![IMG_9225.JPG](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/vincentnijman/NpoZTZ8F-IMG_9225.JPG)


This is the table that I have been creating on, in the last couple of weeks or possibly months. I like it to be messy ( my art table that is ). This piece of furniture that is more than a table to me, is also in use whenever Miko and Yumi, my niece and nephew are coming over. Aged 7 and and almost 5, they love to create and I love to create with them. 

At the lower left corner, there's a sneak peak at / first draft of what will be the cover of formerly @whatamidoing , now @selfhelp4trolls ' upcoming novella *Confessions of the Damaged 1.1*. 

More on that exciting project here in [Guerilla release of my first novel](https://peakd.com/hive-181017/@whatamidoing/guerilla-release-of-my-first-novel)

Talking with him about this project, our collab and my first gig as an illustrator for someone else was just what I needed these days.

I have been kind of all over the place lately, mentally as well as physically amd often feel quite drained. It's like a year of sleep is needed. 

It seems like every day is another tide ( eb or flood ). In fect it feels like it goes like this: eb, flood, eb, flood, eb, flood, etc, where eb is feeling low and flood is feeling high energy. 

I guess I should learn to surf the waves a little more, instead of being in the water and letting them roll over me on half of the days. 

Today, I listened to an amazing podcast, recommended by the lovely @riverflows and one message that really stood out was: 

> It's tiring to always try to find balance. I gave up to do so.

Or something along those lines.

I tend to think I always need to find balance but I am usually either on a high or a low and there doesn't seem to be much of a middle way haha. I should try to roll with the waves, go with the flow a little more. Or perhaps I should give up the trying all together.

Times are pretty ( energy ) heavy it seems and it doesn't help that many of us feel like we ( have to ) carry the weight of the world on our shoulders these days. In fact, it makes it very hard to focus on the things that we can do to make the world a slightly better place, by being the best version of ourselves that we can be. 

I believe that was another message in that beautiful podcast by @ofsedgeandsalt that can be found here: [Sarah Galving of House of Yore on the need for madness and chaos medicinein our culture](https://www.naturalmedicine.io/herbalism/@ofsedgeandsalt/new-ground-shots-podcast-episode-54-sarah-galvin-of-house-of-yore-on-the-need-for-madness-and-chaos-medicine-in-our-culture#@littlehyper-nm/qouehz). I highly recommend it.

I hope those of you who are reading this are doing well, under the circumstances. Life isn't necessarily easy but it also doesn't need to be a constant struggle ( yeah, I'm talking to myself too )

Try to keep focusing on the things that you can actually control. I have no doubt you have a unique skill set that can brighten up the world just a little. 

Stay creative and keep expressing yourself. After all, expression is the opposite of depression ;<)

A big hug from Portugal,

Vincent