Wow, reading you recalls lots of ideas inside my spirit!! 
First, the **cake example is brilliant in its simplicity**. By reducing the abstract concept of "fairness" to something as tangible as slicing a cake between parent and child, you expose how subjective fairness truly is. 
There’s no universal formula because every value system introduces a different denominator: body size, metabolism, effort, experience, need, or even power. What feels fair to one person becomes injustice in another’s eyes—not because of facts, but because of perspective. 
This mirrors real-life conflicts, especially in emotionally charged situations like divorce or community dynamics (like on Hive). The brilliance lies in showing that *fairness isn’t broken—we just pretend it’s objective when it’s inherently interpretive*. 
You don’t just argue this—you make us feel it, taste it, almost see the uneven slices on the plate.

Second, your reflection unintentionally echoes **Dale Carnegie’s wisdom**: *"Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and makes them strive to justify themselves."* He goes further, saying that criticism stems from pride and ignorance of the other’s inner world—and ultimately achieves nothing but division. 
Your friend’s destructive post-divorce campaign is a perfect example of unconscious criticism turned into action. It wasn't about justice or fairness; it was ego masked as moral righteousness. And what’s tragic is how common this is. 
We judge others for not walking away gracefully, for being bitter, for lashing out—but rarely do we pause to ask: *What pain are they carrying that I cannot see? What experiences shaped their response?* Without that empathy, our judgment becomes its own form of violence. 


So yes—there is no fairness in humanity. 
But perhaps there’s something better: **understanding**... And maybe, just maybe, if we stopped measuring fairness so fiercely, we’d have more energy to practice tolerance, compassion, and self-awareness—the only currencies that actually transform lives.

This is a good point, there is a big difference between equality and equity. People often try to use equality as a weapon, and deliberately ignore the all the advantages they've previously had.

Fairness is always going to be subjective, especially when it comes to Hive rewards.  I try to think about value to the blockchain in my voting. I've definitely seen authors who write multiple times a day, but they're really just variations on the same couple of themes rewritten slightly differently, and I personally don't think that adds a lot of value... but they get autovotes and don't care.  So I try to think more in terms of quality rather than quantity myself. 

When I write, I try to think of the value it could bring to the network because I think that's how Hive can set itself apart from the rest of the internet. 

Loved this one, thank you!

The thing with votes and likes and all that is a little trickier I think, as it depends a lot on people's opinion, too. Only because it gets a lot of up-votes or rewards, it doesn't have to be good quality. And that, too, can be fair, as that content creator may have had a good sense on what to say at what point, riding the trends, or whatever. Based on experience, too, in a different way.

The story you tell in the beginning is just sad. Another case of someone unable to handle their emotions. And this does not qualify as trauma, which *does* sometimes make people act in a way they did not intend, and not all of it is manageable. But those are extreme cases, and generally, you're right. We're responsible. We have to accept that.

This really hit deep, fairness is such a slippery word, and ego often ruins what could’ve been peaceful closure.

Fair is a human concept, and only applies to human nature. 

Nature is not "fair;" it follows certain laws and doesn't care who or what is in the crossfire.

Religion/God is not "fair;" religion does not operate on human opinion, and our earthly experience cannot even allow us to comprehend heavenly means.

Hive is the LAST place where I look for fairness. I realized this my first month in, when the 1,500 word post that I spent 3 days working on received 2 bot interactions lol. Our concept of fairness suggests that I should be rewarded for that time, effort, and content; but, the audience disagrees, no eyes on it, so 🤷‍♀️

I didn't get a divorce, but I have been in a situation like that. While I did want revenge at first, I didn't do anything. The problem with that is I was bitter for a long long time. So honestly, I am not sure which is worse.  

hahaha.. I admire your experience in cake eating!! :P but it's true. (i would agree with the distribution based on size)

yes, u are right.. after much thought, it is just not right to harbor any ill feelings towards my x wife.. the one i loved.. the mother of my children.

😉☺️👊🌈

I mean that's really bad to hear that he got cheated. That's so bad about the relationships when don't actually know the meaning about being true to someone. Things go really worst for the person who's suffering, the one who did it will just move on well, some will criticize them but they do have thay idgaf attitude and that's basically temporary. The person who's left behind has all the burden and the majority of problem first the divorce and all that alimony issues. 
I hope your friend tries to cope up with this situation, it's difficult but still...

Anger most especially destroys the mindset to think positive or control situation which is why people in such situation regrets their actions later. The way we humans control or handle emotions differs but regardless of that taking the bad step to end the situation will only worsen the situation without any solution.

On the divorce situation while I agree it was stupid of him to seek out revenge and make everyone's lives worse, I also understand just how much betrayal can feel. The stronger the love prior, the stronger the hate after betrayal I guess

"Fair" actually has different meanings to different people.
For some, fairness means a peaceful ending, while for others, revenge is fair.
Your writing reminded me — nothing comes easy without experience.
The writing was very profound, I liked it.

