Intended to Fail by tarazkp

View this thread on: hive.blog | peakd.com | ecency.com

hive-126152 · @tarazkp · Jun 10 '23

$24.47

Intended to Fail

<div class="text-justify">

It was a decent day yesterday, where there were about twenty different sporting activities to pre-signup to, like eFatbikes, weightlifting, badminton, various yoga and body maintenance, pickleball, climbing, trampolining, adventure park (hanging and climbing stuff), orienteering and a few others I can't remember. I ended up doing yoga and pickleball. 

>Yoga reminded me how out of  shape I am and how much flexibility I have lost.
Pickleball doubled-down on my out-of-shapeness.

What was nice about pickleball however, is that despite not playing any similar sport at all for nigh on twenty five years, my ability to be "okay" at it was still there. My body doesn't seem to care what the sport is, if there is a ball and a bat of some sort to hit it with, I will manage. 

>At least the stroke didn't take that away.

I have been pretty careful with my activity since the stroke. Too careful. I really need to get out and move more and build back some of my confidence in my body. I can't rely on my body, but ignoring it so it atrophies isn't going to help me either, it is just going to compound problems in many other areas.

![1000035378.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/23wMYMLAaBAfeRPxrCoZLTsk48NHJooLVLChKTiqPooEyKM98CNrWjxNuEE7BHKKdNbZJ.jpg)

>It is terrible not to be able to rely on myself. 

Both my body and mind are fickle at best, so there is a lot of random results. As I have mentioned before, When I speak or type, the words that come out aren't always the one that I mean. It isn't a Freudian slip, it is more like I am meant to say something one way, but before my brain has fully processed the structure or chosen, it is already being delivered outwardly. This gets me into trouble regularly, but I try not to make a thing of it and explain what is going on, assuming that people will themselves assume *best intention.* 

>Assuming best intention is getting rarer however. 


![1000035377.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/23tv8HGdPqy6XiRrXa8oT3rojRB55rV4yAG2WAfx1kpkj2VoFdWH2WwkvPUQbTjDGtHPD.jpg)

For example, a colleague last night told me they have been angry with me for months over something I said, which was obviously intended to be funny. I apologized for saying it and they way it made them feel, as it is never my intention to hurt anyone. They said I should be careful with what I say and I mentioned, I can't always control the way things come out. 

>"That's bullshit - you are a native speaker."

I decided to explain about the stroke and how it has affected me, yet they didn't accept this at all and doubled down on how I have to control what I say. I found it interesting, because while this person felt that I had offended them, they had no problem in taking absolutely no regard for who I am and my own challenges I face. Essentially, they became the epitome of hypocrisy in real time, without even recognizing it in themselves.

>It is like blaming someone with Parkinson's for moving too much.  


![1000035376.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/23vsLNcF8QR4QjBfpCtfHJ3EqHJ5gNGnwKNpWibDgRqBCbmsoygq6BiwzJKBC6Qn1T43M.jpg)

While we have to take responsibility for our actions, intention also matters. Intention completely changes two otherwise similar outcomes. For example, if a car swerves onto the wrong side of a highway into an oncoming truck, it matters whether the driver had a stroke and lost control, or if they were looking to commit suicide.

Because the intention of our actions can't always be known, *assuming best intentions* is a far better position to take, unless there is due cause to think differently. Yet, these days, many people don't do this and, they are constantly on the prowl for ways to assume worst intentions, especially when it is something where they can make themselves a victim. People only have their own experience to draw from, yet also make assumptions about the experiences and personality of others, based on their own personal biases. Many seem to think that they are the only ones to face discrimination, or poorly-worded jokes. 

>If I had a dollar for every time I have faced something explicitly negative at work, I wouldn't have to work.


