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1. | parent_author | "" |
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parent_permlink | hive-174578 |
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author | rhosadah |
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permlink | forgotten-sacrifice-made-me-hesitate |
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title | "FORGOTTEN SACRIFICE MADE ME HESITATE" |
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body | "![source:Pixabay.com](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/rhosadah/TG9W2ZCl-Sherl.jpg)
I don't understand why I have to be faced with a problem like this. It seems I also have no choice. On the other hand, my pride felt bought, as if our family had to repay Mr. Harley's kindness
towards our family so far.
"I just ask for your understanding. We have often been helped by Mr. Harley's family, and who knows when we can repay their kindness. Remember, since the death of your father, Mr. Harley also helped your school until you could finish high school. Now they are in trouble, and Mother think this is the right time we can help them.
"They ask you to marry Sherly. After Sherly's child is born, it's up to you what decision you make. Indeed, Sherly's parents are not pushy, but there is a plea on their words. Mother feels bad. Also when can we help them ...?
"I hope you do not feel insulted, because as if you are the payer of their kindness debt. I only ask for your understanding ...!"
And I've always been unable to see Mother cry.
Finally I reluctantly want to marry Sherly. Not wanting to cover up Mr. Harley's family disgrace, but more because I didn't want to make Mother sad.
Sherly, what can I remember about that girl? He was my playmate as a child. We always play together. Next to our house close by, my mother works at her place. From there I became more familiar with Sherly. I still remember, when I was a child playing with him, I played the role of the groom, and he pretended to be the bride.
Until middle school I was in the same school, but in high school we were different schools. That's where I saw Sherly incarnate a beautiful girl. As someone who is often with him, my feelings to judge him to be different.
No longer a friend, but a feeling as a man towards a woman. Unfortunately I don't have the courage to say it. I feel inferior, and that feeling is only buried in my heart.
After high school I opened a screen printing business, while Sherly continued studying in the provincial capital. Since college, I noticed something was missing in Sherly's figure. I got the impression that Sherly tends to be free in her relationships.
My guess was correct. Towards the end of her college semester, she became pregnant. And no one wants to take responsibility. Of course the parents were angry and embarrassed. To cover up their family shame, they begged my mother to marry Sherly.
Now our marriage is in the fifth month, and that means Sherly's womb is entering the eighth month (because when we married Sherly was already three months pregnant).
I don't know what got into my mind, during that time I never touched Sherly, in the sense of a husband-wife relationship. Like there is a sense of anger, disappointment, and other feelings of helplessness, so I do like that. I feel like a paid man. It really hurts. If it wasn't your request, of course I would flatly reject it.
I also often act unfriendly, and said curtly to Sherly. But in front of my mother, or in front of Sherly's parents, we acted as if nothing had happened.
I still sleep in the same room, but I sleep separately, sleeping on a small foam mattress. This made Sherly feel insulted.
"How disgusting me to you? I've tried to be a good wife, but why are you treating me like that ...? After all I am still your legal wife ...."
"Yes, in front of the chief," I said. "My job is only until your child is born," I continued.
Sherly looked at me trembling, "Okay ...," he said softly as he wiped his tears.
I have to admit Sherly as a wife always serves me well. Every morning he always provides coffee and breakfast for me, also delivers lunch to the kiosk where my screen printing business is located.
As a husband, I still provide kitchen shopping and daily necessities, even though I know Sherly is still being helped by her parents. I saw it from the variety of menus he made, which could not be sufficient for the shopping money I gave. The house and its contents are also Sherly's parents.
One night Sherly slept close to me. At that time the electricity went out. Sherly screamed in fear, went straight to my bed.
"What the heck?" I said irritated.
"Papa-me, b-scared ...!" Sherly's voice was trembling. He immediately lay down beside me. I grew more annoyed, and turned my back on him.
I could feel a shudder of fear in his body. I feel sorry, and let his hand wrapped around my body. Her breath brushed against the back of my neck, and something soft pressed against my back. There was a strange sensation flowing, and something was writhing inside my body. Until morning I couldn't fall asleep.
But the incident two weeks ago that made my assessment and treatment of Sherly changed a little. That night my body was shivering with fever. It's been three layers of blankets, but still my body is shivering.
Sherly was worried to see how I was. That night he broke through the drizzle, looking for medicine in a shop. Paracetamol-based drugs usually temporarily reduce fever. He is also busy making warm sweet tea for me. "Get a massage, so that your body is a little light."
In fact, after taking medicine, and massaging my back, my head felt lighter. My body is drenched in sweat. Sherly also painstakingly wiped my sweat, and changed my clothes.
My body didn't really shiver either. There is a warmth enveloping my body. I guess it's not just the blanket, but Sherly who leaned against me, pillowed one hand.
Her bulging stomach pressed against my body. I also just realized, his body is thinner. His eyes were sunken, slightly indented, like eyes that often cry. A fragile body, wishing there was support to share stories, but all I got from me were harsh words that hurt her.
Feel sorry for him. I shouldn't treat him like that. Yesterday, what he did was probably just a mistake, following the turmoil of his youth. And it seems that he realized his mistake.
"Sher ...?"
"Hm ...?"
"Thank you...."
Sherly didn't answer. Only then did his body tremble slightly. Is he crying ...?
This morning I saw his body limping lifting a bucket of stolen goods to be dried in the sun. His big stomach made it difficult for him to lift the bucket. It would be too much if I let it be.
"I'll do the drying," I said, reaching for the bucket.
"Aren't you ashamed?"
"How can you help your own wife be ashamed ...?"
But, huh? Suddenly we fell silent. Own wife? Is that what I said earlier?
That night he asked permission so that his mother could stay together until the child was born.
