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The grateful debt by tarazkp

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· @tarazkp ·
$97.76
The grateful debt
Over the last decade or so there has been the mention of showing gratitude and how it makes you a better person but, this is nothing new, cultivating gratitude goes back to at least the Buddha. The interesting thing I find with it though is that people seem to be grateful selfishly. Does that make sense?

Let me explain my perspective, people want to get something out of their gratefulness, they want to feel better about their experience, feel happiness. Is this wrong? Not at all but it really is only half the story.

https://i.imgur.com/dofli57.jpg

The reason that gratitude is so powerful is because it is a pay it forward emotion, where the debt of service is not owed to the source of service. It is a community building attitude and spreads the value of service much wider than back to the lender. Make sense?

Let me give an example. A few weeks back it was my Steemit birthday and I mentioned that I owe a large part of my success to @acidyo and I am grateful for his help. This doesn't mean though that I am indebted to him directly which he understands well but, I am *obligated* to pay it forward into the community. This is a concept I have written of before, <a href="https://steemit.com/steemit/@tarazkp/spiralling-values-and-spreading-charity">spiraling values</a>. This is the difference between being grateful for someone's assistance and owing them a debt. 

This doesn't mean I take the grace shown for granted either, I do not *expect* his or anyone else's support but, my continued activities made possible by the support will hopefully be worthy of continued support. Too many take support for granted and become complacent, insensitive, entitled and *assume* support. It is often the entitled who are less than willing to use their position for the betterment of the community and instead of spiraling out, will keep the value within a tight circle.  

But, what if there is no one to owe at all? Some of us are born privileged in various ways, even though we all essentially have our various crosses to bear. This type of grace is impossible to pay directly but, it is still easy to use some of the value granted by the randomness of the universe and pay it forward to help others grow. This doesn't even need to be a charitable exercise as it can still be rewarding. 

Being part of a community has its own rewards and I don't mean being dependent on the community. To be part of a community, it means being willing to pay the grace of others forward without holding the debt as a favor owed. Sometimes it may be taking a cost of another, being a shield of sorts. This is not heroism, there is nothing grand about it, it is responsibility based on position within the community as the spirals support all levels of the community, from the lowest to the highest reaches.

Having gratitude is about personal morality and responsibility based on the realization that much of what happens to us, fortune or misfortune, is out of our control and if graced, we have a chance to deliver it on toward others.

This is of course not compulsory to do and many that choose not to are the type that believe that they are wholly responsible for their position and felt they had agency at every point. They are blind of course for it is impossible, as from the day they were conceived, randomness played a hand and theirs isn't that hand.

There is really no downside to being grateful yet many seem to believe that showing gratitude somehow lessens their own efforts but again, it is not true at all. If anything, there is a higher cost to pay for overstating the role of one's own agency in results as it comes across as arrogance and in the long-run, arrogance can leave someone ostracized and not part of the community, perhaps even lonely.

The upside is many-fold but there are two basic elements, the external community strength and support developed and, the selfish internal happiness, contentment and peace of mind. Gratitude is a win/win emotional position that activates a sense of duty to the external through the responsibility and understanding of the self.

There is another aspect that becoming grateful for even the smallest of things in this life does, and that is builds compassion for those that have not been graced the same. And compassion again is an active force that builds community, but we can talk of that later. 

For now, what are you grateful for, what do you get out of it, what will you do with it?

Taraz
[ a Steemit original ]
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@bud96 ·
I feel like you have a lot of potential to write and post quality content and it would be a shame to make it in vain. Follow me and i will follow u back in order to get more popular and fore more people to view our posts! thanks! Anyone who sees this can do the same, i refollow anyone. We're small but we can grow together!
πŸ‘  
πŸ‘Ž  
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@tarazkp ·
before you post this nonsense again on people's articles, perhaps you should read them or at least, have a look at the rep of the person. Since the article is about 'paying it forward' to the community, I will give you a chance to edit your comment before I flag it. A word of advice though, not everyone is going to give you this opportunity on your insensitive spam comments.
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@ladyrebecca ·
$0.27
I feel grateful for just being here, but in that there is no one to be grateful to - I don't know, maybe ned or dan for creating this community. To pay it forward, I guess convincing others to join would be the best option. I already have my family on Steemit, so that would leave friends, which is not that easy. For one thing, many people tend to raise an eyebrow hearing about cryptos and it's hard to blame them with all the FUD. On the other hand, it's a bit of jealousy - it's hard to share something you love. Still something I need to work on.
πŸ‘  
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@tarazkp ·
> it's hard to blame them with all the FUD. On the other hand, it's a bit of jealousy - it's hard to share something you love.

I have both of these issues and the added one that I am embarrassed when people see I do well here. I need to work on these too as I shouldn't limit their opportunity because of my own discomfort. I have been trying a lot more lately but contending with the FUD is a challenge for average people.
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@lordjames ·
$0.27
Some people might be surprised why I mentioned @joshuaetim in most of my comments and post but its my way of showing gratitude to him. Am glad he introduced me to this platform and also took some time to explain to me some virtue I'll need to succeed on Steemit - patience and commitment. 

Am grateful for this platform. It gives me a voice and show me how much we can do in the world with our willingness to give which in this case is simply an upvote. On Steemit I happen to meet people like @damarth who through his one meal a day campaign has inspired me to serve as a foot soldier in sharing the food to those who really need it. 

