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We're about to enter into the last month of the year and as expected, it has been one that has flown past as well as dragged on and on - depending on perspective. It seems that the "good years" are behind us now and from here on out, it is going to be trash for a while - as if the last few years could be considered *good.* 

![IMG_20201226_131927.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/23ywyqkxLQNXDGYVHvg3nEd9XCSxNg5ZqeP8m2JQ1NNoYouvyYVmdg2ZUNYFqLzsuMUmE.jpg)

For me, health has been the biggest factor over the last couple years with there constantly being something that stops us from doing much of anything. There feels like there is a constant barrage of medical issues and just when it seems like there will be some respite, the next issue arises. For example, last week I had Covid and then just as I was getting better, my wife got her finger stuck in the door and broke it, with bad nerve damage that is causing a lot of pain. 

>Fucking random. 

Constant disruptions to be able to live a semblance of a good family life, always having to say" next time" or "later" to the things we want to do - even the simple things. At some point, what ends up happening is that in order to do anything at all, we have to do things separately when each individual can, which is fine, but in my opinion, it breaks the connection of what a family is. 

In my opinion, if families don't do things together, the ties that keep them together break and it becomes a group of people living together out of convenience. At some point, it is no longer convenient and then it becomes a group of people that no longer live together - somebodies that used to be known. 

I was reading an article the other day about the large percentage of women who want to leave their partners, but worry about the financial implications. While " money" shouldn't dictate this, it is obvious that it is going to in a world where money is king. The other interesting thing was that it didn't matter much if the women themselves were working and earning well, or even more than their partner, they still didn't want to face any financial detriment or change in lifestyle. 

If for example my wife and I were to breakup, neither of us would likely be able to keep the house we have now, meaning there would be lifestyle changes regardless, as we would have to find a way to convert one large house into two small ones, likely meaning that we would both end up with apartments. Then, because we would have to share custody of our child, we would both need apartments with two bedrooms. This means that essentially, we would be going from a two bedroom house, into needing four bedrooms.

>Inconvenient.

And *expensive.* Essentially, any gains we would have made in our renovations would be soaked up into having to buy more bedrooms than we currently need when living as one family unit. But, there would also be the change in lifestyle where we would both be living in apartment buildings again, and our daughter would lose the "freedom" of the garden.

Then of course, because at least currently we are both working in places that require cars to get to the office, a second car would be required, which in Finland is always an expensive undertaking.

And these are just the major things to consider, so it is no wonder that people stay together out of convenience, because the cost to *not be together* is so high and disruptive that it makes it very difficult to manage in normal life, unless there is a significant financial support safety net behind.

I know that for when my ex and I broke up and I bought her out of the apartment we shared together, the economic impact on me lasted for another decade, as I had no fallback, no family to lean upon at that time and had to go into increased debt to cover costs. However, while it was financially hard at the time, keeping the apartment a few more years meant that it was possible to support my current wife with her moving in with me and then, when we sold, there was a fair bit of capital in it which provided a decent deposit on a larger apartment together, and then that provided for the deposit on this house.

If I had taken the easier economic path at the time, it would have mean selling the initial apartment and renting instead, which would have meant that daily life would have been more manageable as I would have been debt free, but I also wouldn't have held any assets to use for future investments. 

But, let's see what the new year brings, which is a completely arbitrary date in the calendar, but we seem to act as if it is meaningful. Moving from one year to the next really shouldn't have much effect on anything of significant important, but psychologically it tends to give us some hope that things might be different, might be better - even if history tells us otherwise. 

The economy doesn't currently look like it is going to get much better at least and after all of these years, I suspect that the health of my family isn't going to suddenly improve a great deal. Talking with some friends recently, it seems that the disconnection has been increasing across the board, so I guess like always - we just have to wait and see if we will end up doing more of what we want, or living further apart, whilst under the same roof. 


Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]



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