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The Judge and Fudge by tarazkp

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· @tarazkp ·
$86.24
The Judge and Fudge
<div class="pull-right">https://i.imgur.com/quhteYu.jpg</div>

I always find it interesting when someone judges a person they do not know but are adamant that their judgement is clear and precise. Most people count themselves as pretty fair judges of character as most see it as an intuitive skill, unlike playing golf or mathematics. They think that their experiences combined with their mental ability are more often than not correct in their appraisal of others, even though they rarely check for clarification.

Snap judgements are made on those we do not know based on relatively arbitrary information such as clothing, colour or a few words overheard. A lot of judgement is created in the first few seconds of interaction and that judgement can carry on to influence all following judgements. First impressions matter they say, as they can last a lifetime.

Of course, first impressions can change over time if a person gets to really know the one they have judged, and this can of course swing either way between positive and negative. But, what about all of those judgements made where there is no further feedback available, where there is no follow-up?

In those cases, the person making the judgement walks away thinking they have judged well as there is no evidence to contradict the view. This means that their 'ability' to judge is continually reinforced without any justification. This is likely why many people *feel* that they are a good judge of character even though if they reviewed the times they have actually judged poorly, they may be no better than 50/50, or worse.

The worse comes because when someone thinks they are judging a situation well, they are more likely to become overly confident and invest more heavily into it. When this comes to the judgement of people, it can lead to some potentially very embarrassing situations where one will voice their judgement to someone who does actually know the person and find that their *precision judgement tool* is seriously flawed. This will often be excused away by one reason or another but, rarely do we learn.

In the next instance, we are all too willing to take a crack at judging another person without having ever re-calibrated our instrument, and again, we think we are correct. This means that we are continually failing in our judgments but perhaps due to the protection of our ego, we will not admit our shortcomings. So we fudge the books instead.

Like a dodgy accountant, we keep two sets of books. The one that tallies the correct against the incorrect judgment instances and the one that over-weighs the correct and excuses away the incorrect. Then we burn the reality and base our faith in our abilities on the fudged numbers.

We are of course very sensitive to the way we ourselves get judged however, and most are more than willing to correct the slightest flaw in someone's appraisal, if heard. If given the chance, we will defend ourselves against evaluations we deem incorrect and call it unfair if we must pay a price for another's poor judgement of us based on limited evidence.

This unfairness when personally experienced of course rarely translates into the view of the hypocrisy we ourselves deliver upon others as we make snap judgements time and time again. It seems that no matter how often our judgement is proved lacking, we continually hold onto the illusion we are inherently good judges of character.

The other issue is that we rarely consider the time frame of judgements as when we build a narrative of someone and then there is a large gap of time between, we carry the original view through to someone that may think and act in a very different manner now. Old school friends or enemies would be a good example of this where we apply our judgements of the past to people who have likely been influenced by a whole range of life changing experiences since we last evaluated them.

It is impossible for us not to judge others since as humans, it is part of our core wiring, but what is possible is a self-evaluation of our own habits and practices. If we can take an objective step back and catch the times we judge and could be wrong or, look at how we ourselves may be evaluated by others, perhaps we could better calibrate for precision.

But more importantly, maybe we could understand that our judgements are generalizations made on a limited view of the situation. The room for error is large, so perhaps we should hold off on the condemnation until we get feedback based on useful measures.

We all have the flu at the moment in my house and my daughter hasn't slept so well the last couple of nights. This means that we are also all overtired and perhaps a little grumpy or short-tempered. How does this affect our judgement ability? This is of course another flaw we forget to consider that our own current position is nearly always compromised by a host of biases and localised influences. Our judgement is nearly always impaired.

Over the years, I have been called many things, been judged in many different ways. Some have judged me fairly, many have not but that is only what I know of. Everyone I have ever interacted with has created some position on 'who I am', positions I will never know. This is the way it is and I have of course judged many also and have probably made a large number of errors over the time. We can all likely do much better than we do and it is good to think about and remember this occasionally.

Taraz
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πŸ‘  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
πŸ‘Ž  
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@andywong31 ·
$14.39
This is so true taraz. I have experienced this with some people in my life. They constantly judge people without even knowing the true story behind soemthing. They dont feel the need to seek out proof before they go out judging away. They think that their "gut feel" is always right. Either they have ego problems or too proud of themselves, i tend to stay away from these types of people. Its never in my nature to be judgmental. Great post by the way taraz. I can definitely relate to this.
πŸ‘  ,
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@joendegz ·
sometime its sub conscience other times its the experience we had in the past that is pushing us to this place. other times is out of ignorance
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@andywong31 ·
i couldnt agree more joendegz. but i think its just a matter of how we condition our mind. i always believe that everyone has a choice to be judgmental or not. i know some has already made it a habit of being judgmental  but people can always change. if they try hard enough, they can get rid of this bad habit.  although its not easy but it is possible. that's just my opinion by the way.
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@tarazkp ·
Avoiding them is a limited option unfortunately as it is most of that do this. Dealing with our own processes goes a long way to removing the impact they have on us though.
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@andywong31 ·
Yes i totally agree. We cant really completely avoid them. I found that being mindful of my thought process helps a lot in dealing with them. I just hope their judgmentalism doesnt rub off on me.
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@freedompoint ·
$0.05
I think that is a great subject to blog about. About three and a half years ago we moved into the quiet hills of southern missouri. Down here we quickly found out exactly what they though about big, bearded, earrings and visible tattoos....without even giving me a chance to show them my heart. It's very important to give someone a chance first. Even with a tattoo on their face, you never know what led them to get that, or situation they may currently be in.
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@tarazkp ·
It is very interesting indeed with things like tattoos as often, there is a fashion component to it, especially these days. It is the same with beards. Imagine looking at old photos of the very people who judge you now. Imagine they are still sporting flared pants. 

