I've been an anti-vaxxer (or ex-vaxxer) for over 10 years.. My son, Aydan was vaccine injured in 2006 and diagnosed with autism in 2007.  He will be 13 next month and is still very much affected physically, mentally, emotionally, biologically, etc. etc... He is pre-verbal, suffers chronic gut dysbosis, multiple food and seasonal allergies, headaches, body aches, bed-wetting.. He has anxiety, sound sensitivity, motor planning dysfunctions, cannot write his name without help and so on... Our entire family is forever changed by the decision to vaccinate our son.

Though I didn't start off an anti-vaxxer, I was never a fan of vaccines and I didn't think people who were anti-vaccine were crazy. I just didn't understand the science and didn't want to go against my doctor for fear, I could be making the wrong choice.  I had complete BLIND faith and rather than using my common sense or listening to my intuition, I was compliant.

My Bachelor's is in writing, I began as a kid and that was what I wanted to do pre-mommy life.  When I gave up working outside the home to be a stay-at-home mom, I imagined I would return to the workforce once my kids were a little older but after Aydan got sick, I couldn't hand over his care to anyone else. I stayed home and begin writing my blog in 2009.  

By then I was an expert on autism and my blog was to be about the things I knew and the experiences we had. It was intended to have anecdotal stories about the kids, recipes, etc. Just a typical mommy blog and I would always end each story with a positive outlook, a sense of hope and triumph.  As I began to write, somehow I was injected with a truth serum and instead of cutesy mommy stuff, I wrote the truth.

Living with a severely autistic child wasn't always a picnic.. Between the head-banging, chronic diarrhea, public tantrums that would have people threatening to call CPS on me because of how out of control my child was, notes from anonymous neighbors found on my door accusing me of abusing my child because of his loud vocal stimming, followed by a visit from the police for the same reason... Since, I never found out who that neighbor was, I had my son's doctor write a letter explaining the disorder and gave the leasing office permission to share it with anyone who complained about his stimming (self-stimulatory behavior).  He explained in this letter that the strange behaviors they were witnessing were not a result of abuse or bad parenting but rather part of his disorder. However, that's not entirely accurate as it is a result of abuse.. Vaccination is abuse! It is publicly condoned and government mandated ABUSE.  And the abuse continues well after the injection.  

Aside from all that, there were constant battles with the school that would have us locked in a legal dispute for 2 years, early intervention providers and God knows who or what else.. I can't even remember anymore.. I started homeschooling him 2 years ago and try not to look back, it's like remembering a head-ache.

Anyway, as I said, I was an expert.  I read a lot, constantly researched and was a conference attending junkie.  I attended the DAN (Defeat Autism Now) conference in 2008 where Dr. Jerry Kartiznel, Dr. Jeff Bradstreet and Dr. Bryan Jepson were among a few of the expert speakers.  All of whom were doctors who had children regress into autism after vaccination.  Dr. Kartiznel who became famous for publicly appearing and co-authoring a book with Jenny McCarthy after treating her son, admitted that he not only allowed his child to be vaccinated but actually was the one who gave him the shot.  He would tell this story to help parents eliminate their guilt over allowing their child to be vaccinated, stating that while he was a doctor he still didn't know any better and had never been trained to understand vaccination.  You may have heard of Dr. Bradstreet as well after his alleged "suicide" 2 years ago but it was Dr. Jepson who affected me most.  He said that once you know the truth about vaccines, vaccine injury and healing it's not okay to keep it to yourself.  We have all been implicit in creating this problem and we are all responsible for un-doing it.  That sentiment never left me.

After people began noticing my writing, I appeared on radio shows, podcasts and eventually ran my own show with my best-friend Virstyne.  Over the years I would find it increasingly a challenge to run the show, while running a home and we ended it a couple years ago.  I continued to write once in a while and after an article reviewing the film VAXXED, Ty Bollinger asked me to be in his docu-series, The Truth About Vaccines. Last year upon it's release I did a couple more videos and essays before going back into full-time mommy life.

