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<h1>My name is Average Joe and I own myself. I can be sure I own myself through simple common sense.</h1>
<p><img src="https://image.spreadshirtmedia.com/image-server/v1/compositions/111571915/views/1,width=300,height=300,appearanceId=39,version=1472099614/average-joe-s-t-shirts-men-s-premium-t-shirt.jpg" width="300" height="300"/></p>
<blockquote>Presenting a rational argument for self-ownership in simple layman's terms where logic is basic common sense</blockquote>
<p>Hello! My name is Average Joe; people often call me Joe Sixpack, even though I don't have hard abs and my given name is actually Average. People are strange.</p>
<p>I came to a realization a while back that I own myself. It seems silly and obvious to state that when I think about it; I mean, we all understand that we're responsible for our own actions, and how could they even <em>be</em> our "own actions" if we didn't own the thing making them -- that is, ourselves? </p>
<p>Still...when this hit me I couldn't help but realize it was actually a pretty big thing to go out and say it. Once you put it like that... well, there's a whole lotta shit that becomes equally obvious, but who's got time for that?</p>
<p>I mean, it's simple; only I can make me do stuff -- sure, bad folk could threaten me so I <em>will</em> do stuff, but the one that actually does the doing is <em>me</em>. If only I can make me do stuff, and only I can know what I'm thinking then, well, this means that the only one that can claim me is <em><strong>me!</strong></em> Any body'd claim otherwise, it'd be stupid; they can't move my arm or think my thoughts for me, I have to do it!</p>
<p>But here's the part where it got really, <em>really</em> big... I don't know what you, or anybody else is thinking right now and I can't control your body with my thoughts. I know... calm down Captain Obvious... but this is big because it means there's this <em>barrier</em> truer than a Trump border wall that none of us can ever really cross.</p>
<p>Now, I'm gonna go all Billy Mays here... BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!</p>
<p>We, all us people -- humans -- we understand right and wrong. Like, we know there's good and evil even if we don't see eye-to-eye all the time on what things are which. So we <em>know</em> there's evil but to be good, good's got to be <em>true</em>, right? I don't mean like "true for you but not me" true; I mean mother-fucking-hard-as-brick <em><strong>TRUE</strong></em>.</p>
<p>So that'd mean that something that's really honestly good or bad...that'd mean it'd have to be based in <em>real</em> shit, right? Not some religion or cultural value shit. Straight up fact shit.</p>
<p>Well if I know that only I can really control and think me and only you can really control and think you then it's a <em>naturally</em> good thing that we recognize that, right? Like we know for sure that's straight up natural morals there, kinda like the Whole Foods Organic Right & Wrong... I own me and you own you.</p>
<p>And man...the implications of <em>that</em>! But who's got time for that right now? Not me!</p>
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