Hello my name is Nathan. I wanted the share my story about how I went from heavily self sedated in my parents basement. To owning my own business and home in the sunny state of California. Well before all the success and sun in my life today there was a young man trapped and trying anything to change his perception of his reality. His reality being a father who was slowly fading into death at the cruel hands of lung cancer. The slow decent of family financial security and the low self worth caused by intense everyday bullying from his friends and peers at school..... As anyone might imagine he was in complete and utter depression and felt like there was nothing left to do but heavily medicate himself lay in bed and hope for the pain to just go away. 
I remember spending hours in my room all alone listening to music as loud as I could just replaying the intense and harsh words from my peers over and over and over in my head.  Once school had completed and I graduated it seemed as if everything was progressively getting worse. The financial insecurity of my parents caused by my fathers inability to work because of his disease, caused us to loose out house the house I grew up. We had to move to the "bad" part of town and once there I was befriended by someone who would change my life forever in the worst way. This friend was a local drug dealer and even thought I didn't know it at that time would be the cause of my heavy everyday relationship with heroin. Soon things got bad I was stealing and sold everything I owned and everyone was begging me to get help. I found a guitarist and started singing and got a little better for a bit despite my addiction. Then one day as I was coming home late at night my father was sitting up waiting for me. No one else was awake just him sitting at the kitchen table chain smokin cigarettes despite his lung cancer fighting his own demons in his head. He called me over and started to talk to me in a way that I haven't heard before. He told me that I had to figure out what I'm doing and stop the late nights and the partying because that was exactly was brought him to where he was right now. Then he started to cry this was something I definitely never experienced before he was a strong very stoic man the "men don't cry" generation. He told me to get out of this town and follow my dream and sing for anyone and everyone that would listen.  This was extremely weird to me in every way not only because he never talked to me in this way but also because I had taken a pretty heavy dose of LSD a little earlier that night. I got to my room and i just didn't know what to do turned on some music turned on my black lights payed in my bed and stared at my wall for what seemed like forever. Then I picked up my phone and called the first treatment center I stumbled across on the Internet (I tried treatment once before but just didn't get it at that time). A few hours latter I was on a plane to California with 500$ in my pocket and a different view on life like a  complete mental change I don't know if it was the LSD or the intimate conversation with my dad. Fast forward two months into my treatment I was living in a sober living in Laguna beach I had a small dishwashing job at a local restaurant just trying to save as much as I could. I found a girl and a few musicians to help me shape my dream and moved out on my own for the first time in my life at 24 years old. I got the news of my fathers passing 6 months after I left home for the first time it was a very strange feeling to me  I knew he was sick but something in my head told me he was going to live forever he was my father my hero after all nothing could hurt him. I went home for his funeral and as I got off the plane and looked at my hometown I just knew deep down inside that my father was there with me. As I drove to my mothers I saw all the memories and all the pain I experienced in that town and I heard my father in the back of my mind say "see I told you you had to get out of this town." Fast forward a year and iv jumped from job to job all over Orange County had my share of trials and tribulations with the music industry and bands. So I decided to go into business for myself it wasn't long until it grew to support a pretty good life for me. I was so proud and happy that I finally made it I purchased my first home and found a great girl to fill my spare time with. Just know that no matter how bad something might seem to be there could be something amazing that comes out of it. I hope you liked my story. Feel free to comment and like this I would really appreciate it. Also message me if you need someone to help you through your troubles.