![1000035379.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/23u65JfBTJm19kYFYpWpcobzs3CEgQ6q5kETT5qJvsJGzgYFQ383NfCioy2ccWLanekJ8.jpg)

But, being an adult also means taking responsibility for how we feel about our experiences and this includes when we hear things we don't want to hear. If we create a world where people have to constantly "watch what they say" just in case they hurt someone's feelings, no one can say anything, because everyone has the potential to be hurt by something, including something the majority see as innocuous. To say "but it is normal to say because of culture" means being discriminatory and diminishing someone's feelings, someone in a minority by thought. 

>This is obviously untenable. 

But if we assume best intentions and take responsibility for our own emotional state, even when we feel hurt, we are able to take a position that it wasn't intended. This doesn't mean we can't mention it, but we don't have to be damaged by it. We can have a conversation (like we did last night) and work something out. This doesn't stop damage being done in the future, but it means there is a chance to build a stronger relationship so that in the future, mistakes get teased, like friends do to each other out of care for each other. 

The emotional sensitivity of the world today that looks to create drama and emotional volatility, encouraging people to "speak their mind" thoughtlessly, taking no responsibility for their effect on others, only looking to make themselves feel better, is folly. Because, it keeps escalating the problem, because when people don't take emotional responsibility and instead lash out, they are ultimately going to make other sensitive people lash out too, and it becomes a proliferation problem, ramping up until everyone is increasingly and constantly hostile.

>Which is what we are seeing in the world.

I don't blame this person for being upset, because that is what we have encouraged in culture, rather than assuming best intentions. For people who don't necessarily have other important issues in their lives, small dramas become large, mountains out of molehills. Best intention takes the volatility out of a lot of social interactions, especially in the workplace where there are a wide range of personalities, experiences and *relationships.* Relationships matter and if one of their friends had said the same thing to them, they would have laughed.

So, it wasn't what was said, it was who said it. 

*Isn't that discrimination too?*

Lots of interesting conversations last night. 

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]



</div>

👍 acidyo, edicted, galenkp, canadian-coconut, daveks, abh12345, steemcleaners, smasssh, russia-btc, intrepidphotos, darsico, arcange, jim888, bitcoinflood, shanibeer, papilloncharity, cryptoandcoffee, bozz, kaerpediem, sumatranate, fw206, borran, pishio, combination, trucklife-family, preparedwombat, kendewitt, p1k4ppa10, therealyme, jongolson, zekepickleman, macchiata, fengchao, jhelbich, jaynie, nateaguila, bigtom13, phortun, cst90, adamada, penguinpablo, planetauto, molometer, ablaze, ryivhnn, marcocasario, cards4rent, simplifylife, codingdefined, mobbs, petrvl, iansart, nanzo-scoop, angelica7, santigs, becca-mac, mciszczon, silversaver888, dbooster, soyrosa, blanchy, gniksivart, rynow, nthtv, and 290 others

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@aftersound · Jun 11 '23

I totally understand how it goes to lose confidence in your body after suffering major health issues. I had to get surgery 3 years ago and still struggle with chronic issues today. I used to play all kinds of sports and was very athletic but now those days seem over. And I'm ok with that, but I know I need to stay active and not let muscles atrophy which I know they have over these past couple of years. Starting PT earlier this year has been helpful but it's a grind man, I wish you the best navigating your way back to 100% health.

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@aiovo · Jun 11 '23

well life is as it is its fun and annoying but gotta live it

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@bozz · Jun 11 '23

I'm glad you liked pickleball. I have never played, but my wife and I have both expressed an interest in it. I'd kind of like to wait until the hype dies down. I think people require someone to blame theses days. It can't possibly be their fault or just a coincidence, there has to be someone or something they can point the finger at.

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@coinjoe · Jun 10 '23

$0.18

Honestly, it is getting harder for me to assume best intentions sometimes with all the anger and vitriol on display these days. It is ironic as I have the same challenge as you with my writing and speech. My words and writing comes out before I actually process it properly. That is why I misspell a great deal of stuff if I do not go back and check my work or take my time. It is also why I have taken to speaking much more slowly and softer, and now some think I have a speech challenge, which I guess I do in reality. 