Code is law. If I'm holding the knife, the whole cake is mine. 
I might cut it into slices, but they're all mine. 
Fairness is one of those ephemeral concepts; where pretty much everyone has their own feeling about what it is, but specific definitions are rarely expressed and tested against each other. Like *exploitation* I'm wary of anyone who uses the term. 
Cover your pockets, you're about to get robbed. 

> Others think revenge is fucking childish behaviour at all times.

Years ago, I might have been pissed off with this one because I'm too immature and inexperienced to see that karma works its way. You see, life always balances things out—if you emit negativity, then negativity will come back to you. And that actually happened to him because of his choice to *balance* things out, and made his ex-wife feel the pain he felt from the betrayal. 

I don't know if he respected her in the first place, but if he did—that respect was gone the moment he took *his revenge*. I'm no cheater tolerator, but like I've said, life always has ways to balance things. Like my science teacher stressed out before... every action has an equal and opposite reaction. But I guess he wasn't patient to see what the reaction so he took the matter into his hands, which ended ~~both of them~~ not only them but also their daughter in an irreversible situation. It's so unfortunate...but it's his choice.

And by the way...

> Writing is easy.

No, it mostly quite challenging for me because English isn't my first language nor my second, but I do like to write because it makes me feel free. However, it isn't most of the time *easy*, yet I'm constantly trying to learn more. 

> is wife had cheated on him and in her guilt, was just going to give him pretty much everything in the divorce. However, this wasn't enough for him and instead he went on a very public campaign to destroy the person who he had up until recently, claimed he loved.

Omg, people are children. Men can be pretty bad at this tbh - their emotional maturity is not all there. If i'm hurting, I'm going to make you hurt is such a red flag. I've lost count of messy divorces where men behave badly - not that women dont' at all, but most are men. 

I was chatting to my neighbour yesterday - she's just sold her house and can't get her ex to sign the paperwork. After having two affairs and then getting criminal charges for stalking two woman, he appealed because no way did he want to do 400 hours community service, then upped and went back to America and has disappeared and wont answer any emails even though money is there for him from house sale. She supported him through the court case and gave him benefit of the doubt and has done the right thing by him and he's just shacked up with some other woman in the states (where he's from) and is stringing her out as long as possible. I mean even the fact he couldn't keep his dick in his pants is unconscionable - but to make her life as hard as he can beggars belief. We're hoping he gets taken out into the desert and shot for whatever dodgy stuff he's done out there and she can get all his cash and his super. 

As for the other kind of fairness, I think some people are voting for the curation rewards or the likeability/wallet/personality of the person - they're not even reading the posts and it's nothing to do with percieved quality at all. That's what people say is 'unfair' and that's probably a 'fair' enough complaint. 

And yes, you're a good player on Hive with your efforts to produce quality and consistant content. I wouldn't begrudge you your rewards at all :) xx I like what @aussieninja says below - that when you or I write a blog post, we're trying to think of the value it brings to HIVE as a valid social media platform with quality content. 

These days I don't bother looking at the rewards much - it's just not worth my energy. Can't read people's minds as to what they think is 'fair' or 'unfair'. I don't even think they're using that criteria most of the time. 

I had a similar situation, my first wife cheated on me after ten years of marriage. I didn't campaign against her, I made her a very financially lucrative offer that she couldn't refuse and she agreed to give me full custody of my son.

I got what I wanted, though I had to start over financially. I took what I wanted from that relationship and moved on. It did take me another ten years to find my current wife, but after over eight years with her I am very happy. Much happier than I was with my first wife...

Your dedication to writing daily for over 7 years is amazing. I know I wouldn't be able to do that and I am a VERY consistent person...

It reminded me of the saying 
> *"Rome wasn't built in a day"*

"Writing is easy" - when you have the experince and understanding of the different situation. It does not comes easily, unless and untill you have exposed yourself to life and learn the crux. The clarity in thoughts can makes writing easy and smooth. You spend time on hive wrote some amazing piece and made some good friends and this is complstelly fair. 

But fairness in relation depends upon both the individuals mindset. Recently I heard of a divorce case, where the wife is claiming alumini for the upkeep of her parent. Even after she is employed with handsome salary. Will it be fair for the husband? wouldn't he look for some revenge? After good number of years together, once the wife gets an employment she is ready to leave her husband merely because he earns less. And now claiming for alumini. The basic concepts of relationship simply gone haywire in this case. 

Being fair is difficult. Because, as you said, it's subjective and influenced by environmental factors. For example, achieving gender equality is impossible. They have different physiological structures. When we try to achieve equality, we'll ultimately be treated unfairly.