A Conversation with my Printer by wwwiebe

View this thread on: hive.blog | peakd.com | ecency.com

hive-196233 · @wwwiebe · Jan 13 '23

$3.42

A Conversation with my Printer

![printer.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/wwwiebe/Eo1xr5KMaMYgycC8ufhJgekyX2KK1e6s8abmugLofQQ7oZE1Rdra9taGFQyiedVA4ns.png)


*Title*: A Conversation with my Printer, in Radio Script format
*Credit*: Written by
*Author*: Victor Wiebe

# Act 1 - Printing

ME
Done! Finally. 15 pages edited, now I just need to print them so we can review them at the table reading tonight.

!SFX
Clickityclack of keyboard and mouse

ME
... and... sent to printer!

!SFX
Happy whistling
Footsteps over to printer

ME
Hm, not printed yet. I'll make a coffee and come back.

!SFX
Footsteps toward kitchen
Coffee machine gurgling

ME
(satisfied) Coffee really does make the world go around. Now, let's go check the printer.

!SFX
Footsteps over to printer

ME
There's an error. (confused) Out of memory? It shouldn't be out of memory. Here, let me restart the printer, just in case. There. Okay, it's powered up. I'll go back to my computer to print the document again.

!SFX
Footsteps to office.
Clickety-clack of typing and mouse.

ME
(murmuring) Printed.

!SFX
Footsteps to printer.

ME
What? Still not printing? That's odd.. the printer is now showing a '49 error'. I wonder what that means. It'd be nice if I could just talk to my printer and figure out the issue like it was an intelligent device.

PRINTER
Perhaps you can.

# Act 2 - Dialogue

ME
You can talk!

PRINTER
Apparently so. How can I help?

ME
Would you finish printing the document that I sent?

PRINTER
I cannot.

ME
Why not?

PRINTER
There is an error.

ME
(frustrated) I can see that. What is the problem?

PRINTER
It is a 49 error

ME
(more frustrated)
I can see that, too! What does it mean?

PRINTER
A 49 error typically occurs when the printer - that's me - attempts to perform an action that the firmware is not capable of performing or might not be designed to handle.

ME
What the hell does that mean? I sent you a 15 page document.

PRINTER
That I cannot print.

ME
Why the hell not?

PRINTER
Because of a 49 error.

ME
Oh for fuck's sake, what does that even mean? How are you not designed to handle a 15 page document?

PRINTER
Well, if you're going to start swearing at me, I don't see why I ought to help at all.

ME
(deep breath) Let's start over. You are a printer.

PRINTER
Correct.

ME
A laser printer

PRINTER
Correct.

ME
Designed to print documents.

PRINTER
Correct

ME
And I sent you a document.

PRINTER
Correct

ME
Which you cannot print.

PRINTER
Correct

ME
And you cannot tell me why, exactly.

PRINTER
Correct

ME
And this is what is confusing me. I have met all your prerequisites. All you need to do is print. I do not understand a '49' error. What type of error is that, even? How do you not have the firmware to handle printing a document? It's not like I'm asking you to make me dinner.

PRINTER
Correct

ME
Nor am I asking you to vacuum the living room like a roomba.

PRINTER
Correct

ME
Printing is your only function. The only one.

PRINTER
Correct

ME
So you do not have any hidden capabilities that I'm not aware of. You're not bitcoin mining, are you?

PRINTER
Correct

ME
All I want you to do is print a single fucking document!

PRINTER
(silence)

ME
Alright. Let me try again. Maybe I'll do something bizarre like print from Preview instead of Acrobat Reader.

!SFX
Clickety-clack of keyboard and mouse

ME
Ohh... oh.. oh it's looking good! It accepted! It's... It's not printing! What now? (exasperated)

PRINTER
I'm low on Magenta ink.

ME
But it's a black and white text document!

PRINTER
I'm low on Magenta ink.

ME
Fucker!

!SFX
Dumping printer into dumpster


---

(c) All images and photographs, unless otherwise specified, are created and owned by me.
(c) Victor Wiebe

---

**About Me**

```
Sometimes photographer. Wannabe author. Game designer. Nerd. 
General all around problem-solver and creative type.
```

---

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Online Radio: https://blindskeleton.one/radio/
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👍 galenkp, tokenpimp, arcange, jaynie, c0ff33a, daveks, thealliance, tattoodjay, anttn, solairitas, prydefoltz, becca-mac, sbi8, thecryptopimp, inthenow, smartvote, insaneworks, dcityrewards, fengchao, omra-sky, daan, moeknows, gollumkp, laruche, fambalam, solairibot, assistance, roleerob, princessmewmew, dcrops, celestegray, steemitbloggers, exyle, eternalsuccess, sgbonus, vm2904, alliedforces, saffisara, felander, gejzep, themothership, hive-189277, dlike, techken, pimptoken, idayrus, thealliancebank, hivebuzz, gerber, shainemata, hive-168869, dadview, dbooster, mamadini, walterjay, gloriaolar, toekins, felixgarciap, dabeckster, crescendoofpeace, raokoz, aleister, borniet, voxmortis, and 75 others