Either way, I am unapologetic about anymore. Apologies used to fly from me constantly when engaging with someone about my speech, but not anymore. I have come to the point now that if they are so shallow or can't think critically enough to figure out I may have a health challenge, then fuck em'.

👍 tarazkp, frostyamber

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@tarazkp · Jun 10 '23

>That is why I misspell a great deal of stuff if I do not go back and check my work or take my time

It is time consuming! It also takes a lot of energy to go back, reread and see what was screwed up. :)

> It is also why I have taken to speaking much more slowly and softer, and now some think I have a speech challenge, which I guess I do in reality.

I have tried this with mixed results - people seem to pay less attention when I slow down, which is weird. 

> I have come to the point now that if they are so shallow or can't think critically enough to figure out I may have a health challenge, then fuck em'.

I think I will get to this point soon enough...

👍 coinjoe, frostyamber

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@coinjoe · Jun 10 '23

> I have tried this with mixed results - people seem to pay less attention when I slow down, which is weird.

Same here. I think it is because they equate speaking slower to being less intelligent. Why wouldn't they? Media has made it out that way. How do they stereotypically portray uneducated or mentally handicap on television or in the movies most times? As slow speakers.

👍 frostyamber

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@ducecrypto · Jun 14 '23

> they became the epitome of hypocrisy in real time, without even recognizing it in themselves.

Uggh, people just don't get it, and they can be so self-centered that they can't empathize with other people's struggles.

And of course I like to assume best intentions, life is so much easier that way. Sure I've been a bit naive maybe at times in an effort to give the benefit of the doubt, but it sure beats being suspicious of everyone out to get me. That sounds tiring AF.

Also, you should have just taught your coworker the childhood rhyme:
"Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
Just get over it! I can swat this stuff away all day. But I too lack a bit of empathy when it comes to considering how my words affect others since I often don't take the negative talk to heart. "Get over it" never really seems to go over so well when that is my personal coping mechanism.

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@fieryfootprints · Jun 10 '23

$0.15

>If I had a dollar for every time I have faced something explicitly negative at work, I wouldn't have to work.

the drop of Hive price these days was super annoying. But I guess we can only stay optimistic...

👍 tarazkp

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@tarazkp · Jun 10 '23

$0.04

Is what it is :)

👍 fieryfootprints

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@frostyamber · Jun 11 '23

Hello my friend! &#128522;

You can't worry about what others think and say, but only about how you react to what they are doing and saying to you. I am at the stage in my life that if you're a negative person and you like to suck the energy out of others, than I've got no time for you, but if you're kind and positive and try to do your best in any situation, we can be friends, probably fast friends. Why bother making ourselves miserable just to make others happy, life is way too short for that. &#128522;

I spent a lot of years on ever increasing doses of morphine for chronic pain due to an injury I sustained in the military. For more than a decade I "sucked it up" and soldiered on, but my quality of life was horrible. When I finally released, medically, from the military, my life wasn't great and I wanted to give up many, many times. Then I found Christ. He saved me from doing something that couldn't have been undone and slowly, very slowly, I got myself off the morphine, started using medicinal plants, herbs and oils for pain management, which gave me back my life. I'm still not as active as I once was, but I move and do things every single day and that has improved my quality of life so much. It's like I've got a new lease on life, honestly, though there are still some days that the pains overwhelming, they are far fewer and in between days are much better. I'm blessed. &#128522;

For those that can't understand what you're going through/struggling with yourself, let them go. If they don't care enough to consider your issues, even after you explain what they are to them, then they aren't worth the energy, let them go and move on. Live your best life, we all should let go of those that don't care enough to care, just my opinion, of course. &#128522;

God bless you and your wonderful family. Have an awesome day my fabulous friend! &#128522;

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@jhymi · Jun 10 '23

$0.15

It's rather sad. Even if he didn't mean it, he should have at least asked after your wellbeing. Put up a front that he isn't such a hypocrite after all. Maybe what you said was displeasing, which shouldn't be so if he had to wait a whole month to talk about it, but his approach shows that he really doesn't practice what he "preaches"

I do hope you're a lot better now and I'm glad about the little steps you're taking to get around activities.