"Later when it's born, we'll let you know."
"But, but ..., me, me ...?"
I got the point. "About washing and cooking I'll do the work."
"You...?" Sherly's voice seemed unsure.
I nodded.
"You can cook?"
"No. Do you want to teach?"
Sherly smiled, nodded.
Then the following days I felt our relationship was so close, which had been so foreign to each other. Usually when talking to Sherly is only necessary, now I can listen to Sherly for a while. In fact, we both laughed out loud. The reason is, the fried rice that I made is salty.
I also look back at Sherly's cheerfulness like her childhood. Also, there was a feeling of comfort being close to him. Now I feel afraid to lose. But at another time I remembered that the baby she was carrying was not mine.
I hesitated again.
Sherly gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. The seconds of giving birth, for some reason, I was so anxious to see it. I'm afraid something will happen to him. I gripped her hand tightly.
After the birth process was over, I saw Sherly's tears flowing. I gently wiped it off, as well as the sweat beads that filled his face. I kissed her forehead sincerely. "Congratulations, yes ...," I whispered.
Instead, it made Sherly cry even more. He hugged me tightly. "Thank you ..., thank you for saving me. Save my family ...!"
My mom and Sherly's parents came on Sherly's first day giving birth. Meanwhile, Sherly's mother has lived with us for almost a month. Teaching Sherly how best to treat a baby.
After Sherly's mother returned to her house, the strange feeling came back over me. I realized that he had grown a feeling of affection for him, but on the other hand there was a feeling of resentment raging in my mind.
Until one afternoon ...!
At that time, Sherly's baby was three months old. I saw Sherly dressed neatly while carrying her baby, as if deliberately waiting for me. I also saw a suitcase. I feel bad.
We sat across from each other. We were silent for a long time. Sherly sighed, like she had something heavy to say.
"I think ..., your job has been completed. Isn't that what you told me ...?"
I didn't react.
"I, my family, have to thank you, for covering up our family's shame. I remember, when you were a child, you always defended me from the interference of male friends. And nowadays, in the midst of my doubts and sadness, you also became a god. helper.
"Actually, with our marriage I want to turn over a new leaf. I want to learn to improve myself. But what I get is your annoyance and anger.
"Do you feel humiliated by me, by my family? Even though I have tried to be a good wife for you. But you don't seem to be able to accept me as I am.
"I'm trying to understand it. But I'm not strong enough, I'm too tired to live like this every day.
"After this, please send a lawsuit to the Religious Court. Whatever reason you put out in court I will accept it.
"Besides, I beg you to allow me to put your name as my child's father on his birth certificate later ...!"
"Where are you going next?" I said finally.
"Maybe, maybe I'll finish my college."
Then Sherly got up from her seat. He said, "Can you help carry the suitcase forward? For the last time ...!"
I'm silent. I don't know why my feelings are upset Right now, really, I feel confused about what to do. I used to think that after Sherly gave birth, my job was finished, and there was no burden anymore. But now why does my chest feel tight when I know he's leaving? Why does this sense of pride always cling to my heart?
Seeing that I was silent, Sherly dragged the suitcase herself. When he was about to open the door that flashed in my mind. "Wait!" my hold.
I walked over to him and grabbed his suitcase. Not take him out, but I put in the room. Not only that, I took the baby in her arms. Kiss the baby's cheek with great feeling.
"My job isn't finished. I, we, will raise our children until they grow up. That is if you don't mind."
I saw Sherly's eyes filled with tears. And I immediately took the baby to the room.
I saw Sherly still stunned near the door. I walked over to him and took his hands.
"Sorry for how I treated you all this time. You know, it's not in my nature. But somehow that stupid act I did. In fact, you know, I've always liked you. And now, when that opportunity is so close, I even let it go.
"I am too haunted by the images I created myself. Fears that only exist in my imagination. It causes my actions to hurt you.
"Sorry...!
"I want - as you say - we turn a new page. Without prejudice and suspicion. We accept each other's shortcomings. You also do not be burdened to have to love me. Because, indeed, love can come suddenly, but sometimes it can grow. through the process. Previously you became my wife through words in front of your father and chief. Now I ask before you, with words and with all the feeling of my soul.
"Sherly ..., will you be my wife, forever ...?"
Sherly didn't answer. He stared at me, his eyes even wider. Then he hugged me. We hugged each other very tightly. I feel the smell of his hair. Her scent felt like I wanted to inhale it, flowing deliciously through the pores of my body.
"Did you forget something?"
"Er ...?"
"This afternoon you haven't made me coffee ...?"
Sherly tightened his hug even more. Biting my shoulder, slowly.
" |
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json | {"trx_id":"006a8844ab7c5d935613de655433839ac31ee945","team_hash":"1b4d9aadac48be4a6237489e7d09fdb3","summoner":"starter-16-B90Zu","monsters":["C4-177-UYSVXAPF1S","C3-83-H5CDZZCIWW","C4-172-V2PPXPAZMO","C3-93-NVNB48TME8"],"secret":"DzAfpfVqz5","app":"steemmonsters/0.7.41"} |
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json | "{"match_type": "Ranked", "app": "steemmonsters/0.7.41"}" |
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json | {"trx_id":"69feea1685fa8d5a97826a483e8705d28a61ed40","team_hash":"3790fc42a2f0bbe004672d2e1e3c63f4","summoner":"starter-156-SWTb1","monsters":["starter-152-pFUqB","starter-151-yUvI2","G3-242-0253C1UJWW","C3-207-VA1TDLW79S","starter-192-ur2VI","starter-148-E1nYq"],"secret":"6ea6026248","app":"steemmonsters/0.7.34"} |
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