If we wish to get better results we definitely need to do things differently. Identifying areas where we need to act differently is so often the problem.  But the way I go about it is believing in the law of cause and effect. That means that for each action we take we will get a related outcome. So I watch out when I'm taking negative actions knowing it will lead to negative outcomes. Most bad areas of our lives are so because of negative actions we took in the past. So start first by avoiding the negative. It's a pretty good start. From there you can go further.

Introspective, my friend @tarazkp. Always the stoic, self-critical struggle in the face of life's challenges. Without leaving aside your assiduous combination of wry humour (‘I must have been pretty bad in my last life’), heh, heh, heh; and philosophical musings, since I've been reading you, you are culturally familiar with understated resilience. While grappling with existential doubt and the weight of persistent misfortune, you always show an underlying determination to seek meaning and improvement, a quiet echo of perseverance in the midst of adversity. You must go easy; if you cling to the pendulum, you may slip and fall.

It sounds like you have a lot more going on than I would have guessed or imagined.  I think if the things are taking up this much real estate in your mind then they are probably not something you want to ignore.  As easy as it might be to just do nothing. 

yea, talking to someone who is knowlegeable and can suggest options is all good. I was recently super depressed for a while and what helped me most, beside meds, is watching things I really enjoy.. like movies or youtube vids.. 🙂😉👍

"Random change is not likely to lead to better results " as a person may be focusing on an area that needs less attention and working on while the area that needs more attention keeps escalating and causing more damage. Whereas if the area that needs more attention is identified and worked on, it could fix the area that needs less attention by extension.

!BBH

If enough pressure is applied, there's diamonds at the end of it. We are, after all, just carbon. 

Perspective certainly helps, ad does reframing, but ultimately, the underlying elements are not illustrated better than these meme: 

![image.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/holoz0r/23xAeLMvwrC3Hy4dXip94YHJRD8GtxiFcDz5bjDU42iwAgCAJBFdJ3eZ7SP7C6utZGybP.png)

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The fact you don't want to suffer by repeatedly doing the same thing is good news. Look I'm not sure life does have any meaning beyond procreation of the species. But that's okay, that's still your role...to make a positive impact on people around you, including Small steps, so they too survive *well*. Maybe that's enough, right? Maybe searching for bigger meaning is a fools errand, our own conceit. 

> Maybe life is telling me not to bother. It is saying, "What is the point, stop caring, stop doing, just stop."

Yeh I get that pretty frequently.

> Because *random change* is not likely to lead to better results and often will do more damage than staying the same.

This is probably why people that realise that something has to change don't actually change anything.

Hope it doesn't take another four decades to figure out what to change :)

To me meaning of life basically comes down to what the Jamaican woman said in the old movie Meet Joe Black: "Take that nice picture you got in your head home with you, but don't be fooled. We lonely here mostly too. If we lucky, maybe, we got some nice pictures to take with us” 

So basically enjoy life and appreciate the small beautiful moments that we have. Sliding down the snow hill in a sled with your daughter or enjoying great time on the beach with your family. Small stuff like that is what makes life meaningful. 

Did you take enough pictures in your head before your time is up?

One of the curious things about therapy (good therapy, that is) is that the changes required evolve out of, and sometimes are integral to, the therapeutic process itself.

A bad choice may be better than not doing anything. I think not to do anything, I think the worst. Try to do something.

More optimism dude. You have as much as 1500 HBD staked with a crazy annual percentage. In many countries this is an annual salary.

In fact, I think there is no meaning of life as there is such a reality as death in the end. If life would have a meaning, it would be accumulating beautiful moments, to me. Thus, live the moment in the rest of your decades ;)