The last few months have flown by in a blink. For me time has never been this fast. Usually it was much slower as my life was pretty stagnant even before covid. It might sound like I am complaining but I really am not. I like things to be real slow. I am used to things being real slow. Coming from an impulsive guy like me, it might sound superficial, but at one point in life, stuck up gloomy afternoons had become a habit of mine. Those days, all I would do was stay indoors or wander around pointlessly with a half broken camera. The most exciting thing to happen would be finding a good subject which I could imprison in my frames. And that was about it. Like a canoe with a broken hull I was sinking with hopes of staying afloat.

But life has changed now. For better or worse, sometimes I fail to associate. But  feels like it has been going great. I fell in love. People who know me jokingly  might say it's for the tenth time in my life that love has knocked on my doors, but this time, it feels completely different. The sense of responsibility I feel is immense. A face full of smiles that I see whenever I close my eyes makes my heart spew out a previously unknown warmth. And I feel I have never desired anything more than the owner of that face to put her hands on my head, to pat and comb through my hair until I fall asleep. To wake up and see her crimson red eyes looking deep in mine, so deep that without even saying anything out loud she knows my deepest or darkest of secrets that I had buried under quite well, for no one to see ever. Do I sound childish? A teenager with dreamy eyes? A dream that might burst any second now? Even then, I do not want to wake up. It just feels so good that if my life ends in this melody in chaos that i have found somehow, i would let it end.

It is quite satisfactory to be honest. I am truly satisfied with how all of it has been going. It is not without the usual ups and downs as that is just one of the perks of being human. But everything in general is much better than before. I do not trade with a broken laptop anymore. Instead I have managed to buy myself a good trading/gaming setup with good specs that any tech geek would look at with respect. Full of RGB lights, those alone and my monitors are sufficient to keep my room lit up at night. I used to hate RGBs but I installed them all over because of that posh gamer vibe. Even my headphone stand plays with lights so well that I could stare at the fading colors of rainbows for hours without even noticing that I have lost focus.

Now when CLANNs The faerie court plays in the background while i write this, i can not complain about life. Money needed for living a middle class life is not an issue anymore. Fuel for my bike, smokes, spending with a bit of open hands when I'm out with her is not an issue anymore. And I am happy. Like that kid you see in the photograph, all smiles with his tiny little fire that might go out any second. My fire is flaming too. Even with its inability to light up everything around, its flaming.  


![image.png](https://images.hive.blog/DQmNjDHsqFvNeJN3j65PMqSHTHVPpnrdUHeR8JgiquHt2YG/image.png)