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*Is it a continuing struggle
or do I struggle to continue?*

Probably the latter. 
Otherwise I would have given up already, 
as I prefer to focus on things I enjoy, if I have a choice 
and I ~~usually~~ do.

It feels like it's about time to continue [The Monster of Disco](https://peakd.com/creativity/@vincentnijman/the-ultimate-guide-to-the-monster-of-disco-and-the-other-monsters).

*I guess.*

Or maybe not.
After all, I am just not feeling it.

So perhaps that means that I should shove that project to the side, for a while.

<sub>It might actually just *not* be the right time. 

In that case, I have at least one other project [A Book in At Least 6 Languages - For Cool Weirdos Like Me](https://peakd.com/hive-181017/@vincentnijman/a-book-in-at-least) to work on.

That's a good thing.

### Almost funny

It’s almost funny, how one of the main reasons that made me start my book project: *The Monster of Disco ( and the other monsters )*, 
has been withholding me from continuing it, for quite some time now.

I 'blamed' this break, the struggle to focus or to get back into creative mode on outer circumstances: moving house, family, the weather, all the drama in the world and so on and so forth, but - if I’m really honest 
<sub>and I am most of the time</sub> 
all of these factors aren’t the actual reason. 

No, it might very well be what I coined *'the other monsters'* ( the voice(s) of resistance, negative nellies etc ) inside of our heads/mind that are sabotaging me, over and over again.

I remember this being called 'resistance' in a book on writing/creativity that I have forgotten the name of. It is basically the voice in our head that tells us to not do the things that would make us feel good/better ( that we often end up listening to, even though we know better ). 

About a week ago, another book called “The Creative Act”, that I (not) coincidentally discovered on my E-reader, the night before, made me come to this much needed insight.

That the other monsters might be sabotaging me.

Rick Rubin, apparently a well known music producer ( not that that matters, if you ask me ), sure seems to get the creative process ( and thus people like me ) and the psychology, daily life and struggle of a true creative.

I relate to a lot that he’s describing and it sure helps how super short this book’s chapters are ( even for a voracious reader like me ). 'Cause let’s be honest, most of us have the focus of a goldfish, these days, myself included.
<sub>albeit a hyper-intelligent, top notch goldfish</sub> 

Also, the above goes for most of the time. The times that  I’m not in hyper focus, manic creative mode, the other end of the spectrum. When the latter happens, it's an entirely different story.

Anyhow, let's see if I can focus a bit on my creative process, once again. I am too young - and too restless - to just 'retire' and do nothing. 

<sub>this one is for you @kesityu.fashion  ;<)</sub>