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As some people who follow us both might have realized that my brother, @galenkp and I, are born on the same day - yet we aren't twins - *I am much prettier* and nine years younger. My beauty aside, because we were both born on this day, we would have joint birthdays, which meant, one cake. While this was great for a time, I have a bit of a sweet tooth and before what I think was my 6th birthday, I "demanded" that my mother provide me with my own cake. 

On the day of the celebration and much to my surprise as my mother rarely yielded, I indeed had my very own cake. It was glorious and it had candles and everything. I didn't even care that it was significantly smaller than the one my brother had. *It was mine.* And that meant something, as it was one of the first things I remember having that was specifically for me - as I have three older brothers, so lots of hand-me-downs came my way. 

Quite a few years later, I was talking to my mother about this event, how I was finally able to get my own cake and how much it meant to me at the time to have something that I felt was mine on my birthday. She smiled and told me the truth. She had cut the center out of my brother's cake, slathered whipped cream around the sides and stuck it in a kids plastic bowl.

I guess, this is a lesson in belief and truth. If my mother had never told me what she did, I would have believed I knew the truth of it all my life - after all - *I was there.*

https://i.imgur.com/frHBr8J.jpg

As I see it, I believe that while there is a singular truth, we as humans can't actually see it because there are far too many factors in play that are unknown to us. So what we do, is find some narrative that fits what we are aware of, and then base our actions off of that. We apply meaning to what we experience, and react to what we believe the situation is, even if the meaning was something quite different.

An example of this would be mishearing what has been spoken and taking it as an insult, when in reality what was said was something quite different. The problem is, that the reaction comes before it can be caught, and few people are well-trained enough to catch themselves and seek clarity before the reaction presents itself openly. I find it interesting that even in writing, some people often can't control themselves, though they have plenty of time and space to do so due to the medium. I guess, these days, as soon as the emotional response arrives, people start smashing away at their keyboards in a trance like stupor. 

Thinking back to the cake episode, if the same thing was to happen to me today, there would be no way it would pass my awareness. As a six year old however, I only wanted to see what I wanted to see, and the emotional reaction of not only getting my very first cake, but also likely some ground against my mother, blinded my vision. I am smarter now....

Well... that isn't the case either is it?

While that *particular* situation would be unlikely to fool me, there is probably a litany of other events that would pass me by without troubling the mental scorers, but would leave an impression and affect my behavior. Some of these things might be harmless, some might have profound effects on my life paths - but since they are out of my awareness, they are out of my control. 

Sometimes I observe the behavior of people and see the same kind of responses I had as a child with that cake, whether in joy or in anger. People see or hear something and based on their feelings, will react to it without necessarily considering it well or making sure they have clarity first. Knee-jerk reactions, so to speak, where the nervous system makes an involuntary reaction, but the feeling justifies the response. It is an emotional reaction feedback loop that makes us feel right and entitled to the feeling and our reaction, even if it is completely out of sync with reality.

Then of course, the ego comes into play on top of this to say, not only am I justified based on how I feel about circumstances, I have to be heard in this area, even if I do not know much at all about much at all. My voice counts, because I think that my understanding of the situation is accurate, because I feel it is. I will let you in on one of my beliefs... Feelings aren't very good indicators of reality - if you don't believe me, just watch a good horror movie and take note.

But, we all have them, yet there are different degrees at which people are able and willing to control theirs. Some take the responsibility, some believe that because they feel it, they are entitled to show it, no matter the damage it does. In my opinion, those that are overly emotional have very little regard for the feelings of others, as they vomit their own at any and every opportunity. 

>"Show your feelings"

No. *Know your feelings.* 

There is a difference between emotional control and avoidance and it is possible to feel something without it becoming all consuming of action and behavior. This isn't always easy of course, and requires practice for proficiency but, *ain't nobody got time for that.*

Of course, like a lot of my writing, my experience here is self-referential and I have the experience I have and the observations I hold, which I have created meaning and belief from, to become my understanding and source of action. Hopefully on average, I act well enough if I was to observe myself from externally, though I am sure I slip often too. 

I think there is a lot of people who feel affected by the world, victimized in some way, but don't see how they affect their world and the people they interact with. But as said, those who are emotionally volatile do not have the time between the arrival of feeling and their reaction to consider other parties in the environment. It is funny how so many emotional people think that they are social adept, when they are anything but, based on their disregard for others - they don't care, *as long as their emotion-filled voice is heard.*

For me at least, self-awareness is an ongoing conversation, as it tends to slip in and out, it isn't always present. Again though, it is funny how many people seem to believe that they are highly skilled in this area, yet do not see the game their mind and emotions have played on them to make them feel that way. 

Just like my cake, people see what they want to see. And when it comes to a view of ourselves, we aren't very objective in our evaluation, no matter how correct we feel. 

Taraz
[ a Steem original ]

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