In this fast-paced life, it has been an ordeal to keep the lines of communication open and to use them correctly. This has resulted in a myriad of problems among family, friends and co-workers. The truth is that we must communicate with conscience, it is a task for all of us. I don't even want to imagine if we extinguish communication by replacing it with technology. It is a sad situation, so we must get down to work.

Greetings 🤗

I am amazing at small talk!

While I love a good deep conversation, and I think I'm really good at those, I do know people that I only small talk with and that's totally fine.  Not everything has to be deep and sometimes surface level is completely fine with everyone.

I do agree that small talk is as much about gauging where the other person is at... how much they are willing to share, if now is the right time or place, etc. Honestly, I think that listening might be our most important skill ever... and so many people are so terrible at it. 

I suck at small talk. I just don't have the patience for it.  I think part of it might be because of my ADHD.  I'm actually more okay sitting in awkward silence with someone than I am talking just to be talking.  Call me crazy.  I try to reach out to my friends, but it is often long stretches between us talking. I know they have their lives and I don't want to interject myself into them.  I watch people who are good at small talk and I often am jealous of them, it's a skill I wish I had.

I wouldn't say small talk is not done here. It is. But at the same time, it's not especially common. Most people prefer silence if there is nothing to be said. 

> I was in a training session where people were role-playing customer discovery calls, and the thing that was highlighted was that the people acting, were far more intent on getting what they wanted said, than listening to the voice of the customer, played by me.

> not actually paying attention or appropriately acknowledging the replies.

I think this has been normal for a pretty long time. Perhaps it is getting worse these days, but it's always been there. I've read so many times that the majority of people don't actually listen to the other person, merely wait for their turn to speak. We can go back over a hundred years and Dale Carnegie mentioned that because of this the secret to getting people to like you is to actually listen to them because most people never actually listen. 

I think the talk is kind of reducing. People just want to vent to each others face but don't want to listen. i guess that has been the pattern since the computers started taking over the life of people. I guess this will continue for years now.

I think that I am better at listening than at talking...

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I think small talk or big or deep talk depends on the relationship, who is talking to you. If we aren't that close we could make small talks but when we are close and we have a common ground oh boy we talk till whenever.

I really need to up my listening skills, I'm lagging a lot in that aspect

It was a good read @tarazkp 

All human beings like stories and using them in the way we actively communicate is how we sell products and services, it is the best way to help our potential customers get what they want, and it works in all areas of our (personal) lives including Mr. Taraz.

Doors open wide when communication and active listening flows like "unbiased river of its flow". 

I realized a long time ago that it was just more peaceful not worrying about when to communicate and that this was a problem induced by the age of Social Media! 

Listening and asking productive questions let's the person you are with know you care about them. I doubt if any of us are perfect at those skills. I am constantly reminding myself to just listen. 

I do not know, I found that my friends are clasified in two categories: very good friends, which I can not see for few years, and we start the conversation from where we left it, like it was yesterday, and we always exchange ideas and brainstorm all kind of stuff, and some that keep touch on regular base, but we mostly speak nonsense like how are you how is job, everybody we know is alright? kind of stuff.

I like that way of thinking. I am not a finnish or nordic european (italian), but I do not like small talks either. I consider them a waste of time. IF I have to say something to someone I just do it. 

I confess that I have always been a great talker; I like to talk to friends about everything from serious to less serious things.

In any type of relationship I believe that communication is essential.
Learning the art of communication really helps in all areas of life.
If we think about it, healthy and strong couple relationships as well as beautiful friendships are based on communication; a good salesman is a good communicator.

I also believe that listening is also part of communication just as I think all non-verbal communication is important; these three things put together really make the difference if you know how to use them well.

Listening is another form of talking. We are not loud enough to be heard but we are making the connection in this very.

I think it depends on how often you talk to someone.

If you are chatting to people you haven't seen for a while, then yes, it becomes "data dumps", as you catch up.

If it's people you meet every week, it's relaxed small talk; funny stories about stuff that's happened recently, gossip about mutual friends, and grumbling about the govt and the state of the world.

I think during the pandemic, people got out of the habit of meeting regularly.