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This morning was a pretty good morning - other than the very early (430am) wake-up call from my daughter - who couldn't find her "sleep friend" - *Panda.* Instead she came into find me and it ended up being a nice little snuggle before getting her to settle into her own bed until 7 - although I didn't sleep more myself. When she awoke, she again tiptoed into our bedroom and cuddled a little more before getting restless - *we had work to do.*

![IMG_20200413_154901.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/AFLY4681-IMG_20200413_154901.jpg)

Today is my wife's birthday and while there is very little we can actually do to celebrate - my daughter and I made breakfast and decorated the table with some colored streamers, as well as donned the masks we had bought for the occasion - a cat, a monkey and an elephant. My daughter was the cat, my wife the monkey and me being the most suited, the elephant. Once prepped, we went in and woke up Mummy and my daughter sang a lovely rendition of Happy Birthday - then complained that the mask hurt her face. 

It was nice to sit down and eat together breakfast together (as we rarely have the chance with work schedules) and just have a little bit of quiet time here, sans workmen and the sounds of diamond drills through the stone walls. Yesterday, my daughter and I also went to buy some kind of presents too - normally we are much more prepared, but with everything going on - it hasn't been overly high on the priority list. 

>And, not overly special presents were found.

We couldn't go far and many of the local businesses in the small shopping center close by were closed. So, she ended up with a hand-made painting as a card from my daughter and since we don't really go anywhere these days and my wife doesn't get dressed up for work, some new pyjamas and comfy clothes to lounge around a bit in. As said, there wasn't much on offer - but, that is enough for now. 

>Then my breakfast was cut short.

Thankfully, I got a 10-minute reminder in my calendar for an appointment I had forgotten and rushed off to the office (the lounge room) for a remote meeting with a client. as I have mentioned, my own business which is about 50% of my income is pretty much dead in the water due to Corona and despite efforts, it has been a challenge to shift it to remote sessions - after 7 years building it up, it has essentially been lined up and shot in the matter of weeks. 

This particular client is one I have worked with for years, but they themselves have been restructuring their business over the last 10 months or so and I have barely had any contact with them. But finally, after a few probing emails, they were ready to get back into it, times locked-in, participants ready - then Corona stopped travel. 

This remote meeting set up a few weeks past, was meant to be about how to go forward and they figured it would be after the summer when travel is again possible. However, I stated my case and got them interested in going remote in the meantime and perhaps extending it out later also, to give participants (one-on-one) more flexibility. We are now penciled in for a first round of remote sessions starting in May. 

While not ideal and still not close to making up the immediate shortfall, it does close the gap a little and more importantly, it is a tether that holds the relationship together and has the chance to endure past the current circumstances. This means that at least with this client, I will have a future with my business. 

It is a pretty big relief for me as it has taken a huge amount of effort to get to where it has so far (prior to Covid-19 shenanigans) as not only a one-person company, but a foreigner who doesn't speak the language well enough to survive in the native tongue. It hasn't been an easy process in many ways and while the birthday presents we got my wife might have been lame, she was probably more relieved than I at getting the news. 

Survival for us is currently a massive balancing act (as it is for many) and when a piece or two of the puzzle don't fall into place, it can set the entire game back, as it adds stress on the system past its usual weighting as it compounds with the unusual conditions. The compounding affect is the hardest thing to calculate and predict, as even though as standalone events are understandable, how they will react when mixed with other aspects is difficult to render. 

Compounding values is not what we humans are good at and once these values move away from the numerical and into the social domains, it is even harder - as humans are messy creatures and when under stress, less predictable than normal. Each individual is affected by stress in different ways and the form, type and level of stress will add layers of dynamics on top. Some may be able to take a certain kind of issue in stride and perhaps even be antifragile and come out stronger for it, but change the issue and the same person might collapse under the weight. 

At any one time, we are all under various stress conditions and perhaps generally, we don't think too much of it when at normal levels or considered, *usual stress.* But when the environment changes, the usual suspects can start to act with a lot less familiarity, which in itself creates more stress again. 

I guess that at least for me, my process to manage stress isn't to avoid it, it is to face, identify and understand it - and my approach to investing actually comes into play here also, where I have already accepted the loss as soon as the decision is made. Once I can identify and classify the stress, the "knowing" of it allows me to accept it for what it likely is, *a passing phase.* This *generally* allows me to continue on without getting crushed, which often leads to bridges remaining intact or even being built, rather than razed to the ground. 

People tend to think that those that aren't affected by stress fail to feel it, but I don't think that is the case at all - quite the opposite. I think that it is much like a headache where some people will pop a pill to avoid the pain, others will find the root cause and overcome the pain and perhaps prevent it from happening as frequently in the future. But, we all have our own processes for dealing with life and the strange thing is that despite the massive deviation in outcomes from brilliant to utter failure - most people seem to think that they have skills. 

Under stress, skills are put to the test. 

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]


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