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Everyone goes through feeling anger, sadness, disappointment, and even frustration at some point, if not all.If negative feelings are not managed properly, they can damage relationships, impact careers, and even destroy a life. Stress or low moods can trigger the release of cortisol, a hormone that brings feelings of overwhelm. The body’s primary response to stress can lead to the heart beating quicker, blood pressure increasing, and breathing becoming more rapid. As a result, we often end up being more angry.

We know that cortisol is released during stress, but it's only natural to be angry when under stress. What matters is taking control of one’s emotions, before they get completely out of hand. If ignored, it will cause one to make regrettable choices regarding how to solve the problem.

Here is a skill I've learned throughout the years to help tame my emotions so I can actually enjoy life to the fullest.

Think of being able to isolate your emotions into separate compartments like rooms. The catch is keeping them separated at all times. At work, for instance, I can feel a hang-up bubble up at anytime but as soon as I leave the office, that room closes. Stress works similarly. While at the office, there are multiple occasions where I feel stressed due to work overload, but once I leave the premises, I simply close the door to that stressful state. At which point I am no longer feeling stressed. 

Whereas the majority of individuals incorrectly move their emotions around with them. Perhaps they will get annoyed at their spouse or children or even coworkers while driving home from work. This is known as catch up that is particularly blameful as it causes strains in relationships. Living like this would make completing mere tasks impossible along with leading a satisfied life.

As a father that has 4 kids, I am sure you also know how children can be quite annoying at times, but in my case I have also learned how to cope with it. Whenever one of my children annoys me, I focus on that specific child, and don't pass the anger to my other children. Unlike most parents, I have learned how to go into every room in a calm and relaxed manner. These rooms represent the different situations and circumstances that trigger deep emotions. Therefore, I am able to ensure that I do not pass my emotions over to other people or situations.

There's also what I call the five minutes rule to controlling emotions. The 5 minutes rule simply means not holding on to a bad feeling for more than 5 minutes. Although I have not really timed it, I have learned to let every negative feeling die with the event or situation that triggered them. I just close that room and leave the negative feelings there. I will by no means forget that something happened or that I have a certain feeling, but I will not engage those emotions again and again. 

When you use the 5 minutes rule to manage your emotions, you're actually giving them a chance to die. So if you’re feeling angry and frustrated then hold that for 5 minutes. If you feel like yelling at someone, walk away for 5 minutes. Each time you do this you’ll feel a little better and when you do this enough you’ll realize you have a better life. This is how you learn to be in control of your emotions. You give them time to die and then you realize you have more control over your life.

I've learned to switch my emotions quickly right from the time I got married. Most importantly, I've learned to avoid transferring emotion from one place to another. This ability has aided me in overcoming my failures in business and investing. It has helped me maintain an optimistic mindset. My wife also has learned to practice this skill, as well. So, there are two of us that avoid moving around the emotions from one compartment to another which has helped to improve our relationship a great deal.

We may disagree on some issues, but our negative feelings cease with the disagreement. We can gladly discuss what we are going to eat for dinner or have fun with our children the next minute. We can attend a conference in an energy-conserving way at the next minute. We can laugh at a funny video and joke about how many years we've been married that very minute. We may not agree on all things, but we can tolerate different points of view without being emotional. We can get along with the people we are related to. We can recognize our weaknesses and limitations, and we can correct them.

The image used is AI generated.

This is an entry for today's prompt in the #febuaryinleo daily writing prompts challenge.

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