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A friend of mine informed me today that he is taking a month of leave, as like many, he has been struggling with his mental health and is just so tired. I get it, life is hard, but is it any harder than it was, or have we fashioned life to be overly complicated, with not enough that feeds our core needs?

![image.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/23xeZ7P837wNaHR3yNfsbcJ3rPPhwtHS25vNWKqkH1YFzE4ejNargGc9pwB37b9LQwSTH.png)

>I suggest so.

For instance, a colleague questioning if whether due to opportunity cost, it is impossible to come close to "having it all", using the example of women balancing family and a career. He argued (discussed) using an example at our work of someone who is advancing in her career, whilst also having children. Yes, but I am not sure this is "having it all", even if it ticks some of the boxes.

We are far more complex than we have been led to believe, yet we are treating aspects of us is independent events that don't affect each other. But like our neighbors we visited on the weekend said, "We should do this more often, if we had the time". Time is one of those opportunities, and spending it in one area, means it can't be spent in another.

So, building a career takes time, looking after children takes time, spending time with friends takes time, building valuable relationships with spouses takes time, and looking after oneself takes time. Plus, all the other things like shopping, travel, entertainment and hobbies take time. 

> There is just not enough time. 

Yet, we have been sold the concept of "work-life balance" as if it is possible to have both at a high standard, *and* the other isn't going to suffer. And, we think that we are entitled to this "have it all" lifestyle, without having to *pay all the costs* to have it. 

> We are living beyond our means.

Normally, we use this when it comes to spending more than we earn, but looking at the perspective of life opportunity, it is spending more of our life resources than we have. We are constantly going into debt in some areas, because we are spending in others, but a lot of this goes unnoticed until there are issues. For instance, I know a lot of successful people in their careers, who also have good relationships with their children, but their relationships with their spouse is suffering. Or, they are unable to spend time on themselves. 

> There is always a tradeoff.

And it is very hard to get the balance right, because we have bought into all these conditions that we need to meet in order to be alright in our lives. But, we haven't sat down and checked the books to see if they balance. Instead, we just seem to assume that it "must be possible" to have it all, because we see other people having what we want, and if they can do it, we can. Yet of course, we are only looking at slices of other people's lives too, and have even less insight into the dynamic environment they live. 

Just like our financial lives, when we are running on "life debt", we are going to get to a point where we are unable to meet the obligations, and like me friend, become exhausted to the point we burn out. At that point, our credit runs dry and we aren't able to maintain even the basic areas of our lives, so all the things we value, fall by the wayside. We are unable to work well, we are unable to look after children properly, and we let our love and friendship relationships atrophy. 

> And the problems mount. 

Yet, we still believe that if we just take a break from something, we will be able to "save up" enough credit in order to go back and work at *having it all* once again. But, it is like needing more money so not eating for a week, it isn't sustainable, nor does it factor in all the other problems it might cause. For instance, what is the expected outcomes of children who do not get enough support and affection? Or what happens to relationships that are devoid of intimacy?

> I think we are seeing the symptoms in society now.

And, people like my friend are a symptom of imbalance in society as a whole, as is the various addictions, antisocial behavior, mental health issues, depression, illness, violence and all kinds of other negative aspects that are becoming more common to the point they are normalized in our communities. As they say,

> *Something's gotta give.*

And, it ends up being us.

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]


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