Of course, they would argue that the pants are not permanent but, if tattoos had been in fashion instead, they would likely have them too.  People judge forgetting that everyone has been young as well as all the other factors that lead to various decisions.
πŸ‘  
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@ifp-lifes-wisdom ·
$0.05
Great blog Tarazkp, it hit a lot of notes with me, as I'm English living in Asia and I have had judgement of cultures and people within Asia from the English perspective, and from people who have never even travelled to Asia, then within Asia, you have one Countries view of a neighbouring Country, and that can be based on history or government propaganda, never from actually knowing a person from that Country.

I had the shock of my life two years ago when I was giving a lecture to a Company in one Country within Asia and I was asked where I was traveling to next, when I told them, which we were only having a polite conversation in a break between the lecture, the director sitting near me in front of her staff came out with the most insulting comment as a description of the people from that Country. 

Her view would have created an option with her staff, and no one in that room had visited the Country or even knew anyone from the Country, and the Country I going to visit, I know many people from that Country and have visited many times, and they are a breath of fresh air compared to many of the people in the Country I was giving the lecture.

After living in Asia for over 8 and a half years now, and having a lot of experience within both Countries, I would like to think I am qualified to make that judgment. 

Well written and to the point, thank you for sharing your thoughts.
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@tarazkp ·
The same issues exist here and everywhere no doubt. Most people judge based on  for limited or hearsay information and quickly embed it as truth. This is why it is so easy to unite people against a foreign enemy who have no experience with those people at all.
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@joendegz ·
$0.03
we tend to judge based on our level of knowledge or understanding of a situation. life and circumstances has pushed us to be who we are and that makes us do things differently
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@tarazkp ·
Yes, with even the flimsiest information we can convince ourselves.
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@katrinalewis ·
$0.03
So true!  We are all so judgmental at times.  Thanks for opening our eyes.
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@lucylin ·
$0.05
Yet another great post, mate.

I used to think I was good at judging people. 

After hanging around  for over 4 decades on this planet, I came to the conclusion - I am really, really bad, at accurately assessing of other peoples character. 
(It's a humbling experience).
πŸ‘  
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@tarazkp ·
It is indeed. I have been quick to judge too often and now try to be more reserved unless their is physical danger potentially  involved. Then I will judge fast and hard as asking for forgiveness for a quick and poor judgement is better than putting oneself in a dangerous position.
πŸ‘  
πŸ‘Ž  
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@lucylin ·
A wise policy.
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@makkizakki ·
$0.03
It is amazing how trees can look so ugly but yet give us beautiful things.

People have to stop judging others like a book cover. If people like to read then they should learn to read what`s happening from the inside of them first.
πŸ‘  
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@manycoolthings ·
$0.03
Isn't it up to the god(s) we believe in to be judges...not us humans. But yet almost every human judges another based upon prejudices we have developed/learned from others and or religion/dogma.
upvote & resteem
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@tarazkp ·
I  do not believe in a god so I must make my own way instead of putting my responsibility in another's hands. The rules of the 'Gods' are designed by humans with agendas.
πŸ‘  
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vote details (1)
@por500bolos ·
$14.41
<center>Ah yeah! **Β‘Judgments & Pre-judgments!**</center>

<center>https://steemitimages.com/DQmPqtxLj9efQs7AWw1U3RLjL1TNmFpjX7246J799BtZb6C/Job_Applicant.jpg</center>

People are always so willing to throttle way too quickly to judge in advance and prematurely without further verification. That definitely, **someone,** someone at some point had to miss the unique opportunity to discover something really great, extraordinary, important and valuable in their path nevertheless. }:)
πŸ‘  , ,
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vote details (3)
@tarazkp ·
Yes. I wonder how many excellent people and experiences I have passed because of an early judgement.
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@por500bolos ·
I doubt that mate. I really do. Perhaps, if by chance, only when you were a very little child. ;)

Since **I Know** you have and you wear those X-Ray posh glasses shown in your avatar *All The Time.* :D
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