Take it or leave it, breakups suck. Breakups can cause so much emotional meltdown, whether you are the one that quit the relationship or the other way around and that is the reason it is important to know how to handle and get over it before it turns out to have a negative effect on your life. Breakups is one of the major source of pain in life because it has to do with letting go of the one you once shared your time and a lot of memories with. Breakups, if not well handled can lead to mental health issues and other health issues.
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Breakups are processed differently by different people. Some people prefer to speak up about their feelings by sharing with friends or close relatives, while some other people only need to be left alone. One thing about breakup is that stirs a feeling of grief which is likened to losing someone to death and it can be expressed in denial, anger, loneliness and depression. These feelings are not only felt by the person that was dumped but also by the person who broke up with the other person, in other words, the feeling of anger, depression and loneliness that comes with breakup is felt on both sides. Nevertheless, it may differ in some cases where the person that initiated the breakup is feeling relief instead of grief.
It is important to note that no matter how you feel or what you feel, be it grief or relief, feelings don't just go away - they have to processed. So, how are feelings processed? The best way to really understand and process what you are feeling is to slow down and really ponder on what you are going through. Feelings don't last forever but you must not suppress or deny it if you don't want it to come up in ways that may be detrimental to you.
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In order to get over breakups quickly you will need someone to talk to freely about how you are feeling and even cry if it get to the point. These person could be a friend, loved one or even a professional such as a therapist. It is very helpful and healthy when you have someone around to listen to you. Be sure the person will respect your boundaries and keep all you purge out in confidence. Knowing that someone is listening to you and feeling your pains makes it easy for you to get over the situation as quickly as possible.
In the same vein, if you are not someone who would like to confide in other people about what you are experiencing in your life you may write down all you have passed through and you are currently passing through in form of a letter. In this letter purge out every emotion that you would have wish you have talked to someone about without holding nothing back. You can either burn the letter as a sign of getting over your past or keep it in a safe place as a constant reminder of the things that you do not want in your life.
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Also, after speaking to someone, crying, yelling and listening to soothing music, you can distract yourself by giving friendship a trial. By distracting yourself, it doesn't mean you are running away from the pain that comes with breakup or trying to escape from the healing process. It's only a chance for you to get out of the sad state and see life in another way. However, let your new friend know that you are going to be keeping it casual for some time.
Getting over a breakup doesn't not have a timeline but the most important thing is to understand the reason why your previous relationship didn't work. Identify if you are the reason for the failed relationship or your partner or both. By getting answers to these self reflections you'd be able to know the way forward.
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