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| author | mrnightmare89 |
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| permlink | when-the-rain-won-t-stop |
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| title | "When the rain won't stop" |
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| body | "
[unsplash](https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1534343133720-0c20dba3a360?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMDd9&auto=format&fit=crop&w=1100&q=60)
Not all the time we can experience nice weather. Sun sometimes hide and let the rain take over. Pour the world with sadness and loneliness. As I looked in my surroundings, there was no one to share laughter with. There's no reason to draw a smiling face when I have no idea how it looks today. It makes me think that maybe this type of sensation is what suits me. I'm not good at interacting with people anyway. I will just make them hate me and leaves me.
I can't stop the tears from falling. I can't stop the heavy breathing just by thinking what the people think of me. Even just for once maybe it's fine to cry like a child who is looking for his toy. It's okay to pretend just this once that I'm an adult that I don't need someone to be with.
I just want to be free from judgemental eyes. I want to escape in the world full of misunderstanding. I don't want to exist in a world that never cares about what I'm feeling. They didn't know how does it feel when you just want to be happy but being told just want to be famous. You can take back your words but you can't give me back the happiness I shared with you. The expectations I spent because I thought you were a friend.
[unsplash](https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1595907936728-c3d0aa17115e?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMDd9&auto=format&fit=crop&w=1100&q=60)
It's painful to be alone like it kills me. But it's more painful when you thought the people you're being with were real. The people that you consider friends didn't think of you as one of their friends. It's better to be alone because you're already used to it. It's way better spending without them when they'll just hurt you later.
I'm still in pain after what you just said days ago. I may be exaggerating things this way. Forgive me, but this is me, this is how it affects me when my heart started crying. It doesn't forget easily but I just feel it more the pain so I can move on after. This is my technique in overcoming the pain. I need to hurt myself more and more that will make me cry harder. By feeling it painfully time will come that I will be back in my old self.
I'm not blaming you by the way. I'm blaming myself expecting too much from you. Sorry, but I was just being true to myself when I said you were my friend. I don't like faking my emotions, pretending to like that person even if I don't feel that way. This is just me, telling you that friends can hurt me emotionally.
I may now go but leave you a word. "You did nothing wrong, it was me who did because I couldn't do what you asked me to do." Thank you and goodbye.
d' dreamboy is dreaming,
@mrnightmare89" |
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