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I think we can all agree, life isn't the easiest at times and while we live in a world that allows us to avoid facing the challenges of the moment, deferring them to a later point in time. But like most issues, putting them off doesn't make them go away, nor does it make them easier to manage. Sure, take a moment to catch breath by getting some distance can help build the energy required, but too long and the reverse tends to happen, where comfort built from avoidance takes away the motivation to actually deal. This leads to a cycle of avoidance and like an addict, more and more is needed to keep the hunger at bay, the cravings repressed. 


![IMG_20210901_152855 (2).jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/23zRvhHGbdrMgYEoBNk8r9dCJGkXYQQcmNDWYykyocfGWc9nZjkBLYTjDXdtovTcmdfHi.jpg)


I am fortunate to have found writing as a way to process my experiences, as it has helped me numerous times deal with some very difficult times in my life. It is interesting because it is kind of an "avoidance" measure too, like not looking directly at the sun, but observing circumstances from an adjacent perspective. For me at least, it is kind of like stepping outside of my own body and into a third person position, giving me at least the sense of a more objective view, as I disconnect from some of the emotional weighting that directs thought and decisions. 

Over the years I have helped people do this in another way, as I train in English and most of my clients are non-native speakers of the language. This means that the words they use do not carry the emotional valence that those of a mother tongue does, so when they speak, they can speak without emotion getting in their way. As a result, many people open themselves up to me in ways they can't to others, and are able to talk about the difficulties of their own experiences from that adjacent and more objective position. 

In the end, it is very much like giving advice to themselves, as they are "not themselves" in that moment, they are a friend to themselves, a proxy who is still invested in an improved outcome, but not attached as intimately to the outcome itself. as far as I have observed and the feedback I have got from people over the years, this one aspect of the training (this is not core and not even what I am employed to do) is worth the expenditure and throughout the time, the people I work with tend to get results beyond what they would have got otherwise. 

The reason is that not only are they able to get clarity on circumstances and develop strategies to deal with them, over time, they are also able to clear these hurdles and reduce their cognitive and emotional strain, allowing them more space to deal with other aspects of their life, including improvement, not just facing the negative. It tends to lead to incremental results in multiple areas that compound across the board.

But, since I don't have the luxury of speaking another language, writing essentially has the same powers, which is part of the reason I am "addicted" to the writing process and also, why I think everyone should freewrite. For those who do not meditate, it is a viable alternative and perhaps even better in many ways, as it is a creative and develops something concrete from the process. This then becomes collateral to be used for improving the development process further.

Some people don't write because they feel they aren't good at it or believe thinking about a thing is enough in order to process it, but generally it isn't. There is no right or wrong in how one writes, but committing something to the page makes it far more real than the transient thoughts and feelings we have, and once it is on the page, it creates that distance to the words, making the reading back more like the friend listening, than the author writing. Whether a person is good at writing or not, doesn't matter at all and it is actually a lot like learning a second language and the more practice, the more natural it becomes.

While there is a lot of talk in the media about mental health issues, what I notice is that a lot of people are willing to find something to blame, but they expect the solution to be handed to them. In my opinion, the only one really invested in us as individuals, is us the individual and while people might want to help, we generally have the most influence over our mental and emotional condition. Taking ownership of our personal wellbeing might not close all the gaps and we might need outside assistance, but it puts us in a far better condition to be helped, with more insight into where we actually need the help. 

It is interesting though, as we have seemingly created a world where we expect others to care about what we think and feel, yet we don't spend much time at all understanding what we think and feel as individuals ourselves. Seems untenable and destined to create conflict, externally and internally - which is what we were trying to avoid in the first place.

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]



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