Around 9 months ago, Virstyne started making videos for our TrutherTalk page and several went viral.  On her urging I started making a few videos as well and blogging for our Steemit page.  I wasn't doing a whole lot or anything terribly cutting and as a result wasn't receiving a ton of traction.  On a whim I decided to take my 1000s of hours of research on vaccines to make a few short, quippy videos intended to be fun and informative.  Over the years, Virstyne and I had been so desensitized to pro-vaxxers psychotic hysteria that I didn't bother to water anything down or try to gingerly tip-toe around the subject and decided to call this series 'VACCINES ARE BULLSHIT' and in the first video, I went after the holy grail of pro-vaccine arguments... Polio.  I expected there to be some vitriol and figured I'd heard it all before.  Virstyne and I thought any new subscribers to our channel who didn't realize we were anti-vax would just un-subscribe and bounce. But boy, did I receive a refresher course in how nasty this thing can get.   

Many pro-vaxxers who claim that vaccines save lives have absolutely no problem whatsoever threatening the life of anyone who disagrees.  We've been told 'I hope you die from a vaccine preventable disease' probably a couple hundred times.  People have told me that they hate me, that I should be 'silenced', that I should have my children taken away, someone told Virstyne they wanted her to be killed in a terror attack, we've been called murders and told that the blood of children is our hands and on and on.. 

When I first started talking about this, I had no clue that saying my son was vaccine injured would result in the threatening of my life or his or insulting my child, calling him a fat retard.. No joke.. That is an actual comment I've received more than once.. Initially I figured people would want this information, maybe they just didn't know and wanted to protect their children. While that element is out there and that is who this information can benefit, the pro-vaccine gestapo is perfectly comfortable with destroying your life to protect their beliefs in vaccination.  

But having been at this for 10 years, I knew this fact and had lost my patience long ago.  I don't know how you sit on the fence as you bare witness to what I'm certain will go down as the worst holocaust in human history.  People like to throw a tin-foil hat on you when you say vaccines are designed for eugenics but how do you explain Kenya finding sterilants in their vaccines SEVEN times?  And in the Philippines, Argentina, Mexico.. The third world is dying from malnutrition, lack of sanitation and clean water, so the first world shows up with vials of poison.. 

https://www.vaccinationinformationnetwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/50-bill-gates-vaccines-Copy.jpg

And the first world isn't doing so hot either, how many diseases are household words that 10-20 years ago, you had never heard of or maybe didn't even exist? Most of us grew up bringing peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to school and now half the kids in class are gluten intolerant while the other half will go into anaphylaxis shock from the peanut butter and not one can tolerate the sugar from the jelly without turning ADHD.. Oh or maybe it's the phenols.. I almost forgot people who have been eating high-phenol foods for a million or so years are now phenol sensitive... I mean, come on.. How many babies die within 24-72 hours after receiving DTaP vaccine before people go, 'oh, shit.. this might be killing babies'?  If you believe the official story vaccines are only guilty of being the most common cause of 'coincidence'.  

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/5c/f8/6a/5cf86af4be7a535e8854a7b65f087deb.jpg

So my video attacking their most holy of holy religious beliefs, they like to call 'science', the polio argument summoned the devil and I got burned once again.  The initial response had been mostly positive but as it must have found it's way to some 'skeptics are us.. I will die/kill in the name of science...' blog, page, group, whatever.. around 24 hours later I became inundated with the usual threats.  At first I just rolled my eyes but once the threats turned to my children and to contact CPS, I decided to remove the video from youtube.  I have no care what these people think of me whatsoever nor do I concern myself with the fact that they would love to see me in a public square with a noose around my neck but I don't work so hard to protect my children from all of this, only to put them in harms way from a pissed off, cheeky, 6 minute youtube video.  If it were just me, I would gladly call upon my Scottish ancestry, summon my inner William Wallace (Mel Gibson style) and cry 'medical freedom' to the bitter end but it isn't just me and I have to consider my family's safety.    