Whenever I express gratitude to these people and this platform I ask myself how will I pay this people back except to also extend the kindness to the people around me. This I will do by ensuring I introduced as many people as I can to this platform and to those who might not be able to earn from a platform like this, I will extend the kindness through charitable giving to those who need it. Thank you @tarazkp, for always taking time to write quality post that contribute to this community.
πŸ‘  
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@tarazkp ·
>I ask myself how will I pay this people back except to also extend the kindness to the people around me.

Do this while building your foundation and you will be able to help some now and many more in the time to come.
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@lucentbritex ·
$0.27
I'm grateful for the experience of being here on steemit. It has harnessed my writing skills, and socializing skills to an extent. I've always had the dream of being a writer and speaker, with every day I spend here, I see that dream come alive.
πŸ‘  
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@tarazkp ·
Use your experience and found voice to make the world a little brighter. Finding the voice was my other option to write about tonight.. maybe tomorrow :)
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@m-khan ·
Well education
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@por500bolos ·
$0.39
I guess.. as older as I go. I'm now grateful for having a new 'tribune' from where spit out my extravagantly conscious *way of thinking* without censorship to the masses. And through these actions, also be able to obtain my livelihood and a minimal survival mechanism to keep me going ahead doing it. Just offering the only thing of value I possess and have at hand: *A good chunk of some free quality time. And a little bit of knowledge, eccentric wisdom, vivid experiences and some knowhow.* And of course, my seemingly more hidden generosity, solidarity and gratitude. :)

Oh! And prolly I am also grateful, by my now *new capability* to wildly show my *ΒΏoften unintelligible and usually misunderstood?* **Sense of Humor** (ΒΏarrogance?) to tell you and talk about the things such like I perceive them from where I standing.

So, the apparent or *evident* ostracism, loneliness and more likely **cheerful solitude** that I've got and enjoyed thru the years after my occasional public tirades out there seems like they are gonna be my eternal companion. I suppose I've purportedly earned these arm wrestling mercilessly. }:)
And therefore, I suspect that this will be my fate for what remains of my life. Since I am positive that I am already too old now to try combat it or successfully change it as to please anyone.

> what do you get out of it, what will you do with it?

Hmmm, I have the hunch that it's utmost mere pleasure. Mere pleasure to know that I probably still count with new victims with whom play with their minds through my *sadistic* intentions to make them think and make them more aware. And that if this also gives me the possibility of being me more self-sufficient to keep me alive along the ride. Well, so be it!! :)
πŸ‘  
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@tarazkp ·
$0.06
>Mere pleasure to know that I probably still count with new victims with whom play with their minds through my sadistic intentions to make them think and make them more aware. And that if this also gives me the possibility of being me more self-sufficient to keep me alive along the ride. Well, so be it!! :)

Nothing wrong with enjoying life, nor earning a little bit of scratch to keep on ticking for another day, week, month or whatever has been granted and remains.
πŸ‘  
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@por500bolos ·
Yeah! and since I am such a sweet guy, I also like consume sweet stuff. You know?

<center>(https://steemitimages.com/DQmQY2vpjD9i3BaSL3kQocVuPWdbtu6YPYCPaNHMxrZxDi2/SweetStuff.gif</center>

So, someone have to pay for that. ΒΏDoesn't it? }:)
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@rohanbhardwaj ·
$0.11
Being grateful shifts my perspectives. It helps me focus on the upside in every situation rather than downside. I am more happy, relaxed and stress-free.

I couldn't be more grateful for all the opportunities...Thank you
πŸ‘  
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@snrm ·
$0.11
I see what you mean about being grateful selfishly. Kinda when I think about it when people volunteer for charity organizations just to say they did it and feel good about themselves. I guess I don't have a problem with it since it always results in GOOD coming out of it.
πŸ‘  
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@themanwithnoname ·
$0.22
Thought-provoking stuff as always. You said it all pretty well, so I'll just answer your questions at the end, for now.

I'm grateful for the people I've found on Steemit who continue to support and encourage me even though there's relatively little that I can give them. I can give ideas, encouragement, and advice, but I don't have much to give monetarily or upvote-wise. Still, there are quite a few people who give me feedback on my posts or comments. They upvote me more than I can give back to them. 

Their support is one of the reasons I was able to sponsor a contest giving away memberships to @steembasicincome. I've been given a lot of support and that's one way to pay that forward and help people who are still just starting out.
πŸ‘  
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@walid.larbi ·
The gratitude is now becoming extinct with people who do not know its value. It does not feel the other and has a conscience. It is really a very nice thing to be grateful. But people do not know its worth. Thank you brother @tarazkp for this sensitive subject.
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@wander-full ·
$0.11
A super nice read. This world would be so much better if everyone has a grateful and compassionate heart.❀ Pay it forward, duly noted! πŸ‘Œ
πŸ‘  
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vote details (1)
@yassinof ·
$0.11
first of all thank you for those amazing posts, secondly i'm grateful for the experience of being in this wonderful platform, here where i learned so many thing and i'm still learning and reading valuable posts like yours get new knowledge and people as well, hopefully to be able to use this wonderful platform as much as possible and know others ideas and way of thinking. thank you again @tarazkp
πŸ‘  
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