In this couple of months,I've realized something very important. My family and my old friends are 200km away and I didn't see them for about 4 months now. 
When your a teenager, you are running away from your family. You want to be free, you want to be independent,your life has barely begun and you want to make the most of it. You are not aware that you are not ready for independent life yet,because your parents still pay for you. Even though you think you can make a living from the money you earn from some side work you do in addition to schooling. You don’t realize that your earned money goes for alcohol, cigarettes, and the habits you have as a teenager. What about all the other costs? Food, housing, bills, schooling? We didn't even look at that and we weren't aware of what life meant at all ...


And then school ends and you can finally move on to your own. That means it’s time for a full-time job. It is very difficult to find a job in our part of Slovenia because you have to adapt to the offered jobs. That means it’s hard to get a job that you do with pleasure. Of course, you still haven’t calculated the living expenses because you still live with your parents. I am now seriously sorry for all the quarrels and ugly slander. Your parents want to prepare you for a life where these things are not given to you and for which you have to work hard. But you don't realize it yet. Life can be in your opinion, life is one big happiness where everything is given to you. And then my husband and I decided to move to a foreign country without even understanding the words German. But I was brave. I will finally be independent, I will finally be able to do what I want, without the ugly views of my parents. Of course, without the help of our parents, we would not have been able to move to Austria. Renting an apartment, all the paperwork, food ... the money we had saved wouldn't be enough for even one month. We were without car, and without bicycle. Giving money public transport wasn't an option. We needed money for food, for a dog, for rent and so much more...So how will you survive? With hard work of course. And we made it. With ups and downs. Big downs of course. Without help it wouldn't be possible for us to create a life we have today. I will always be grateful for all the help and support from parents and grandparents.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about what our life would be like if we've stayed in Slovenia. Would we've be married? Had a job that makes us happy? An apartment that is beautiful? Saved money? Money for all our habits and our hobbies? A car? One thing is clear. My health would be in question. The health care system in our country is strange. I don’t know how else to put it. You can show all the possible signs of the disease, and then they finally decide to do certain tests. I had to have an epileptic seizure in front of the doctors to start believing my husband that I really had epilepsy, otherwise they would not have admitted me to the hospital, because they concluded from my appearance, that I was intoxicated and that this was not enough to be admitted to the hospital. Although I have been admitted to this hospital in the past due to epileptic seizures. Not to mention the gastroenterology departments at all. For all my intestinal problems, they concluded that it was nothing serious and was probably just some kind of bacterium. Of course without any medical examinations. Of course, I don't mean all parts of Slovenia, but in our town health care is worse than elsewhere in Slovenia. 
Austria, on the other hand, showed me the exact opposite system. Here, doctors do their best for their patients and do all sorts of tests even though you don’t show signs of the disease and just describe them. You are not a number, you are a patient for whom they are looking for a way to treat him or at least to bring the disease into remission. Which they did with my Crohn's disease. I can say that at the moment I am really calm about all my illnesses, because I know I am in safe hands. Especially now, because I have sleep tests in a month where they will try to find out what is going on in my brain overnight.

And yes, maybe we will move back in the future, but definitely not now. I am shocked by what is currently happening in Slovenia. The system is collapsing, the prime minister is a criminal who has been in prison, constant debates in parliament, protests that many people have no interest in and are only strong through social networks, the country is divided, people are losing hope and the huge migrations have started again. But hope is not lost. The nature is beautiful, the cuisine is great and the people are friendly. All that is needed is the establishment of a political system, that will be accepted by all citizens. Is this possible?

I really wasn’t aware that I would ever miss our country, but in 4 months of isolation I came to certain conclusions. I love my family and friends, I love our places and culture that is really unique. When you’re in your hometown at least once a month, you don’t miss it. Now that we were not allowed to go to other countries, my emotions came toward. I have never been a person who can break all contact and leave behind all the past. And I also never want to be that kind of person. Things like that are important to me.

![PSX_20200616_154629.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tinabrezpike/sr08tzSj-PSX_20200616_154629.jpg)



No one knows what will happen in the future.
We work hard, looking for ways to make extra money, even with hobbies trying to make some money, especially now that my husband has attracted me with a game -Splinterlands. I never thought I would be interested in games like this, but the way the game is played and of course the card trading is just awesome. 😂
So, maybe with time, we will move back. Future is open. 

![received_586603768940714.jpeg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tinabrezpike/bsqVvwjf-received_586603768940714.jpeg)

![received_686457211931704.jpeg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tinabrezpike/FgeAILq9-received_686457211931704.jpeg)

![received_579245593024317.jpeg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tinabrezpike/9cmP25tU-received_579245593024317.jpeg)



And back to my original topic. The borders are open again and we were finally able to visit family and friends. We organized a picnic, and of course there was a lot of hugging and conversations that lasted all day and night. For some of us, life seems to be back on track.

But really only for some. I am still accompanied by the shadow of my work. I'll be writing about that in my next post. Unfortunately, for some people was this time of quarantine just too much than they can handle. 


Guys. We are strong. Of course we will never all be satisfied, but even small actions can bring something good. I think in these few months we have come to realize what community means, and what it means to stick together and fight for a better future.

*You can't always get what you want,
but if you try sometimes,well you might find...You get what you need* - The Rolling Stones

Thanks for reading and till next time. ;) 

With love, @tinabrezpike ❤