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Slow and steady by tarazkp

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· @tarazkp ·
$15.29
Slow and steady
<div class="text-justify">


Tomorrow I head back to work after a couple weeks of "holiday" where I didn't really do anything vacation-y at all. But today, one of my work colleagues visited with his wife and we enjoyed an afternoon of eating pies and talking about the ills of the world - where Corona and the knock-on problems of the way it is getting handled featured heavily. A lot of it being economic, but there are a lot of social concerns. 

![OI000715.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/OWexdkXB-OI000715.jpg)

![OI000712.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/RaBttOJk-OI000712.jpg)


What is often interesting is when the economic implications of the situation are raised, a lot of people tend to say "you can't put a price on life" as if that means that spending money has no affect on people's experience.  I would suspect that many of us in this world would cite economic uncertainties as one of (if not the) largest concerns in our life and it is likely one of the greatest stress points for many. This position has its own consequences and will affect all manner of things that are important to us, including our relationships with the people we love. 


![OI000711.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/7b1GyqpI-OI000711.jpg)

![OI000718.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/Z9jJBpIE-OI000718.jpg)

I know that for my wife and I and especially over the last few years since my daughter was born, our financial situation has been the source of a lot of discussion and worry, as like many, we have struggled at times to meet our obligations and responsibilities. Often, it is the case of two steps forward and one back, but there are sometimes the *one step forward and two back* issues also, where for some reason or another, the outgoing expenditure spikes and the modest gains made have a large chunk bitten out of them. 

![OI000710.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/b0kWghNP-OI000710.jpg)

![OI000719.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/IMN6IGFt-OI000719.jpg)

If it was easy, it wouldn't be valuable. 

While a lot of relationships suffer when under financial hardship, I wonder if some get stronger because of it, where a couple find ways to cooperate and complement each other in order to meet the demands of life. While I am sure there is a law of diminishing returns in play, I would suspect that a little overcoming for a relationship creates a stronger bond between two people so that they are willing to combine resources and compound their results. 

![OI000717.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/uIqClrLQ-OI000717.jpg)

![OI000716.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/zGmhUapY-OI000716.jpg)


The saying is, *behind every great man is a great woman'* but I think this is a very limited and rather immature perspective. I think that in a well-functioning relationship, the support is going to go both ways and will depend on the circumstances of the moment. Sometimes one will support the other, sometimes it will be reversed. In my opinion, the most valuable relationship is one where two people are motivated and supported to be their best, but what that means for the individual is unique, as the targets will change, as will the methodology and incentives. What brings out the best in one, might not bring out the best in the other - so part of the relationship is understanding each other deeply and with the insight, wisdom and maturity to learn how to support the other and vice versa. A one-sided flow of support will build one and leave the other stunted and potentially resentful. 


![OI000713.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/gjzkDyi4-OI000713.jpg)

![OI000714.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/Bs7iWkNE-OI000714.jpg)


Sometimes I wonder if my wife and I hadn't had the trialing experiences we have had, would we still be together or would we have left each other due to a loose tether. It is of course impossible to know for sure, but I believe that a couple who have a sense of overcoming challenge *together* will form a stronger bond with each other. It doesn't mean that everything is pleasant, but it can mean that the challenges that are bound to arise in the future are approached with the track-record of *we did it last time.*

Maybe, this means that potentially greater challenges can be faced which often happen as we age, but also that while times are good, we are able to claw back more ground that was left when times were not. but perhaps more importantly than this, the bond is created through shared experience and that means that going into an uncertain future, there is the potential to share the load knowing, *we aren't in this alone.*

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]

*Before our guests arrived, the three of us went out and picked some gooseberries from the garden and this little fella was looking for a meal. The berry is about one centimetre in diameter, so the snail was only a couple millimetres long.* 

