I Spent the Day in Bed by vincentnijman

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hive-120078 · @vincentnijman · May 15 '21 (edited)

$6.73

I Spent the Day in Bed

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iL_-GwbEP4g

##### I didn't actually spend the day in bed but this song by Morrissey, who used to be the front man of the legendary band The Smiths, in the 1980s, really hits home, every time I hear it.

Even more, since last year. No need to explain this.

I suggest you watch the video, with the scrolling lyrics and sing along if you feel like it.

In all honesty, spending the day in bed - unless I have no choice and feel too sick to get up - seems to be impossible for me.

Even though getting out of bed is still somewhat of a struggle on some days, once I get out of bed, I usually don't get back in before bed time and if I do there's often a feeling of guilt attached to that.

**My Dad's Depression**

I just thought of the "why?" behind this and realized that it must have to do with my father's 25 years of depression ( that he finally seems to have overcome, at the age of 70 ), that I have been witnessing from nearby since I was in my early teens.

My dad often spent days at a row in bed, not being able to muster the energy to get out, while my mom took care of him, urging him to go out, go on a walk, get some fresh air and so on, often to no avail, until he felt slightly better again and got out of bed.

This used to be called 'being sick' for a long, long time. It was always my mom who had to call my dad's office to inform them that my dad was ill / sick and couldn't get to work. We didn't really talk about depression at home.

Having this depressed man as a father figure didn't help my confidence. It also strengthened my believe that working life / office live wasn't fun and you needed to focus on things, jobs, et cetera that felt good.

I hardly ever held a job and often felt bad at work, no matter how many jobs I tried. Getting out of bed early to travel to work was almost always a struggle.

Luckily, I don't have to deal with this any longer, as I decided to quit my last job in 2016 ( aged 35 ) and swore to never work for a boss ever again.

Having a tendency toward depression myself, even though I've never been labelled 'depressed' and thus not received any treatment or medicine, I usually do whatever I can to not end up in bed, not wanting to turn into what my dad became in his mid 40s. For your information, I will hit 40 in October.

I still struggle quite a lot but I am doing way better than years ago. Part of me wishes that I could actually spend a day in bed without a feeling of guilt attached to it, or even spend a day on the couch reading a book without feeling like I need to get out and be productive but, in a way, it's exactly this behavior ( the opposite of what my dad used to do during his depression ) that prevents me from feeling worse.

I spent

**Half a Day on the Couch**

Today I actually spent a couple of hours on the couch, with a blanket. I guess I spent half of the time on my laptop and the other half on my E-reader, reading some pulp, for a change ([The entertaining Monster Story 'Saurian'](https://peakd.com/hive-155350/@modernzorker/horror-review-saurian-by-william-schoell-1992-leisure), recommended by @modernzorker).

It's mid afternoon, cloudy weather that feels colder than it actually is. As I haven't gone out today and moved little, I am not really getting warmed up. It also doesn't help that I don't have any fire wood ( yet ) to get the 'salamandre', as we call a 'wood burner' in Portugal, going.

I am not complaining though. Warm clothes, a warm blanket ( that my twin sister brought two days ago - all bedding was left in the garden to grow fungus and possibly arms and legs in the near future, thanks to the previous tenants ), coffee, home made soup and tea.

**It's all about Balance**

In an hour or so, I will make up for the lack of exercise and do what my dad didn't manage to do on his difficult days: I will walk for half an hour to an old concrete football field. We are having weekly meet ups there with a bunch of friends ( both adults and kids ) to kick some balls ( and kick ass! ). I am not feeling depressed today but I also know that I will feel a whole lot better if I go on a walk, meet a bunch of friendly people and exercise, so I'm looking forward to countering half a day of 'laziness' with the polar opposite.

This has become somewhat of a free write. I am sure many of you can relate to this one way or another and I am curious to hear your answer to this question:

##### Do you ever spend a day in bed / on the couch - when you're not sick - and, if so, how do you feel about that? Can you do this without a guilty conscience?