👍 tarazkp

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@tarazkp · Jun 10 '23

>he should have at least asked after your wellbeing. Put up a front that he isn't such a hypocrite after all. 

Funny, eh? Consideration of others tends to only go one way.

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@qwr · Jun 10 '23

Yes I also agree that we should be responsible and take the responsibility. By sports we keep our mind healthy and active. 
Have a great day dear.

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@zekepickleman · Jun 10 '23

$0.25

It is funny but the blockchain connecting us, and being a layer that divides us at the same time, I often forget about you having a stroke. You are just a leader and peer whose posts I search out for great conversation based on some common goals and completely different perspectives. I usually learn something like how a stroke effects an intelligent person. 

If someone approached me and said that I had offended them a month ago and they were here to make it right, I would probably inquire as to why this critical conversation took a month to happen. Were they working up a battle plan to get even?  Did they let it go but are bringing it up now because that is the only common subject or bond we share?  Did they have to work up the courage because they felt I would receive the message negatively?  Why now?

From there, no matter what the answer, I would leave them with an apology to make them feel good about making it right. Then it would go one of 2 ways. I would either share less with them on an ongoing basis, knowing my true self will likely cause them stress or drama in the future and they need a filter in interactions. Not every associate has to be a friend. The second way would be a candidly handled connection where I would appreciate the effort it took to make it right, an encouragement to not let this type of thing stew and live rent free in a brain, and most motley a stronger bond going forward. 

Truth is, as I get older, I appreciate the dumbasses dumbassing earlier in our relationship so that I know early on how little time I should spend with them. I can only care so much about so many things before it starts to wear me thin. I am sure I appear aloof to certain people but perhaps that is the mysterious aura I need. 

Most people are welcome to enter but fewer people are invited to stay.

👍 tarazkp, preparedwombat, coinjoe, frostyamber

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@coinjoe · Jun 10 '23

> Truth is, as I get older, I appreciate the dumbasses dumbassing earlier in our relationship so that I know early on how little time I should spend with them.

I think this is part of getting older. We have just grown tired of putting up with ass clowns and are no longer tolerant. Kind of like me and jalapenos.😀

👍 frostyamber

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@aftersound · Jun 11 '23

There is definitely something about getting older and having your perspective shift to see a much bigger world out there. When you're younger, your world is so small so you put up with a lot of shit because you think you have to. It's not until you're older that you realize you can make new friends, get a new job, go live in a new city, etc.

👍 coinjoe

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1 reply

@tarazkp · Jun 10 '23

:D

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@tarazkp · Jun 10 '23

$0.06

> I would probably inquire as to why this critical conversation took a month to happen. 

"Busy" was the reply. An odd reply in my opinion, if they felt so strongly. 

>Did they let it go but are bringing it up now because that is the only common subject or bond we share? 

I think that it might have been this, or a little Dutch courage. I found it interesting because they essentially have plenty of opportunity to bring it up, and they also have had plenty of opportunity to see my interactions with others, which are uniformly equal, unless they are friends. This is the minefield - people want to be treated equally, yet demonstrate that they can't be trusted when they are. 

>an encouragement to not let this type of thing stew and live rent free in a brain

This is the way I went and said that they should bring these things up quickly, as it allows for us both to grow. 

I try not to let these things get to me, but I also try not to change much myself, since I know that I treat people well and I know I never intend to upset anyone. I want life to be enjoyable and this constant witch hunt so that people never have to improve their own emotional control, makes life worse.

👍 zekepickleman, frostyamber

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@zekepickleman · Jun 11 '23

Busy. 

This is the lamest most ignorant excuse out there as far as I am concerned. If there was a month worth of things that took precedence over this in importance, then it was either not important at all or they are not telling the truth. Either way, thank you for bringing it up, you get the diet version of me from here on in. 

Their witch hunts and drama shows are their own. I refuse to play stupid games for those stupid prizes and happily retire from each of them as I find myself swept into one.   Easier said than done but fun to practice.

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