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๐Ÿ‘  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , and 284 others
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@attajuttjj ·
$0.06
it is true that world is facing with economical loss around the world,but it also gives so much time to comprehend those things that were not realized by us before.Despite covid tension we have so much to do ,i.e spend time with siblings ,parents ad so on.people became more humble than before because every one knows this time is very tough for all of us,but at the end we as human being should play a responsible and sensible role in society so we can conquire this together.
๐Ÿ‘  
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@tarazkp ·
Has your family life improved because of the current situation?
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@attajuttjj ·
well can't say improve just that it helps me to grow closer to my family
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@bashadow ·
$0.06
That little bugger looked like he was having fun crawling all over that gooseberry. I think shared adversity is one of the things that does build strong bonds between people.
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@tarazkp ·
For a tiny snail, it moved fast. I didn't have a flash and the light wasn't great so it is misting some sharpness, but I like the feel of them :)

Shared adversity connects people - considering adversity itself can make us stronger as individuals.
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@belema ·
$0.05
As always, a post with a lot of food for thoughts. Looking at it now, a lot of the concerns about the current pandemic is actually from an economic point than social point. I actually believe that you will never know how you might react in certain situations when push comes to shove. For me it  is a conscious and continous effort to always remember that it is 'two of you against anything else'.
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@tarazkp ·
>I actually believe that you will never know how you might react in certain situations when push comes to shove. 

A lot of people don't seem to predict their future abilities well and believe they are more capable than they are. I tend to go the other way, and predict I am going to fail :D
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@belema ·
Wow. Doesnt that affect the outcome or result ?
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@buttonn ·
$0.06
Great creativity with the snail...
In your post about your Venice experience and with this I have read I can say that you loved back then and now the bond is stronger.
And now you have a daughter.
Family is one great asset you have. We all need support and also have to give it back too so we can grow too.
Besides it's the UEFA champion league's final and a good time to hangout before the new week commences too.
I was also hanging out and it's been a wonderful experience all evening
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@misterengagement ·
<center>  Thank you for your engagement on this post, you have recieved <code>ENGAGE</code> tokens.</center>
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@tarazkp ·
>Great creativity with the snail...

I don't know if people will notice, but most of the shots were chosen because the snail is "reflected" in the stalk of the berry :)

>And now you have a daughter.


And an awesome one at that. 

I don't follow the football, but it isn't a bad way to wind down or gear up. Did your team(or the one you were backing) win?
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@tarazkp ·
!ENGAGE 15
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@cranium ·
$0.06
Any relationship is a headache. But, lack of relationship is much worse.
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@tarazkp ·
People think being single is easy - until they realise different too late.
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@hivebuzz ·
Congratulations @tarazkp! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

<table><tr><td><img src="https://images.hive.blog/60x60/http://hivebuzz.me/badges/postallweek.png"></td><td>You have been a buzzy bee and published a post every day of the week</td></tr>
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<sub>_You can view [your badges on your board](https://hivebuzz.me/@tarazkp) And compare to others on the [Ranking](https://hivebuzz.me/ranking)_</sub>
<sub>_If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word_ `STOP`</sub>


To support your work, I also upvoted your post!


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@karenb54 ·
$0.06
Hi. Ive been married 30 years we have been through a recession twice, hubby being paid off work so many times, that's what a building site is like.  We have struggled so many times and have 2 daughters. We have been on a DMP debt management plan for 20 years. Next year at this time we will be debt free and our house will be ours. Support each other don't blame each other and talk.  :)
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@misterengagement ·
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@tarazkp ·
Hard times for sure - but here you are to talk about it :)

>Next year at this time we will be debt free and our house will be ours. 

That is going to be an awesome feeling no doubt ..but, will you miss it? ;D

> Support each other don't blame each other and talk.

What has your particular secret been to approach this?
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@karenb54 ·
$0.05
We have fought we have stopped speaking  its natural as its very stressful. I have been tempted to leave but nothing would change as i would still have those problems but be alone.  We talked about it,  signing up for a DMP was scary, once it was underway it got easier, no more demanding letters  everything went through the company.  Its a fantastic feeling knowing this time next year we have done it and we will then own a house. Can't wait.
๐Ÿ‘  
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vote details (1)
@tarazkp ·
!ENGAGE 20
๐Ÿ‘  
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@pcojines ·
$0.05
Certainly it's much better to share the burden, I think a relationship should be carried that way, when one can't or it's difficult for the other to complement. This is how I applied it except in the things of the home ๐Ÿ˜„ since I was a child my focus was on study and study, as an adult I work and work and it is something that I like, I achieved independence and I like to share I have no problem sharing expenses, if there is a problem I support and we go forward as a team, until the topic of the home offices appears at that time I do not want to cooperate ๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„ however the effort is made that is what life as a couple is about and more so when the family is completed with the arrival of the children.