<BR>Now let me end this with the lyrics of the song by Morrissey that inspired today's writing:

"Spent The Day In Bed"

Spent the day in bed
Very happy I did, yes
I spent the day in bed
As the workers stay enslaved
I spent the day in bed
I'm not my type, but
I love my bed
And I recommend that you

Stop watching the news!
Because the news contrives to frighten you
To make you feel small and alone
To make you feel that your mind isn't your own

I spent the day in bed
It's a consolation
When all my dreams
Are perfectly legal
In sheets for which I paid
I am now laid
And I recommend to all of my friends that they

Stop watching the news!
Because the news contrives to frighten you
To make you feel small and alone
To make you feel that your mind isn't your own

Oh time, do as I wish
Time, do as I wish
Oh time, do as I wish
Time, do as I wish
Oh time, do as I wish
Time, do as I wish
Oh time, do as I wish
Do as I wish

I spent the day in bed
You can please yourself
But, I spent the day in bed
Pillows like pillars
Life ends in death
So, there's nothing wrong with
Being good to yourself
Be good to yourself for once!

And no bus, no boss, no rain, no train
No bus, no boss, no rain, no train
No bus, no boss, no rain, no train
No emasculation, no castration
No highway, freeway, motorway
No bus, no boss, no rain, no train
No bus, no boss, no rain, no train
No bus, no boss, no rain, no train

[Source AZLyrics](https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/morrissey/spentthedayinbed.html)

---

[I spent the day in Bed by Morissey - source](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iL_-GwbEP4g)

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@bulldog-joy · May 15 '21

Not really because of the dogs but depressions...can sing a song about that as well ;).

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@vincentnijman · May 17 '21

I know you can ( sing that song ) and I sure believe that a dog might help. 

Now I think of it, our dog - that I grew up with - passed away not too long after my dad got depressed and my parents didn't have another dog for 15 years or so. They got a similar one - a border collie - 10 years ago. I'm sure it helps and has helped my dad somewhat, whether it's the company or the daily walks.

Big hug!

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@bulldog-joy · May 17 '21

$0.05

> it's the company or the daily walks.

Both, dogs are the mirror of our souls and their unconditional love is the most healing thing. They reflect us and make our deepest inside visible. When there is a bond they save us. My dogs and especially my Molly have accompanied me through my darkest days and it is because of them that I write with you now.

Molly endured a lot and I am so proud of her that she did. I felt guilty for the longest time after realizing in what state I was in, but if she wouldn't have been there it would have been even worse.

👍 vincentnijman

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1 reply

@drrune · May 17 '21

$0.04

I quit my last formal job in 2019 (a news outlet, as it turns out)) at 34, and also vowed never to work for a boss again. It's been working for me too, precisely because I don't stay in bed. The song's really nice and all the more interesting because of the perspective I've come to have about the news. However, it fails to mention a crucial detail: living this freely and openly requires discipline. Staying in bed isn't an option most of the time, hahaha.

I'm really glad to know that your dad overcame his angst. Many blessings to you both!

👍 vincentnijman

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@vincentnijman · May 17 '21

Nice to see these parallels between us.

> However, it fails to mention a crucial detail: living this freely and openly requires discipline. Staying in bed isn't an option most of the time, hahaha.

True that. I guess we can't put everything inside one single song ;<)

> I'm really glad to know that your dad overcame his angst. Many blessings to you both!

Thank you! I am glad he's still with us as he has had a lot of medical issues in the last 12 years or so.

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@justinparke · May 16 '21

$0.03

Well, I think things will only keep improving for you at the new place. I do need to know why the wood burner is called a "salamander" in Portugal. Perhaps it is shaped liked one?

<center>![](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/justinparke/23tGLtGG5dNNZiT1Bw5SpU5G91MheD1hWULAARv6fMDyxLH7R3RmjijbeMLw8Hk6Taktc.png)<br><sup>**@NaturalMedicine** supports wellness of body, mind, soul and earth on HIVE.<br>Come say hi via [**Lotus Chat**](https://naturalmedicine.app/lotuschat/) or drop by our [**Hive Community**](https://peakd.com/c/hive-120078/created) - we'd love to have you!</sup></center>

---
<center>Posted on [NaturalMedicine.io](https://www.naturalmedicine.io/@justinparke/qt7o3b)</center>

👍 vincentnijman

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@vincentnijman · May 17 '21

$0.15

I am not completely sure but I can tell you that there's so called 'fire salamanders' out here, that like to hide in piles of wood, among other places. It isn't logical though that a wood burner would be named after those reptiles though haha!

👍 justinparke

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@modernzorker · May 16 '21

$0.07

I'm fortunate in that I can *usually* spend a day lounging around doing nothing but reading without feeling guilty in the slightest. Exceptions are if I promised to get something done, meet with somebody, or I've already done it once in the past week or so.

