Taking the thesis one step forward:

Could the ability to trust be a survival mechanism?  It doesn't mean being blind to whether other can be trusted on not.  This actually becomes irrelevant.

Instead, we can focus on what we can do to improve our lives/situations.  The ability to trust becomes the willingness to believe things can get better.  

We are a social species, yes.  At its highest most rarefied level, trust includes  an unquenchable desire to reach out to others and to make them part of this endeavour - even when they prove time and time again that they cannot keep their word.  Yes, trust is about -our- expectations, not those of other people.

 The desire to improve, to experiment, to try is born of the belief that change is possible.  Hope is another definition of trust.  As long as someone is able to believe in something, even if it is only his or her ability to earn rent, there's a degree of trust involved.  

At its basic level, trust drives the instinct to struggle.  Why struggle if you don't believe things can get better?  It doesn't matter what one wants or needs - food, water, money, a mate, recognition, to travel to space...whatever we do to get these involves an element of hope, a trust that change is possible.

So, really what we need to trust is ourselves and our ability to handle someone violating how we expected them to behave.

>Is that their fault?


Very good question because i do not have the answer. Has my trust been broken? No. 
But i believe people are bound to disappoint you, because if they don't they won't be human after all. 
I don't even trust myself completely, how will i then trust someone else.
Its just like you said
>Trust is a complex system that is full of a wide range of variables that are very hard to predict when they influence upon each other and as contexts and circumstances change. 




Situations and circumstances will always change and most of our decisions are based on these factors. So when giving your trust, take into cognizance that there is a possibility of it being broken. That way you save yourself a lot of heartache. 
That said, I'll wait for you to throw might light on this issue of trust.

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I look forward to reading more of your thoughts about this, as I really enjoyed this piece.I was just talking the other day with some friends about how expectations are what disappoint you, not people....It's what we expect of them. and you're right, we set certain expectations based on our own selfish desires. But how can we not? It's natural to want, to need.
And no, it's not their fault, but they probably do this with other people, too. They expect because they want...so they're not without blame. No one is.

I really, really loved this.

For the last year I have been, temporarily, living with my Father ~ my mother died a short while back, he was lonely and we had stuff to sort out. A win/win situation.

The reason I tell you this is that my father is not the man I thought he was!

I have always been close to my parents but hadn't lived with them since my early 20's.

My point here is *how can anyone truly trust anyone* when it is so easy to misinterpret someone's true character?

These days I put all my trust in my husband, Rick, and my spiritual team in the ether!

That way I can no longer be disappointed when folks fall short of my, unfair exacting standards :)

This subject is fascinating ~ a challenging read.

xox

Something I have noticed; you help, support, comfort and again help an other person. Refuse to do something once and you'll be an arse for a long long time. Sometimes people just get used to your favours and these favors become obligations and the person starts to think that you owe him/her something. And then it only needs one time when you refuse to do as they ask.. And it doesn't matter if their request was unreasonable in the first place.

I grew up thinking everyone disliked me, for who I am, so I built these walls around me to protect myself. I am extremely paranoid, and suspicious of every actions of people around me, even a mere question sets my paranoia ticking. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, every now and then, but I keep my eyes open, even when I'm sleeping.

hard to give confidence to someone, let alone the hardness of the hard person in the spar now, including family

According to me nowadays trust is very hard to come by.. So one should make sure that u get your circle tight and don't get into the trust issues later on...

That's an interesting post. in my point of view,  trust is something about attitudes when you associate a person with whom you spend a long time, you will know are they people of trust or not? related the expectations . It takes time to build trust, since you really have to know the caracteristiques of the other and have to build a close relationship with each other before you can begin to expect certain things from them

i dont trust people completely !
i trust either more or less

> It is an art form of deception and manipulation that is carefully crafted to normally satisfy the best interests of the individual over that of others. 

https://youtu.be/_dH2eiaISOM

> Again, who is behaving badly? The one who acts on their nature or the one who expects someone else to behave against their own nature?

