> we will inevitably fail and have to downgrade again, and again. How far can we go?

I'm thinking about buying a simple pup tent. That way I will be prepared.

It is hard dealing with stress, people saying *"relax, it will be fine"*, are not the answer. Learn what kind of stress is bothering you, then look for ways to beat it healthy wise. Job stress people used to go out and smoke, now they chug a cola and just continue to stress until the heart attack, I am not advocating smoking, but perhaps if people took that smoke break as a short walk break it would help.

Family stress is different than work stress, one of the most over looked stress points in life, sometimes it is good to get away for a bit but then if it is stress that needed to be worked out all one does is delay the inevitable. 

It takes time to learn to deal with stress, and everyone's answer to it will pretty much be different, they found what works for them, not what might work for others. Still trying out a lot of different stress relief techniques may lead to a self learned technique from them.

Sorry I missed the stroke and had no idea. Just take it easy and take your time. The "have to" will hopefully change in the next few years.  

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Looking back our ancestor's time, the 'have to' did exist. The more developed the society is, the more popular the 'have to' is, do you think so?

> When it comes to dealing with stress, it isn't about avoiding what is stressful, it is about building the tools required to manage it.

This is 3/4 of many people's problems. They panic over being in debt, being divorced, being out of a job... you name it. But, like you said, building the tools and managing it, even if it doesn't make it go away that moment, managing it into a livable situation enables you to fix it, in time. 

In the US, there are jobs, many of them, but, people have elected to not go back to work, mostly because they can manage the unemployment that Uncle Sugar gave out. Wait. Bonus unemployment. Your unemployment PLUS $600 USD a week to help. Who wants to go back to work? Many don't. I worked through the pandemic, twice as hard as normal, but, guess what? There will be an end to all of that and many of these people are living by the seat of their pants, wondering why they always get the short end of the stick. 

If you want to leave work early and God willing, I will, you have to work for it, unless, you have a rich uncle stashed away. Planning and keeping debt in check. No debt is better, but, houses/cars can be expensive. How fortunate you planned ahead for that rainy day. And while it is a blow to have to dig into it, if many people had that happen to them, they would be in forclosure with the house. 

I hope today was a good day at work! Waiting for a lost memory to pop in your head. :)

>I think that this is the trap of credit cards for most people, because it assumes that next month we are going to earn a little more to cover the expenditure on things we couldn't afford this month.

I learned this the hard way from my mom. Things never did go the way she planned financially the next month and it was so bad at a point it required major intervention (mind you, my parents were quite comfortable and had no business in debt). I am very reluctant these days accumulating debt of any kind and am glad I can adjust to practically any mode of living without pressure to keep up with expectations

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Rotational debt is a big no, no in fact very few assets where one enters long term debt. A home and a car, (the car is a must where we live.) Obtaining credit has become too easy over the years, watch out for the _'rob Peter to pay Paul'_ scenario with it's a bad domino effect.

Silent pressures have been mounting since 2020, strain is showing with many people in many forms and guises. 

Each has to find the tools to deal with pressures, yes _hopelessness_ can become a disease, one to be avoided at all cost.

!LUV

I broke my pinky last year, and the night after I got the cast on, I got fixated on how claustrophobic I felt at not being able to straighten the finger. 
Apparently around 5% of people struggle with this. It might relate to the fact I'd gone 4 decades + without experiencing plaster; but it was so difficult to stay on top of it. 
I actually stood in the kitchen with a pair of scissors, trying to work out how I could cut myself out. 
It was only when I realised I could, that I calmed down enough to leave it on. 
It was a valuable opportunity to get a taste of what somebody with anxiety must go through every day. Only a taste though, since mine was temporary, and physical removable. 

>  I am not very good at taking orders from authority

Oh gosh, I haven't felt that as keenly as I have this year. I've been downright resentful of it - not just at work, but because of how restricted our movements are here in Victoria. We also can't fly to Europe, as you know, to visit family, which is frustrating too - we are very much bound by distance and this land girt by sea. 

Talking to other people in the department today about their situation, and their envy I'm leaving, I realise exactly what you say here - people are very, very bound by big mortgages and debts. We bought rural, live in a modest house, and refuse to get any more loans. I've had two car loans in my life and organised to pay them off in two years - and still have those cars. We live within our means. We've been lucky to have well paying jobs as teachers, so we've had wonderful opportunities to travel, yet we travelled on shoestrings before we had careers. 

Now we have paid off the mortgage, we'll be living off one wage. Lucky we have one grown son who's perfectly happy to look after himself and pay for himself. We are happy with very little and absolutely REFUSE to get into debt. We've BEEN super poor and though lack of money can make things stressful, we made do. 

Now, if Jamie was out of a job, that'd be a different story - that worries me a bit. We don't have a lot of savings. To be honest, I'd be happy to sell the house (it's tripled in value) and live on a boat or in the Defender, but how long can we do that? There's certainly some anxieties there. My honey thinks the world will end before then. 

Meanwhile, I'm growing more of my own food and finding clever ways to save money. Not exactly belt tightening yet - still a few holes to go - but rethinking abundance, and what it means. I'm certainly happier for not working - that job was going to kill me, and my health is more important. Hanging out with my old man whilst he is still alive? Being creative and pursuing my own passions? Spending time in nature? Surfing? Priceless. Money can't buy that. 

Sorry to hear about your stroke, and hope things improve financially soon. Seems like you are framing it all in the right way anyway. Things have a way of working out. 

Don't ever do the credit card!

I think it's the "have to" and the imposition (you're "allowed" 4-6 weeks off every year for a holiday and then only if the boss/es "approve") that people would hate if they generally love their jobs.

And I've told you bits and pieces about various brain glitches that can make things interesting too.  If you'd been able to look into my life pre-family I think you would have just been shaking your head wondering how I survived XD

Have you managed to get back into the swing of things alright?

>but it is the "have to" that I dislike.

I am with you and that's the reason I am farting about here instead of updating my CV for the next grind. I don't want to work, not for other people. I can survive probably until next year.. but needs are needs.

I like some of my job as well. However, most of it I am on the "have to" side. I always believe that whatever job you do, if you have a good ambience and co-workers at your workplace (doesn't matter if you work at home), you will not feel the "have to".