Writing and reading are my panacea, the almost sure-fire cure-all for what ails me. In my twenties, I used to think people who laid around and did nothing were lazy. Now that I'm in my forties, it's a different story: I actually need that time to decompress and de-stress (especially working retail, and especially doing so for the last year during a pandemic).

I spent three months unemployed last year when my workplace shut down, and I can't tell you how *grand* it felt after about three weeks to realize I basically had a short summer vacation for the first time in twenty-five years. If that's what retirement feels like, then all the more reason to keep saving and ensure I get there sooner rather than later.

Thanks for tagging me in on this, Vincent. I hope you're enjoying Saurian!

👍 vincentnijman

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@vincentnijman · May 17 '21

Saurian is indeed pretty entertaining. A nice change of pace and subject matter from my usual reading. I should really read more monster pulp ;<)

> I'm fortunate in that I can usually spend a day lounging around doing nothing but reading without feeling guilty in the slightest.

Amazing!

I might have had that skill in the past. I have been reading loads, since I learnt how to hold a book.

>  In my twenties, I used to think people who laid around and did nothing were lazy. Now that I'm in my forties, it's a different story: I actually need that time to decompress and de-stress

I get it. As I will be hitting the big 4 0 soon, I might still get there haha!

I hope you will be able to 'retire' sooner rather than later so you can spend even more time reading and writing without any guilt attached to it!

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@naath · May 21 '21

$0.05

I have also felt like your father, I have depression and I take my medicine for it. Some days are hard others not so much, but I try to keep going because that's what my heart tells me. I hope you and your dad can be better, I send you a big hug.🤗

👍 vincentnijman

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@vincentnijman · May 21 '21

Thank you for reaching out. I am doing pretty good these days but had to seriously change my life and move to another country for it ( and am working on myself daily to keep it up ). 
My dad is doing alright too these days :^)

I wish you all the strength and good vibes you need. You are not alone.

Un abrazo fuerte desde Portugal,

Vincent

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@naturalmedicine · May 15 '21

$0.05

I can relate to this, I have always carried this guilt around, if I spend time being 'idle'. Now being a mum, I never get to have time to spend in bed, even when I am sick I have to push on, but there are certainly times where I could but then the guilt sets in.
Thank you for sharing this part of your story with us, it is crazy how much our parents shape our lives, how there actions are ingrained in our being and effect us in so many ways. 
I do hope you find the courage to take more time for yourself in which to just do nothing. Much love to you Vincent xxx

Curated for #naturalmedicine by @trucklife-family. Come join us in in our new LOTUS CHAT - anyone can join, even without a HIVE account! Check it out [here](https://naturalmedicine.app/referrals/). Did you know that you can [earn a badge](https://hivebuzz.me/@naturalmedicine) from @hivebuzz for posting about #mentalhealthawareness? Read more details [here](https://peakd.com/mentalhealth/@naturalmedicine/earn-a-new-badge-on-hive-buzz-shine-light-on-mental-health-issues)! ![divider.fw.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/naturalmedicine/23tGLtGG5dNNZiT1Bw5SpU5G91MheD1hWULAARv6fMDyxLH7R3RmjijbeMLw8Hk6Taktc.png) <div class = "pull-left"> https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/naturalmedicine/fF7suT6j-CIRCLE150.png </div> We encourage content about health & wellness - body, mind, soul and earth. We are an inclusive community with two basic rules: *Proof of Heart (kindness prevails) & Proof of Brain* (original content). Our [website](https://naturalmedicine.io/welcome) also rewards with its own Lotus token & we'd love you to join our community in [Discord](https://discord.gg/USCMjR2). Delegate to @naturalmedicine & be supported with upvotes, reblog, tips, writing inspiration challenges for a chance to win HIVE and more. Click [here](https://hive.vote/) to join the #naturalmedicine curation trail! <sup>We also encourage you to follow our sister accounts, @lotusshares and @uplotus for announcements and reblogs.</sup>

👍 vincentnijman

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@vincentnijman · May 17 '21

> Thank you for sharing this part of your story with us, it is crazy how much our parents shape our lives, how there actions are ingrained in our being and effect us in so many ways.

Hear hear. Luckily it's not all bad stuff, there's good inherited things too.

I knew you could relate to this and wish you manage to find a way to get rid of the guilt to relax and love yourself unconditionally too

Un grande abrazo!

