It is interesting how the dynɑmics of communicɑtion cɑn vɑry so much between different cultures ɑnd people. The ɑbility to mɑnɑge ɑwkwɑrd silence is certɑinly ɑ superpower in some situɑtions. As you mention, in internɑtionɑl negotiɑtions, it cɑn be ɑn effective strɑtegy for gɑining concessions or ɑdvɑntɑges.

The fɑct thɑt you ɑre reflecting on your own communicɑtion pɑtterns ɑnd considering ɑdjustments is ɑn importɑnt step. Sometimes simply sɑying "I need ɑ moment to process thɑt before I respond" cɑn be very helpful. Not only does it help others understɑnd your process, but it ɑlso gives you the spɑce you need to formulɑte ɑ cleɑrer ɑnd more relevɑnt response.

Chɑnging ingrɑined communicɑtion pɑtterns cɑn be chɑllenging, but it is ɑlso ɑn opportunity for personɑl growth. As you ɑdɑpt to new wɑys of expressing yourself, you mɑy discover more effective ɑnd sɑtisfying ɑpproɑches.

As for the underlying structures thɑt influence our communicɑtion, it is true thɑt they often operɑte in the bɑckground. Self-ɑwɑreness ɑnd reflection ɑre powerful tools for unrɑvelling these pɑtterns ɑnd, over time, ɑdjusting them ɑs necessɑry.

You ɑre not ɑlone in your quest to improve your communicɑtion skills. We ɑll fɑce chɑllenges in this ɑreɑ, ɑnd the willingness to ɑdɑpt ɑnd leɑrn is essentiɑl. Lots of encourɑgement in your process of chɑnge! By the wɑy, the speed of synɑptic communicɑtion depends on the importɑnce our brɑin plɑces on thɑt informɑtion.

The more you talk about Finnish people, the more I am convinced that I am one. Despite what my DNA actually says. If I go to a conference I will often find an empty table to sit by myself or eat. If someone sits with me I am happy to just eat my food in silence versus trying to have a conversation with them. It's just too uncomfortable and too much work for me.

Between stimulus and response there is a space and there is a lot of power in it. We indeed live in a fast paced society where most people lose patience very fast. 

I think that for some folks rambling helps them hear their own thoughts and find a cohesive structure. But on the receiving end it can be quite tiresome.

I wonder why silence is felt as being ackward? It can be refreshing, a sort of respite from the rush of daily life. What do you think?

I have come across people who can't sit in silence with one other. They must talk. They must fill that void with something. I also had moments when I was that person who always had to say something. Now I feel how exhausting it can be to always fill the time with talk. 
I think that in a workplace environment where things must be delivered fast and efficient there is room to make for silence, but this should feel good for the individual rather than constraining.

I think that I am a better listener than I am a talker. But I know some people who are good at talking but are not able to listen to what others are saying.

Thanks for sharing your journey with communication struggles. Slowing down to process before responding sounds like a great approach. It's a reminder that we all need to be more mindful in conversations. Keep it up! 😊

I agree with you Mr Taraz and it is that we all want to be actively listened to in the context of professional or personal success, with the challenges and obstacles (silence) in its dead time, always brings by response growth and learning, clarity of purpose and maturity necessary to achieve success, on that path we find everything.

Thanks for sharing your rambling:)

Isn't change or growth always hard in the beginning? Well I guess there are days where that is easy to say and some where it just feels to hard to be true. 
Anyhow it is inspiring to follow your process, as I can relate. And feel like if anything the experience of having to change and having to grow is ultimately what will stick over the years. Doesn't make it easier, but makes you remember that down the line it will get amazing.

Do you know the book "Thinking Fast and Slow" ? You might enjoy it. The writer is Swedish, so kind of from the same corner of the world, and reading your thoughts reminds me of it.

Having kind of the opposite experience, from Arctic Circle to Southern Spain talking about something other, than the weather was considered some kind of blasphemy. At least 5000 years fighting the cold does makes people think, that why waste energy moving the jaws?

But somehow it is possible to learn listening to multiple conversations at once with rough dialects. And even better, use the tongue to something more, than just tasting stuff. 

For me, it depends on the company, and type of conversation. If I'm with friends, we sometime do get silent for a while. We can be comfortable with it, or we laugh at the awkward silence. If it is just small talk with some people I just met; like in a taxi, or while waiting in line, I'll answer their questions or reply if they talk to me, but I won't initiate and I am perfectly fine not talking the whole time.

Silence during conversations hurts me a lot and that’s why I don’t talk to my brother. He’s always silent about everything and it can be very annoying. 
People may be frustrated talking to you because you’re always silent while talking to them😅

Communicating is an art. I have fallen into that realization. There are communicative patterns, like the silence you name, that is hurtful because very few recipients can handle intentional silences. I rather have a very cautious style, especially with people I don't know. Knowing how to communicate is an art and a gift.

Regards, @tarazkp 

You seem like an amazing person regardless,I found it fascinating how our brains process information differently based on speed. It made me realize how important it is to slow down sometimes and truly absorb what's going on around us.

I really enjoy leisurely conversations, especially somewhere in nature. But they are so rare. Because I'm a big talker myself.

In fact, I don't like the silence during a conversation, but it would somehow lead to playing with smartphones if not eye to eye :)