The major reason why people often don't give their trust so easily to someone is cause of a past experience. I think limiting one's high expectation from a person will help to avoid oneself getting disappionted and we should also not shut down one out cos our instinct says so.
We should try and give everyone the benefit of doubt cos the person we trust more may be the one to break our trust and those we trust less may end up being trustworthy. I think what we ought not to trust is our instinct cos it might be misleading

Nice post thanks for sharing @tarazkp![DQmThvpucuKgVFXNCcWN6sq8um85fyjGd9B5cummZhk6pHS_1680x8400.png](https://steemitimages.com/DQmZz9wa1wvkWNmniQgQD63of8RPCpiMFsdp8jbRUUp8sdr/DQmThvpucuKgVFXNCcWN6sq8um85fyjGd9B5cummZhk6pHS_1680x8400.png)

@tarazkp
I think it depends on the situation, who's to blame for a break of trust. If i expect someone to be like I want him/her to be then i can blame myself for that. There are however social conventions established within society, if we never communicated to not follow these conventions, then the one knowing about the conventions and breaking it can be blamed for that. When we clearly communcated values/behavior and stuff and agreed on it, and someone breaks the "contract" he/she clearly is to blame. And thats why we should never blindly expect but communicate our whishes and values. I do however trust nobody completely, even not my self because i know how a humans mind and eyes can be fooled or fools themselves. I think that is a healthy thing to do in order become more objective on everything. Trust has to be gained first, but will never be on 100%. There is trust in my parents that they love me (it was there from the start of my life) but i don't trust them with everything because i know them.  There are situation i had to trust/take the risk, like when i had heart surgery. But generally i only trust in facts and validation and this also just 80%.

I do trust my family and I think so far my trust has been repayed.

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I like that this topic is raised today coz I was having a conversation with a friend and we talked extensively in trust as it cuts across all aspects of our lives, but we spoke extensively with regards to marriage and broken homes.

It was a fun conversation as he was able to convince me on the reason he has lost trust in humanity. According to him, he has been stabbed a million times in the back (I wonder why he is still alive though...lolzz). 

Well for me I don't trust anyone as well but what I am very good at doing is giving people the benefit of doubt...I will let you prove to me how trust worthy you are or how untruat worthy you are. 

It's good to give people a chance even though you don't trust them. Give them that chance and watch them closely and with that you will be able to know those you can trust and those you can't with the outcome of their actions.

excellent photography...

"I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. “ - Bill Murray.  This is a funny quote,  but there is truth to it.  It's almost a comedic take on the Philosopher [Diogenes of Sinope](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diogenes) 

> "I fawn on those who give me anything, I yelp at those who refuse, and I set my teeth in rascals."[20] Diogenes believed human beings live artificially and hypocritically and would do well to study the dog. Besides performing natural body functions in public with ease, a dog will eat anything, and make no fuss about where to sleep. Dogs live in the present without anxiety, and have no use for the pretensions of abstract philosophy. In addition to these virtues, dogs are thought to know instinctively who is friend and who is foe.[54] Unlike human beings who either dupe others or are duped, dogs will give an honest bark at the truth

I think the only sane approach is to just assume someone is going to break your trust, someone that you care about, it's only a matter of degree.  If you want to remain a social creature you just have to develop thick skinned,  decide what you can live with and what you can't in terms of others flaws.  Is the person who broke your trust is a flawed friend or an enemy is the ultimate question, and if you decide they are a flawed friend, then forgive them and move on.  

> Remember that when you place your trust in someone, it is a contract between your evaluations and expectations, not them, as they will do as they do. 

That's an interesting viewpoint. I think trust is indeed closely related to the expectations you have of someone. It takes time to build trust, since you really have to know the tendencies of the other and have to build a close relationship with each other before you can start to expect certain things from them. Trust in that sense is being sure that the important expectations will be met. Can I fault them for the moments that they break my trust? Perhaps... Perhaps I'd have to change my views on the amount of trust I can invest in our relationship, and perhaps that would redefine the relationship as a whole... If my best friend didn't for example show up on the funeral of a family-member, that would have an impact on my trust of him being there for me in times of need. I would see myself blaming him for that too... But then again, trust isn't a word with a stable, constant definition. It changes over time, and that's just how it is. 

Pretty hard topic to think about in my opinion :)

trust is complex.  It’s your own thoughts and those aren’t the truth it’s a thought you have that can easily change or be changed but never necessarily true.  You can also want to trust and that can make you think you can trust. But again thoughts aren’t facts-

I don't trust many people. I trust my family and I trust my boss to pay me. Other than that I think it's safer to only trust people who have demonstrated they are trust worthy

I easily trust people and have no reason to judge you or care less about what others say about you. Unless the particular acted below my expectation and only then i remove my trust completely