK1n9jwwFdYxSK59.jpg)

My niece, the reason I ended up in Finland in the first place, dropped around to say goodbye to us, as like me 18 years ago, she is moving country too. I am really happy for her to be getting out as life hasn't been easy the last year and a half for her, but I can't help but note the parallels to my own experience, down to the time of year and her age. When I arrived in Finland, she was the same age as my daughter is now. 

![IMG_20210822_165012.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/23vhwaQ3VFQ7ex6nkxkXbUjH4m9Fk4YKjGQaPCTBeKBMbMs3nZr5gbL7YpcBWwHeFN2m2.jpg)

It is interesting to note the similarities though and as I was walking her out, she was putting on her very large shoes that I noted and she said, "I have to wear them, they are heavy and I only have 23 kilos of baggage allowance. I laughed and mentioned how I travelled in discomfort and very warm, wearing many layers to save space and weight in the 20 kilos I had available. She is going to do the same. 

![IMG_20210822_164442.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/23wgN8qQBmZg4jd9ExJNXQf7w7XUexbc6nxeq7zjJ5BauEHucLcSo22QRDqGeoADNHk3b.jpg)

Another interesting thing to note, is that she will be the fourth generation of my family on my dad's side to become an immigrant, as her great grandfather moved from India to Malaysia, my father Malaysia to Australia and a couple sons of his to Finland - now her. I suspect that my own daughter isn't destined to stay in the country of her birth either - after all, she already has dual-citizenship. 

![IMG_20210822_164309.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/23tbwQYcyUJKTrZbxRTaSWScMQjC2n5vLoN68i9gsyAKqssJnBM96rbGjHhicf5U7s5jD.jpg)

It isn't easy leaving family and friends to start a new life abroad, and it isn't easy arriving in a new country, as immigrants aren't always welcome. I think she will have an easier time of it than I did though, and I had an easier time of it than my father, who entered Australia in the mid-sixties during "White-only" policy. 

But still, it can be a challenge for anyone and it is probably never comfortable. No friends, no network, no clear career prospects and not even a place to stay - it can get frustrating, oppressive and lonely. With time and perseverance however, it is possible to start to learn, grow and build a life from near scratch and because of the struggle to get there, perhaps more gratitude is felt along the journey, as well as value in personal accomplishment. 

![IMG_20210822_165156.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/23x17QTGEqTfSHmjYkkADAtgCp2xf5UAHkY4prSGkxdQw6ychKcTUdaXbMnnBVqx9wxiG.jpg)

In my first rental in Finland, I remember sitting on the edge of my loaned bed, looking at a nasty looking and dirty wallpaper, wondering how I got here. I was struggling financially after having to take my first ever credit card to make ends meet, my job was very poorly paid but required a lot of work and I was alone most of the time. 

But, that was the start of my new life. 

I have "changed" a lot in Finland, without changing who I am at all. Instead, being away from all I knew earlier, gave me the space to become more of myself, use more of my potential, not rely on the comforts of home, as I didn't even speak the language. It was a discovery of who I am without the labels of who I was to get in my way. 

![IMG_20210822_164705.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/23uFeNbBFCNgBUzmWM8tgjLE8eVAovMPFBM7e47grVVHT85vbaNH6YUvs4ysFhC2jNSeu.jpg)

Travelling light, my foundation is now pretty heavy. Looking at the near complete state of our house brings back memories of how far I have come since staring at the dirty wall from the edge of that loaned bed. Those were good times too, full of uncertainty and surprise, as well as the excitement of random events and people falling in and out of my experience. 

Yet, while the house is not yet finished, I have built a home and it will never be complete, it will keep evolving with me as I change and my family changes over time. I don't know what the future holds for us, no one does.

![IMG_20210822_164744.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/23u69VfQwzTLb4rH25SgSXPf6LKwgvyzSFj82QCTwjMVHrR1qnpV4a7tUvhso6rCsNEiL.jpg)

My niece is a reminder that at some point, my daughter will become an adult and will move away to take her own adventures through this world, leaving me behind. And I am already feeling proud of her, as well as sad at the thought of not being able to see her daily, to be able to give her a bear hug and a bunny kiss before bed. 

But, this is how life improves, by us pushing ourselves to discover our potential by putting ourselves in uncomfortable experiences, and then working out how to improve them. Mistakes will always be made, with them comes opportunity to improve.   

It is human nature to search for better, even if we don't always find it.

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]



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