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It is almost midnight, but it is going to be a while before I get to bed, as I am on nightshift - as our daughter is ill - and it is likely that we are going to get ill too, as she has Norovirus. It started with her grandmother last night, and she is in hospital now. At nearly eighty years of age, severe illness is well, *pretty severe.* Smallsteps was there for Saturday night, and we picked her up on Sunday - a couple hours later, the ambulance was called. Thankfully, she is doing much better today and should be home tomorrow or the day after.

![IMG20250219120105.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/23zGm3gaYmsg39UkpDhQRsJqGxucByax6x5nBfgVAnYDB8HVLSUxfVTJdNeq8JgcFjsf2.jpg)

At that stage, we didn't know what caused the issue and Smallsteps was fine this morning and went to school and came home fine around midday. However, as we were eating a snack together, she went downhill fast, and then spent the next eight hours laying on the bathroom floor. 

> We had plans together. 
*Cunning plans.*

As tomorrow (very soon today) is my wife's birthday and Smallsteps and I were gearing up for it. However, my wife who is in bed now is starting to feel ill, and no doubt, I am going to be struck down also. So it looks like it is going to be a birthday to remember, *for all the wrong reasons.* 

> It could be worse.

At least we will be here together, with my wife home from work, Smallsteps home from school, and me running around doing things for them. I guess it counts as family time? Maybe if everyone is able to sit, we can watch a movie together, or play some cards, or a boardgame. 

My mind isn't really in the frame of mind to write something more important than this at the moment, but I still like to write under various conditions to better explore capabilities. As I have said before, I have written under some pretty extreme conditions, and I see it as a training of sorts to know my limits. So far, I have always been able to get *something* out, though what it is might not be the most interesting, or the most valuable bit of content for people to read that day. But I always try to include *something* that people might be able to reflect on.

For instance, for those living alone, what is it like when you are very ill? I hate being sick, but I tend to work through most illnesses regardless. But, I don't know what it might have been like to go through having the stroke if I had been alone. It was hard enough with people helping me. 

A friend of mine had an event a few years ago that left her struggling with her health for a few months, and it completely shifted her opinion of "freedom". Prior, she was super happy being a young millennial hipster who didn't need anyone cramping her style with a formal relationship, and would proudly not commit to a partner. However, once she was physically struggling alone, she also realised how *lonely* she was. In the silence of solitude, what was hiding in those dark corners of her mind, came out to play - and due to her brain injury, she couldn't avoid the game by watching screens. 

Illness makes us vulnerable. And while that is not a position anyone really enjoys being in, it is also a part of any kind of meaningful relationships. I think these days, a lot of people confuse vulnerability with broadcasting their sense of victimhood, but I think there is a difference in the level of intimacy.  Being vulnerable for social attention, isn't the same as being vulnerable due to need. And accepting help from a vulnerable position, is different than getting sympathy attention for signalling weakness. 

> Someone suffering doesn't need attention - they need help.

And while I sit here writing on a laptop by my daughter's door waiting for when she needs help, I know that I don't want her to have to go through these kinds of things in her future alone, and hope she finds people she can be truly vulnerable with - and help them when they are in need also. Too much of the current culture is only there for the good times, while expecting that when they as an individual are suffering, people will be there to look after them. 

> Being there is the job of parents - not society.

If we want a society where people are there for us, we have to be there for others too. And if we want people to be there for us, we have to make sure that before we need them, we have built the kind of relationships of meaning and value that create supportive relationships. 

It has been a while since I have been on nightshift.

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]


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