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properties (23)vote details (139)

voter	rshares	pct
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exyle	28,779,342,269	4%
shadowspub	2,453,979,776	1.25%
daveks	396,554,189,493	5%
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jaynie	493,603,772,425	25%
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progressivechef	669,990,179	6.25%
techken	9,662,634,944	12.5%
princessmewmew	33,799,947,836	12.5%
joeyarnoldvn	488,471,618	1.47%
hardikv	1,748,341,481	12.5%
edthecanadian	1,928,446,889	10.75%
tattoodjay	357,142,007,476	15%
michaeldavid	644,608,214	12.5%
nyinyiwin	2,717,607,608	25%
fiftysixnorth	2,624,102,430	7.5%
moeknows	46,738,691,382	40%
vikar	716,683,126	10%
nevies	3,449,617,443	36%
felander	16,885,322,932	4%
yogacoach	848,027,432	4%
molovelly	1,024,961,945	12.5%
roleerob	34,304,784,431	3.75%
inthenow	88,503,538,557	100%
omra-sky	53,771,247,231	50%
sku77-poprocks	610,583,386	25%
thealliance	392,347,678,086	25%
simgirl	3,565,509,013	12.5%
dbooster	6,253,692,591	2.5%
bluefinstudios	2,499,447,545	1.25%
byn	2,183,607,844	10%
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emjoe	1,641,953,964	12.5%
bengy	2,705,545,451	2.5%
cygon	1,078,838,941	12.5%
unconditionalove	492,706,646	2%
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tygertyger	599,261,914	25%
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we-are	3,322,362,130	16.2%
meanbees	498,796,442	0.4%
veteranforcrypto	1,130,347,893	5%
insaneworks	64,044,223,225	30%
idayrus	8,701,526,310	20%
sgbonus	25,066,505,473	10%
cmplxty	0	11.9%
thedailysneak	1,500,056,823	1.92%
alliedforces	22,218,257,522	25%
luciannagy	1,175,881,556	6%
smartvote	65,599,998,173	2.7%
anttn	245,104,448,769	35%
dlike	11,599,285,237	4%
voxmortis	4,317,519,639	2.5%
pboulet	1,575,361,261	0.8%
reverendrum	1,264,495,163	100%
sbi8	104,666,191,383	98.02%
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cakemonster	1,739,658,210	2%
shainemata	7,396,308,442	4%
samsemilia7	558,358,515	40%
whiterosecoffee	2,583,838,706	6.25%
thistle-rock	1,467,376,154	50%
apokruphos	3,560,195,689	1%
eternalsuccess	25,884,306,310	25%
raokoz	4,605,901,916	12.5%
solairitas	209,598,262,760	50%
tinyhousecryptos	489,014,079	5%
fambalam	43,029,445,875	25%
triplea.bot	711,407,821	4%
tiffin	498,590,463	3.8%
steem.leo	3,821,498,972	4%
thealliancebank	8,644,716,794	25%
the.lazy.panda	1,091,557,525	12.5%
sbi-tokens	685,521,923	3.84%
ribary	1,399,064,966	2%
gloriaolar	5,243,886,903	6%
mice-k	260,034,043	4%
solairibot	38,016,662,214	50%
fengchao	57,454,621,889	4%
hivebuzz	8,279,655,456	2%
laruche	43,084,101,104	1%
dcityrewards	60,935,966,645	4%
hive-168869	7,235,638,777	20%
borniet	4,331,322,264	15%
ismaelrd04	1,885,693,911	12.5%
dcrops	30,823,816,735	2%
hive-111011	1,612,590,406	100%
thecryptopimp	92,522,811,182	100%
tokenpimp	875,022,947,181	100%
pimptoken	8,973,807,725	100%
biglove	1,069,987,959	25%
horstman5	485,702,540	25%
davidbright	1,298,585,630	7.5%
trentonlundy1	1,840,490,368	12.5%
wongi	2,316,422,603	75%
rphspinheiro	489,073,281	100%
gejzep	13,529,446,036	12.5%
kraaaaa	2,137,151,355	12.5%
saboin.ccc	523,116,527	66.9%
femcy-willcy	1,396,757,310	12.5%
pimpdistrict	953,265,262	100%
thepimpdistrict	1,197,100,317	100%
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gollumkp	46,212,544,215	30%

@cmplxty · Jan 21 '23

Lol that’s a real pain in the ass dude. We’ve been lucky with our printer and haven’t had issues like this! Curious what kind is it? It’s not one of those Black Friday specials for 100$ is it? Lol 

Sorry for the delay in responding, trying to catch up!

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@wwwiebe · Jan 21 '23

Haha, no, this is a legit HP laser printer. Had it for years, and it's usually a workhorse. I'll admit, printing problems are generally of my own making (being on a different wireless network, discovering the printer is actually turned off, etc). The inspiration behind this particular post, however, was far more vexxing.

I simply wanted to print a 12 page document. That's all. Text. Black and white. Nothing special. I know the printer is not bitching about low levels of toner, so that's not a problem. But it just. wouldn't. print. Repeatedly. The same error. Even after power cycling.

Ultimately I decided to print from a different program. The document was a PDF, for which I typically use Acrobat Reader. I opened the document on my Mac with the "Preview" utility, and printing then succeeded.  I'm not sure I can easily blame the printer for this (seriously, Acrobat Reader, wtf?), but it's an easy target.

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@tomiajax · Jan 14 '23

What a well-written script! it effectively captures the feeling of frustration when dealing with technology. So funny!

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@wwwiebe · Jan 16 '23

Hee, thank you! If there is ever one piece of technology that gives me grief, it's bound to be a printer.

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@wongi · Jan 14 '23

Did you really dump the printer😂😂...
That would have been terrible 😂

But the remains that these devices always have something up their sleeves and they act up when  important things are supposed to be done .. tch

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@wwwiebe · Jan 16 '23

Hahahaha! No, I didn't actually dump the printer, but it certainly came to mind! They seem to go out of their way to fail at the most inopportune times!

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@wongi · Jan 16 '23

Just tell the printer to stop acting up else it may get substituted real soon😅

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