<div class="text-justify">

A few degrees freezing and and a piece of ice will do nothing. Move up a degree  and another, and still nothing. But, once the temperature moves over just a fraction over freezing, it starts to change state, it starts to melt. And, the higher the temperature goes, the faster the process becomes. Normally, this metaphor could be used to describe the impact of small changes in our behaviors that can compound and lead to large shifts in outcomes. But, it could also be used to describe what happens to us under pressure, where small changes compound to reduce us, to contract and solidify us, until we cannot move, we are frozen.

![OI000890 (1).jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/23wWAH1Reyexz9q62VXYrD8nEzC9JDRTYuJ7EpBjoduBHKE4rQCTzRRq4PUERN5QjkjdX.jpg)

> Have you ever been in this kind of situation?

I guess it comes in several forms, but maybe the main ones are because there is too much going on at one time, too many unknowns, or decisions that need to made but there is no clear choice. Generally, what we do when there is a lot of uncertainty is:

> Nothing.

That tends to be our default decision when we aren't sure what decision to make, have little clarity, or don't know where to start. At least most of us, we aren't really built for dealing with a lot of system two brain work all at once, so we divert all we can to system one when we can. When we get overwhelmed, our system two shuts down nearly completely, or makes rash decisions in a panic, which feel like there is consideration, but there really isn't that much going on - it is more like rolling a dice. 

> I often feel overwhelmed.

That might not surprise you, but it hasn't always been the case. The reason it is now is because my system two essentially always engaged, with very little system one driving by behavior. Research estimates that forty to fifty percent of our actions are automatic habits, but this doesn't really tell the whole story. Because one triggered habit is going to lead to the next range of decisions. It is like having the habit to walk through the candy isle at the store. While there is a *buy or don't buy* decision to be made, there are also a range of other decisions, like what to *buy or deny* also. Not many people walk through the vegetable section and get a "must have" craving for lettuce.

But, while making system two decisions would be ideal a lot of the time, we only have so much energy stored in there to use and because mine is working overtime, it starts to fail earlier. I notice it a lot in longer meetings over an hour or so, and at the end of the days when I sit down to write. I used to know my brain quite well, and I guess I still do, but it has changed its processes a lot, making it more unfamiliar to me, less predictable moment to moment. 

But, one thing I can predict quite well is, when my brain is tired, I make worse decisions than when it is not. The more decisions to make, the more frozen I become and while it would be fantastic to be able to just "walk away" for a while to get some mental space, it isn't always possible. Actually, perhaps it is *rarely* possible because of the way situations are set up. I can't just walk away from a meeting halfway through. Even my wife doesn't like me walking away from conversations midway, which ultimately leads to worse outcomes. My brain already has trouble pulling the right words into my mouth (even when I know what I want to say), so when it is tired, it just gets worse, and worse, because once one bad result happens, it creates stress on the next moment and that increases the chance of another. 

> A life of bad decisions.

*The story of my life.*

At the moment though, I have to force myself to think, even though it can be painful a lot of the time - like a dull ache in the base of my neck. However, I wonder if I was given the option and knowing the propensity for humans to take the path of least resistance, if I didn't *have to think,* would I? Perhaps, I would sit on the couch, doing something mindless and nothing useful. This scares me a little, because that is not the kind of life I envisaged for myself when I used to have hopes and dreams for the future. Yet, conditions change, our state changes, and it isn't always for the better.

The decisions to be made don't end. 

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]


</div>