Experiencing defeat is surely bitter especially if you have tried your best but are still cut short. I had experienced it multiple times in life and there are instances wherein I feel that it is unfair.

**Now how do we handle such feelings?**

In this blog post, I will be sharing some of the stuff that I have read on the internet on how we can handle them. Please note that what may have worked for me, may not work for you as we are still separate individuals. I myself though not shown have a competitive spirit that doesn't want to acknowledge that I lost. But later in life, I learned that there are battles worth losing, and losing is part of the process to greater victories.


<center>![man-2734073_960_720.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tpkidkai/23tbRPyDL3HUxubiNDtBKqt6ghWJvQsgyJJjEENtJDNJE7ReHrTrMWvx8U7exfNSijJcM.jpg) </center>
<center>[Image Source](https://pixabay.com/photos/man-depressed-sitting-on-the-floor-2734073/) </center>


## Acknowledge your emotions

I myself always have a hard time acknowledging my own emotions or identifying them. I was tagged as a robot back then as I always shun away from such feelings. In my late twenties when I started working that is where I start to become more aware of it.

Now going back, identifying your emotions is important. Take time to acknowledge everything and think about what it means for you. You may feel either upset, angry, frustrated, devasted, or any other emotions and that is okay. Acknowledging such feelings and letting yourself experience them fully will help you cope in a healthy way.

When you have given all your best and fall short it is tempting to push down and downplay such negative emotions. This works in short term, I myself can attest to that but it will always resurface once it is triggered by a different situation or a person. You may feel at times that you are a failure again.

## Have You given yourself time to heal?

I know it is devastating, allow yourself to grieve and get used to the reality that you have right now. CRY if you must and scream if it is needed. 

Some folks will say that to feel better, you just need to go out with your friends, keep yourself busy, or party but that doesn't work in the long run. Again do not rush the process and do not force yourself to move forward if you are not ready. 

Also trying to be productive will not work thus don't force yourself to do anything productive.  Your life may be a mess right now but there's no pressure to have it together in an instant. Trying to squeeze productivity, will not work. TRUST ME. 

I have tried to work when I got a zero score in my call before and I was more prone to committing mistakes. Pressured to deliver because that is now how I work.

<center> ![mirror-3864155_960_720.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tpkidkai/23vhTrLcFygVJSu6Ft4x1oM8KNVK2YhuqPmc2yrga1frZXjEm4kAtxFvqQbByTgCDpkos.jpg) </center>
<center>[Image Source](https://pixabay.com/photos/mirror-man-darkness-sadness-3864155/) </center>
## Have You Tried Positive self-Talk?





In an article that I [read](https://sites.psu.edu/ranspassionblog/2018/10/05/talking-to-yourself-is-a-sign-of-a-higher-intelligence/) self talk may be a sign of higher intelligence.  

So you might want to consider positive self-talk perhaps? Positive statements such as "I can do this" or "I will succeed" should be used to encourage oneself. If no one believes in you, then you should be the one who should say that.

It is better to use the present tense vs the future tense as they portray different meanings. Also when you use the present tense, this puts your mindset that this is already happening and it is happening NOW versus the idea that it might happen in the future.

**This is not toxic positivity that is way too different.**

Think about the good things that recently happened in your life and what are your strengths. 


## Try to Avoid Seeing Defeat as a Failure.

There are instances wherein we did everything in our power to achieve success and still we get defeated. Personally, it creeps us right and you want to dwell on it, but cheer up man tries to think and not take it personally. 

In your own power, you can control so many possibilities and some factors stopped you from winning. 

"Let go and let God" - this has been my mantra each time that I am doing anything way beyond my scope. I still do my very best but there are times, days that it doesn't seem right.

Do not get caught up with the "what if" cycle. It is dangerous and it will hinder you from going forward. 

Instead of looking at it as a failure, recognize it as an opportunity for growth and improvement. Each time that I fail, especially at work I took note of the incorrect stuff that I did, learn from it, and be better.

## Conclusion

In some parts of life, we will win and we will lose, defeat is inevitable perhaps but what more important is we get back on track and come back prepared.