<sub>my mom follows my blog. Just not sure about the comment section haha</sub>

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@rebeysa85 · May 17 '21

$0.04

Sometimes I struggle with those thoughs storming in my mind driving me mad, becouse It is really hard to feel like you can't make it. But eventually I find the strength to snap out of it and look for something to hold on to. And I think to myself "you shouldnt feel guilty for that time where you feel like everything is so overwhelming that it is better to jump on the bed or the couch and disappear". The thing to have in mind it's exactly what you do, try to make up for the time you feel you lost, go out and take a walk, meet with some friends, enjoy yourself.

👍 vincentnijman

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@vincentnijman · May 17 '21

Thank you for sharing your story with us. It happens to the best of us, us humans beings and our complicated brains often don't made life easier :>)

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@riverflows · May 16 '21

$0.03

In a million years, I am not going to torture myself listening to Morrissey. 

But I hear you loud and clear. You just gotta keep ahead of it sometimes - because to wallow is worse. But sometimes resting and laying about is actually doing something as well - I'm getting better at it. 

That must have been so tough growing up with a Dad like that. I'm glad he's over it  now though. Depression is so, so hard.

👍 vincentnijman

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@vincentnijman · May 17 '21 (edited)

> In a million years, I am not going to torture myself listening to Morrissey.

Haha! Seriously? Even if you don't like his usual stuff or didn't like the music of The Smiths, I dare you to give this song a listen. You might actually like it.

> But sometimes resting and laying about is actually doing something as well - I'm getting better at it.

True that and glad to hear you get better at it. I am training myself to get there too. I am sure I rocked at it as a kid ( who loved to read ). Later the serious overthinker took over, I guess. Getting back to (re-awakening) the kid inside of me though so who knows...

> That must have been so tough growing up with a Dad like that. I'm glad he's over it now though. Depression is so, so hard.

Probably even harder for him but I was the kid and he was the adult ;<)

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@riverflows · May 18 '21

I know the bloody song mate, I can't stand the miserable f**ker. 

Yeah, I dont think depression makes you rational.

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1 reply

@ryivhnn · May 16 '21

$0.03

Why on earth would you ever feel guilty for taking a rest XP 

Also feeling like you need to be productive every waking second is equally as bad XP

Only times I've ever spent days in beds is when I've been sick and sleeping or have a lot on mny mind, I generally get too bored otherwise and would much rather be drawing XD

<div class="pull-right">https://technonaturalist.net/sites/default/files/styles/sensible_display/public/art/2019/09/heartfyn_0.png?itok=QHDoN0HE</div>

👍 vincentnijman

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@vincentnijman · May 17 '21

Haha! I guess you were sarcastic here :<)

Bed is boring for you? I guess I get that.
Then again, you could try drawing in bed, like @anafae tends to do

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@ryivhnn · May 18 '21 (edited)

$0.05

Only a little bit for a change, I do know way too many people who do feel guilty about having a rest or taking me time (even when they desperately need it and know they desperately need it) or aren't otherwise productive every waking second x_x strangely they burn out worse and more frequently than I do.

I find it gets boring when you're not sleepy and you've run out of stuff to process/think about.  Then I want to do stuff XD

oh ps - I can't draw in bed, too much computer equipment, and I tend to draw rather purposefully so I'd get too annoyed with using a sketchbook ^_^;

👍 vincentnijman

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@unbiasedwriter · May 15 '21

$0.03

I would definitely love to spend some time on the couch... after getting my second shot of Covid vaccine, I actually had an "excuse" to just lie in bed for a day, so I did! But, to be honest, since you love to read, then I would like to recommend the following book to you - it is both about exercising, depression, and so much more - awesome reading: https://www.amazon.com/Real-Happy-Pill-Power-Moving/dp/151072298X?tag=search0ce-20

👍 vincentnijman

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@vincentnijman · May 17 '21

Cheers for the link. It sounds like something I have read or might be interested in. Although I usually prefer to read fiction or listen to these kind of ( self help / self improvement type books in an audio version )

I hope you find a legit way to spend more time on the couch soon. We all deserve to do this, every now and then, without feeling guilty!

The shift toward working at home, that is taking place all over the world, might help with this.

Also, somewhat similar content, a book that I own / owned and really enjoyed was Zen and the Art of Walking. You might want to look up that title if you aren't familiar with it yet.

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