<div class="text-justified">My friend, I am tired. Every part of me wants to lie down and forget for a moment that today is another day that is slipping through my fingers like these black rosary beads, my thumb is stroking feverishly.</div><br>

<center>![photo-1506716442075-1e2e0e5b1256.jpeg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmeqSNXwGj5YpKfSgSA5bFSyAPoSp6D9zvhi9gZiF8CYGr/photo-1506716442075-1e2e0e5b1256.jpeg)</center><center><sub>*[Photo by Tim Foster on Unsplash.](https://unsplash.com/photos/wPXBkZ-Pxjw)*</sub></center>

<div class="text-justified">I am in church, seeking God's face, my eyes locked within me, roaming,  searching, for some sort of light, a kind of hope, something, anything, to cling to, to believe in, but like yesterday when I searched, there is nothing but dusty memories there.</div><br> 

<div class="text-justified"> Last night, I saw the movie 'Joy' featuring the beautiful Jennifer Lawrence and the movie asked a question that I have asked myself over the years, again and again;</div><br>

*What happened to your dreams, young man? What happened to all the plans you used to make for tomorrow? Why has tomorrow not come?* Questions that I could not answer then and still can't answer now. 
***
<div class="text-justified">I have let so much go in my life, and it is easy to say that i should not dwell in the past but there comes a time in a life when you are forced by situation to look back, to seek and possibly find the fork, the turn, the divergence, that moved you away from a different life than the one you are living now. You need to do this because you want to find who you used to be before life became a job, bad sex, school fees, rent, mortgage, medical bills, and a marriage that is standing on spit and gum.</div><br>

***
<div class="text-justified">I am older now, growing bald. I have a pain on my right side which I cannot fathom. I can no longer play ball or dance as I used to. I can't run for long as much as I want to and I don't sleep too well anymore. I have battled addictions most of my adult life and in some ways, I am no different in my battle from yesterday. My faith is a messy thing that even I do not understand. I do not know how to maintain or make relationships with people. I do not have a plan set in stone, a plan that I am completely convinced about. I am dying yet I feel like I have never lived.</div><br>

<div class="text-justified">There are so many things that I have pushed forward, thinking I will always have the time to do them and now I can't because, though the will is there, the body is no longer what it used to be. I am now on a race against the clock, trying to get things done before this body folds up on me.</div><br>

<div class="text-justified">But it would have been better if I had done all that I had said I would do, when I needed to have them done. I should not have procrastinated on writing my collection of poetry and publishing or starting the home lessons that I had printed leaflets for, leaflets that still lie in a bag unused till today.</div><br>

***
<div class="text-justified">Despite this though, as long as there's life, there's hope. I still have dreams. Life is too short to waste. Every time should be used judiciously. Your time should not be a cause of regret but of satisfaction. I am still trying to find my way, to maximize all of my dreams and aspirations with the little time I have left. I will not go wondering if I left something undone. I will leave with a smile of satisfaction on my face. I am still going to publish that book and run that home lesson. I will not rest until it is done, I have procrastinated enough.</div><br>

<div class="text-justified">What are you waiting for? Go about getting your dreams a space in your schedule and set about turning them into reality. There's no time like now to start. Don't wait until your bones are brittle and your eyesight has failed before you set out to turn your dreams into reality. Pursue that dream while hope is still young and brave. Stay safe.</div><br>

#### ©warpedpoetic.