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My mom used to say: waiting and catching up are the worst things. We are waiting for the next terrorusia's attack. It will be. Russia always does this - heavy shelling once a week or once every ten days. It's probably the time it takes them to build up more missiles and hit our cities harder. It's a lie that they are shooting at military targets. They are shelling hospitals, residential areas and, of course, energy facilities. 

I will probably say a strange thing, but we are no longer afraid. A person gets used to everything. The ability to adapt is the basis for the survival of any species, humanity is no exception. We were scared in February and March. Now we are just waiting.

I seek joy wherever possible. Today I took the dogs and we went to the field. Here we can walk, because I know for sure that this field is not mined. All summer and autumn, a tractor and other equipment drove here, sunflowers grew here. Now my dogs happily run around here and play in the snow.

I love winter, I love deep white snow. It reminds me of my childhood when winters were snowy and cold. Now the climate has changed and we don't so often have snow.

The war has been going on for more than nine months. hot phase of the war. In general, it has been going on for more than eight years, in 2014 Russia attacked my country, occupied Crimea and part of the Donetsk and Luhansk regions. Then we tried to tell the whole world what happened, but no one listened to us. Now the world is awake. In any case, I hope so.

The dogs play in the snow, and I quietly walk across the field and think what awaits us. Now it is very important to continue to live, to continue to move on. It is impossible to freeze and say: I will begin to live again after the war, although it is possible to do so simply huge. Sometimes I don't want to wake up in the morning, I don't want to move. But I understand that I must not let this feeling grow, otherwise it will crush me. I tell myself: OK, get up and make yourself some coffee. Just make yourself some coffee. Just take one small step. Then another, another.

It's amazing, but when you are forced to survive, you are much more active. Adrenaline works. You count how many shells were fired at your city and you already know the time it takes the enemy to reload his guns. And you use this pause to get water or do something else. I never thought that we would have such an experience.

I often think how I will feel when we know the war is over. It would be logical to assume that we would rejoice. But I remember the moment when we learned that our army drove the Russian invaders out of the Kyiv region. I just looked in front of me and felt nothing. Nothing at all. All emotions were consumed by the struggle for survival. Then, when I saw our tanks, I cried. I cried with relief that there was no need to be afraid anymore that our military was here and they would protect us.

Perhaps today I do not seem too optimistic to you, usually I am more cheerful. It's probably tired. But I also have good news: now we have electricity for 12 hours a day. Our power engineers are just superheroes!

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