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You know that feeling when you throw on a pair of jeans, put your hand in your pocket and find a twenty, or a fifty? It is a good feeling, isn't it? I just had something similar, except I wasn't with my hand in my pocket, but rather looking through my Metamask wallets. And I didn't find a twenty, or even a fifty - I found some Ethereum. And, it was a bit more than what I would carry in cash. It isn't going to change my world, but it might come in handy if I need to extend the time of survival. 

Since finding out I would lose my employed work and there was nothing I could do about it, I had to step back and see what I could control. The loss of the job was outside of my control, but the ability to negotiate the severance was something I could influence. And, the only thing in my control was my behavior. So rather than get emotional and do nothing, I chose to negotiate instead.


![image.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/23xpXkKDBTwPsSGwc2iV7cczG1iVknS1eAb51Zh7ZEh8bKybwWHCXx4DQG5EByhE8Ybn1.png)


I knew there wasn't much to work with, but I decided to use a technique I recently learned about with a question, "how am I supposed to do that?" from a book called, *Never Split the Difference,* by Chriss Voss. The general idea of the question is to put my problem-solving hat on the head of the other party, in this case, a member of the HR department and someone I like a lot and respect deeply. However, I am also trying to survive in my life, and it isn't their money, it is the company's. 

So, the first offer came in through my supervisor, as I was told I would lose my job and a severance would be offered. After the call and due to its mostly unexpected nature, I was shaken, with that *pit of failure* in my stomach. However, after a couple hours, I decided to make a move and set something up with HR for the following day. When I spoke with them, I reiterated their requirements and desire to wrap this up quickly and not go into formal negotiations. I explained my situation and the disappointment, and what I expect is going to be the challenges of the near future. I then repeated the offer and asked, 

>*How am I supposed to do that?*

After a little conversation as they offered other incentives, they went away to see what they could do. A few hours later, I got another offer sent to me, with some more attached to the severance, and I had the weekend to think it over, with a meeting on Monday morning to give my decision. However, I said that due to the people I will need to talk to (lawyer, unemployment fund, social services), I would need more time to get more information and consider options. So the meeting was pushed to Tuesday morning.

On Monday, I set another meeting with the HR person and thanked them for considering my situation and rallying more for me. I also mentioned that I was hoping that it would be a bit higher, because then I would have just signed it, but unfortunately, now that I have more clarity on what lays in front and the timing, I really have to consider if I can sign because, 

>*How am I supposed to do that?* 

The next morning, I had a remote meeting with HR and my supervisor, and the contract hadn't changed. However, as we were talking, I again repeated their best interest, and that while I am disappointed in the situation, I have come to terms with it and would like to just move on quickly as well. But,

> *How am I supposed to do that?* 

And, after a little more discussion, they extended it a little further, plus I was able to get the incentives that were discussed earlier. I signed minutes later. All in all, it means I extended the severance amount by almost 50% plus the extras. Now, while that sounds "great" it *still sucks.* However, what it does do is buy me time and postpones some other challenges a little longer, so that I have a *bit more time* to build my business again. There are no guarantees that I will be able to, but I have to try. If I am able to pull it off, then I think that the people I have negotiated with, will be satisfied they did the right thing.

> Money is just a tool.

I made clear that the negotiation was not about money, it was about buying time. The other incentives they offered didn't do that, which meant that they are relatively worthless to me, *unless* I also have the time to go along with them. I like money, I need money, but it is not something that I want to spend time thinking too much about, even though it is a necessity to spend *some time* thinking about it. 

>Having enough means not having to think much about it. Not having enough means to constantly have to think about it. In the near future, I won't have enough.

While I am disappointed, and I know it is going to be a massive struggle in the coming months, I am happy with myself that rather than just folding and acting as if what is happening is all out of my control, I acted instead. I stepped back, and looked at what I could influence, and then what it would take to influence. I am not a great negotiator by nature, so I am also happy that I was able to put to good use the audiobook I listened to less than a month ago. I couldn't remember all the points, but I was able to apply enough to get something more than I would have otherwise. 

> This is a good use of consumption. 

The little bit extra is a win, but the real win is that I was able to change a negative habitual behavior, and insert a positive attempt for a better outcome. That might not sound like much to you, but it is a *great deal* for me. And right now, I need a few wins. 

I wonder if I have any other "lost" wallets?

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]


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