All my life I have had one form or another of sleep problems. Ive had nightmares, sleeplessness, sleep paralysis, being stuck between sleep and wakefulness, thrashing, talking in my sleep, sleep walking, but the worst has been amnesia.
The amnesia does not ever last long. None of these issues last for longer than a few minutes, but they can be full of turmoil. I don't sleep walk anymore, thrash, talk in my sleep, etc., but I still have occasional nightmares and wake up with temporary amnesia.
I woke up this morning at around 2:15-2:45am. Pittered around the house for a while, had coffee at 5am, did chores, had a full day in essence. My pain level peaked around 2pm(severe pain resulting from old surgeries. I live with this daily struggle of pain management.) and so I decided to have a nap and reset my body back to a higher pain threshold. Throughout my day my pain threshold slowly lowers until I'm at empty. Sleep helps me manage the pain. It can be very overwhelming to my senses and it is like being sleep deprived, it just drains my batteries. I need a regular recharge.
I went to sleep.
I fell asleep and slept deeply. I woke up around 7:15 but I thought my watch said 7:15 am, my hand moved under the covers and felt something warm, wet and furry. Took me a few seconds to figure out what that was. My dog was freshly washed and he had come to curl up next to me in my warm bed.
I rolled over and noticed the light through the window was dark and thought it was a cloudy beginning to the day. Felt like I'd been sleeping for days. I sleep with my fan on for the white noise it provides. The hypnotic sound keeps me in a sleep mode.
I was hot under the covers. I wasn't sure what day it was and barely registered who I was, but I knew I was in pain (Sometimes I sleep too long in one position and that area starts to hurt.) so I got up and wandered into my son's room to get him up.
He was already up and in the shower. Took me a moment of talking to him through the door to realize it was still Wednesday and it was evening. Slowly reality crept back in to my fuzzy head and upon realizing how tired I must have been I promptly went back to bed, plus I was still hurting.
Took my pain pill with lots of water and lay in bed trying to go back to sleep. Sleep helps my body reset the pain sensitivity. Then my old nemesis reared its ugly head. Restroom break needed, my body told me. I got up once again and stumbled into the restroom and took care of that, but while I was there...for a few seconds..I looked across into the mirror and didn't recognize myself. Having had such a wonderful start to the evening, I again went back to bed. My head slowly clearing as time progresses.
This has happened to me several times throughout my life and it is quite disturbing, but I always bounce back. Sometimes it's rapid recovery, sometimes it's slower. Has this ever happened to you?
Thank you for your readership.
Much love, light and respect,
X
All photos taken by me from my iPad.
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