However, I think it is extremely important that everyone develops in what they like and can grow professionally or in what they are passionate about, I think that achieving financial independence is the best
๐Ÿ‘  
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vote details (1)
@tarazkp ·
There is a "division of labour" issue that most couples face - for my wife and I, she can complain about me not cooking (I do about 20% of it) but she doesn't factor in that whenever something even remotely of weight needs to be done, it is *always* me. With the renovations ongoing, there is very little she can actually do at this point. The problem is that if we aren't the ones actually doing the work, we devalue that work when someone else does it. 

>I think it is extremely important that everyone develops in what they like and can grow professionally or in what they are passionate about

I agree and there is also a "time and place" issue with this. We can't always do what we want, when we want - but we can help make space for each other to fulfill potential sometimes.
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@ryivhnn ·
$0.05
The snail and the fruit look like theyโ€™re having a nice conversation ๐Ÿ˜† 

Iโ€™m pretty sure the behind  every great man is a great woman saying comes from a time where gender roles were ridiculous so itโ€™s definitely a bit dated in its current form.

Things donโ€™t necessarily have to be particularly difficult or hard to get to be valuable. I have a cheap mechanical pencil that I donโ€™t even remember where it came from but itโ€™s the only thing I want to draw with if I actually draw analogue and I get really annoyed if it disappears (rarely happens now that it lives in the spiral binding of my sketchbook but there has been chaos and rage when Iโ€™ve previously misplaced it or J took it to write a note and now no one touches it).     

And as far as relationships go J and I have been together for nearly 18 years and weโ€™ve been really fortunate in that the hardest things weโ€™ve had to contend with are each otherโ€™s personality flaws ๐Ÿ˜† (poor guy got the raw deal there ๐Ÿ˜ต)

So you had a nice get together then? ๐Ÿ™ƒ
๐Ÿ‘  
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vote details (1)
@tarazkp ·
>The snail and the fruit look like theyโ€™re having a nice conversation 

If you look closely,a lot of the positions of the snail are reflected with the stick part of the berry :)

>Iโ€™m pretty sure the behind every great man is a great woman saying comes from a time where gender roles were ridiculous so itโ€™s definitely a bit dated in its current form.

"Behind every great gender neutral/fluid/... lays a great non-binary...." I have no idea - I can't keep up with all of the terms...

>Things donโ€™t necessarily have to be particularly difficult or hard to get to be valuable. 

Nope it doesn't have to be - but having that hurdle seems to make us want it more - I wonder, do you draw better with that pencil when you had to search for it? :)

>the hardest things weโ€™ve had to contend with are each otherโ€™s personality flaws

This sounds familiar - we have had a pretty rough time of it in some ways - but we are both stubborn as hell ;D

>So you had a nice get together then?

It was nice. I don't have many friends left in the city, so having some visitors occasionally from "my side" is welcome.
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@ryivhnn ·
That's why I said they were having a nice conversation XD though I only really noticed when the eye stalks were aligned with the berry stalk, I don't think I was attentive enough pre-coffee to notice the entire snail aligning with the stalk ^_^;

Behind every great person are more great people XD

Nope, my drawings suck just as much whether I've had to look for the pencil or if it was where it was supposed to be.  I can't actually draw :)

Aww all your friends moved back or on?
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@santigs ·
$0.05
A good relationship makes any hard time easier to go through. Sometimes we face tough situations and experiences but if you can rely on your loving one the relationship grows stronger. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvL7zRfx8lo
๐Ÿ‘  
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vote details (1)
@tarazkp ·
Even in failure, things are better together :)
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