http://www.ededition.com/blogpics/braveheart.jpg

I could keep going and make videos a bit less antagonistic, something like 'I'm not trying to judge or anything but if you could just murder babies a little less.. that'd be great.'  

https://i.pinimg.com/474x/4c/da/af/4cdaaf536418d8a9e7342aa7dbfdeeba.jpg

But honestly, I tried that tactic too and it really doesn't make a difference.  They say show me the 'science' and when you do, they say it's the wrong kind.. or not true.. or debunked.. or not from a reputable source.. You show them Suzanne Humphries, 'Dissolving Illusions' book with 1000s of scientific and historical citations, they say, 'she's a liar.. she's a con.. she's not a real doctor... she's cherry picking..'  You show them all the other doctors who are anti-vaccine, they say 'they're a quack, they're fraud, they're just trying to make money...'  You show them the vaccine insert where the listed side effects include everything from allergies to autism to death and they say.. 'those are extremely rare.. ' Or they just flat-out deny it's true.  You show them the data that disease outbreaks are occurring in almost entirely vaccinated populations, 'they say it's because of the 1-2 percent that are un-vaccinated..'  What are you supposed to say to that?  How do you reason with someone who continues to believe an un-vaccinated person is giving a vaccinated people disease?  Uhmmm... didn't you get the vaccine, so you wouldn't get the disease? 

https://heartruthblog.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/vaccineworked.png

Like, huh? 

And autism?? Oh, just forget about that one.. Never mind the 145 scientific publications collected by Ginger Taylor showing a connection, never mind the CDC scientist admitting it, never mind the Danish doctor who wrote the paper saying 'Vaccines don't cause autism' stole millions of dollars in research money and became a wanted fugitive and the CDC still uses his studies.. For reals guys.. That's like, no joke... And the millions of people all over the world saying it happened before their eyes.. Oh, they want you dead people.. How dare you..  The best you will get is that they may say it's better to have autism than the measles.. 

https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/1200/1*kM9k5qzRP9YOgPmz1udT6w.jpeg

For you baby-boomers out there who contracted the measles, don't bother trying to wrap your head around it, it will only make your brain hurt.

So that's it.. hands up.. you guys win.. Go ahead and say I'm in my own bubble or living in an echo chamber or all the other things they say after I block them for sending me and my children death threats.  I'm not saying I'm perfect and never threw back an insult or sarcastic remark but I never once wished a vaccine injury on a pro-vaxxer! I have never threatened anyone, insulted their children or said I wished death pr disease upon them.

So for now, I will leave the shouting at roof tops and return to the quiet mommy life.  The truth is, I love the quiet mommy life. I have done this many times before, for no other reason than I wanted to spend all my time with my family.  I find the most contentment and happiness when I spend my days in the kitchen or at the playground.  If I had stuck with the recipes and little anecdotes, I probably wouldn't have seen this dark world of hate and would have been perfectly happy.  I didn't tell the truth to be happy, I did it because I felt it was the right thing to do.  At the end of the day, however, I leave the judgment of those knowingly peddling this evil to God. I ask him forgiveness for being a cheeky, smart-ass and pray for the strength to continue being the best wife, mother, daughter, friend and healer I can be.  

Vaccines are Bullshit: Polio Argument! https://d.tube/v/truthertalk/1vd40839

Doctors on Vaccines: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Rp9YNMNlxQ&list=PL7KZeyAZWHq4DohjWACo7d6D3HLMH985d

Vaccines are Bullshit Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRVOArt9718&list=PL7KZeyAZWHq5lnhc94EmLXzkH2kK4KLvH

The Vaccine Injured: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsLuR3X6cpg&list=PL7KZeyAZWHq7E-E9A8WzC4ePvlz8OQbXP

Autism in the Century of Self (Including Self): http://aydansrecovery.blogspot.com/2011/04/autism-in-century-of-self-including.html
Autism Moms are the new Salem Witches!: https://aydansrecovery.wordpress.com/2015/02/25/autism-moms-are-the-new-salem-witches/

#hearthiswell
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#cdcwhistleblower
#vaxxed

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