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If you read from a few weeks ago, I was involved in a small car accident, where a woman reversed into me while I was driving past in an underground carpark. Th estimate for repair is 10 days and around 5000 euros in damage, which is considerable, considering it was a low speed shunt. Her insurance will cover the cost of the repairs, but it is a lot of hassle to go through considering I did nothing wrong.

![IMG_20210122_210616 1.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/Pj9SJlK5-IMG_20210122_210616201.jpg)

After sorting out the details with the insurance company to get it evaluated and booked in, I then had to contact them to get a rental car approved - where I was asked "can you take a bus?" - No, no I cannot. It isn't that I have anything against busses, but there is just no way I can get to where I need to be, when I need to be there by bus, as well as get my daughter to her daycare. I explained and that was fine - but they don't cover a car "similar" to what has been damaged, which means I have this:


![image.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/2cJFRQeg-image.png)

There is nothing wrong with a Toyota Aygo or similar, in fact, I have owned one in the past for a few months where we needed a second car as my wife needed to drive for a job she had. It is just that it is going to be a bit of a challenge using this one, especially since it is looking to be heading back toward minus 20 degrees again and I don't have a place I can warm the engine of the car. Just so you know, most cars in Finland have plug-in engine warmers for the cold weather, otherwise many won't start. My own car however has a "Webasto" in it, which is a heater that runs off the fuel in the car and can be set to turn on at a certain time or using the key remote. The new ones have an app for it. 

So, while this doesn't sound like too much of a big deal, I have trainings coming up to deliver, meaning that I am going to have to have to be at certain places at certain times, so it is going to *suck* if I can't get the car started in the morning. While bare-bones, I am assuming that there is an engine warmer in it, which means I m going to have to run some kind of long-ass extension cord out to the driveway and remember to warm it each morning. Not a big hassle, but still annoying. 

They have given me the option to pay for an upgrade to a larger car, but I am unwilling to pay another couple hundred dollars for it. It is funny though, as if the accident had been my fault, I think I would be more fine with getting a car of any sort, but because it wasn't me mistake, it annoys me - just a little bit. 

I often try to pay attention to all the little things that annoy me (and there are many) because then I have a chance to reduce their emotional affect on me by thinking them down. I did this when the accident first happened too, although I only had five seconds to breathe before getting out of the car. 

Through practicing this, I have found I tend to get better results from the service, whether it be something that is my error and needs correcting, or another's. For example, when there is a bill of some kind that I do not think is incorrect, I get annoyed, but when I call to clear it up, I know that the person answering the phone has nothing to directly do with the error, it isn't *their fault* either. They just have to help me sort it out and rather than be in opposition, it is much cleaner and faster to be on the same side of the table to work through to a solution. 

One thing I have noticed though, is that I am far better at this when it is dealing with strangers, than my wife. My wife and I argue a lot about silly things and we are both stubborn, which means that often, we end up on different sides of the table over matters that are pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of our relationship. Again, this is curious, because it should really be the other way, but I think that social norms and familiarity play a huge part, where socially, acting like a prick is not condoned, but with those we are comfortable with it is almost normal. I can be a very difficult person - but my wife is no pushover. But, all in all, we tend to have a pretty smooth relationship and I think that as I get older, I am also getting wiser and not letting the little things get to me as much. 

For a while now I take the approach to life where I categorize the things I can control, the things I can influence and the things out of my control. While this is handy, early on I realized it isn't sensitive enough to my needs, so I have to overlay more reference points, especially with the things within my control and I can influence, as they are the areas I can expend energy. What I have often found is that even if something is within my sphere of control or influence, it doesn't mean that it is worth spending my time, energy or resources on. 

For example with the car, a colleague of mine used to work in a car rental agency and he said there are some things I can do to get upgrades and the like, as long as I am willing to argue it and fight a bit. While I can argue and fight, I am not willing to spend any effort or emotional energy doing so in this area, as there is not enough return on my personal investment, meaning that my potential is better spent elsewhere. 

I find that the same thing happens when helping people too, where some people are more "deserving" of my time, while others are not deserving at all. Because of the type and volume of work I have added on Hive for example, over the years I have attracted all kinds of supporters and anti-supporters and while again, I don't mind arguing, there gets to a point where I am unwilling to keep investing my time and energy, since the law of diminishing returns has run its course and it is all cost to me. 

I guess my loose point is, that while things can be annoying and frustrating, even if we can control or influence outcomes, sometimes it is better to just leave it alone, let it slide, let someone think what they want, even though I believe them to be wrong. Some annoying things and some people are just not worth the effort - but with the people and things that are, it is better to take a breath and go in pleasant. 

One thing I am looking forward to with this little car is the handbrake. My car has an electronic handbrake and stabilization which limits opportunity. With a lot of snow around and the roads frozen, I get to have a bit of rally fun again. 


Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]




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