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parent_permlink | hive-110372 |
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author | neruel |
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permlink | el-bullying-duele-mi-historia-de-autosuperacion-esp-eng |
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title | "El Bullying Duele - Mi Historia de Autosuperación [ESP-ENG]" |
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body | "
<center> ![B1.gif](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/neruel/23tbKPR8JDkD1U3uphdP7mvQwY4tNzjdnrg3juPb4SzGGsNpAZBc7A5z5bJSLFXHpTsp6.gif)</center>
#
<center> <sub><sub> [Hecho en Canva](https://www.canva.com/design/DAFDu98mFAg/G2ngXwsGgjllFGZeBjiW2Q/watch?utm_content=DAFDu98mFAg&utm_campaign=designshare&utm_medium=link&utm_source=publishsharelink) // [ Javardh || Unsplash ](https://unsplash.com/es/fotos/URLlQPnfG6Y) </sub></sub></center>
<center>![javardh-URLlQPnfG6Y-unsplash.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/neruel/23uQhtsJG7K2kwiu7V9Xyd5Mp6DUaX4L2dz5jLtNWyfAGAaxvToag51fHiJWWeDoCqdSB.jpg)</center>
#
<div class="text-justify">
<sub> Escrito escuchando: Fin de Fiesta de Nella. Los golpes asà como las palabras obscenas duelen y te marcan, pero te permiten superar también tus miedos cuando decides cambiarlo todo. </sub>
#
Esto es algo que me cuesta escribir, es que es muy personal, pero lejos de ser una cavilación es una forma de sincerarme conmigo mismo. Las increpaciones y los vejámenes duelen, aunque duelen más las palabras que la propia agonÃa de que te den un golpe. Yo nacà en una familia humilde, o sea, mi familia ha luchado de manera invaluable para tener cada una de sus profesiones, metas y esas cosas que la vida explana, por ende, cuando nacÃ, todos me dieron y bueno me han dado mucho afecto. Se podrÃa decir que, en cierto punto fui mimado, pero no de una manera negativa, era un niño protegido.
#
En ocasiones me sentÃa aislado, los niños a mi alrededor decÃan que actuaba extraño, no hablaba bien y hacÃa gestos que no eran acordes, ¿qué gestos debe hacer un niño de 7 años? No lo sé, pero más lejos de eso era la forma en la que me evadÃan, recuerdo una ocasión, en que todos fueron con ambos padres y en mi caso solamente fue mi mamá, eso marco muchas cosas. El niño sin papá, era algo cotidiano escuchar, mi padre está presente en mi vida, pero eso es algo que dolió mucho en mi infancia, aun asà hoy dÃa le amo a pesar de nuestras diferencias.
#
Los golpes vinieron después, habÃa dos niños que me acosaron reiteradamente, me quitaban el dinero y más lejos de eso siempre buscaban llevarme a la parte más remota de la escuela para burlarse de mÃ. Esto no lo sabe mi mamá y mi familia, siempre lo he guardado para mÃ, no quiero hacerles daño y hacerles sentir que no estuvieron en esos momentos, su afecto me ayudó mucho y más el de mi mamá.
#
La agonÃa comenzó cuando después de pasar de año académicamente. Las burlas, las restricciones, el aislamiento y los oÃdos sordos me hicieron encerrarme en ese momento de todos; aunque habÃa un niño con el que hice amistad, pero sus padres se mudaron del lugar, lo sacaron de la escuela y evidentemente perdà ese lazo, pero aun cuando estaba presente me sentÃa aislado. En una ocasión me senté en un rincón de mi salón de clases y a nadie le importó. ¡Creo que la única que se percató fue mi profesora! Ella siempre preguntaba qué sucedÃa, esto es un recuerdo cuando estaba en tercer grado en la escuela.
#
Luego de eso mi madre decidió al hablar conmigo cambiar mi turno de estudio a la mañana en la escuela, pero eso significarÃa más burlas, prejuicios y la persona que más me maltratarÃa en ese tiempo llegarÃa. No diré los nombres de ninguno de los niños, después de todos eran niños, pero pienso que siempre recordaré a ese niño por lo que efectuó e intento hacerme. Por respeto, a la comunidad no diré las palabras obscenas que siempre sostenÃa, pero si un par de bofetadas y golpes era lo cotidiano. Hoy miró el pasado y veo que ese tiempo fue como si fuere un saco de boxeo, mi rendimiento académico era fatal y no me gustaba ir a la escuela. Esa es una parte triste, de todo esto que estoy contando, pero lo más marcado es el hecho de que ese niño intento arrebatarme la vida, eso ocurrió en ocasiones, pero la segunda fue la definitiva para él. Las formas están muy marcadas, mi madre en ese tiempo pudo actuar rápidamente, pero eso queda, queda presente en tu vida.
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¿Cómo un niño puede actuar de esa manera? No lo sé y tampoco me lo explico, pero a mà simplemente en ese tiempo me dolió mucho, es más, estoy siendo muy valiente al escribir esto, pero pienso que lo he dejado ir, me da miedo si mi madre lee esto y se preocupa. ¡Ella es lo más importante para mÃ!
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Luego de aquello comencé un poco a cambiar, aún seguÃan las burlas, pero puede conectarme; aunque todo regresarÃa cuando llegué por primera vez a bachillerato, los personajes en esta ocasión eran varios. Burlas, remedar mi vos, repetir lo que efectuaba, acoso y palabras obscenas, ¿contar esto me hace débil? Para nada, creo que lo más acorde es dejarlo ir y es que varias de esas personas no tuvieron un buen final, pero dos de ellos terminaron siendo mis amigos hoy dÃa.
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En bachillerato era tÃpico no encontrar mis cuadernos y mi bolso cerca de mÃ, también era tÃpico que me llamaran nerd, sÃ, hoy no me da vergüenza ser un chico nerd, en aquellos momentos creÃa que estaba mal, pero aun asà me esforcé por mi mamá y por mÃ. Además, mi mamá era mi amiga mejor dicho es mi mejor amiga aunque está lejos.
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En ocasiones evitaba pasar por donde estaban las personas que me increpaban y aquellas que escribÃan cosas de mà en las mesas del liceo, pero aun asà poco a poco empecé a ser más fuerte, muy fuerte. No cree a una persona artificial, me encontré poco a poco para superar los miedos estúpidos que sentÃa.
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El niño que no hace deportes, el niño que solo estudia, el niño que es muy sentimental y el niño que sufrió de maltrato continuamente psicológico empezó a abrir su corazón a las personas y dejo de importarle lo que otros decÃan de él. ¡No le prestes atención! Esa fueron las palabras de mi superprofesora y de varios amigos. Incluso, cuando llegué a tener una relación con alguien seguÃan las burlas como también las increpaciones, pero nada de eso era algo que importara.
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En el liceo lloré varias veces, una por aislamiento y burlas de mis compañeros y otras por presión de la directora por temas académicos y administrativos, pero aun asà he podido continuar. Todas y cada una de las personas que dijeron algo de mÃ, los niños que me golpeaban y el niño que intentó en aquella ocasión ahorcarme les he perdonado y aparte de eso me permitieron superar cada una de las palabras que habÃan esbozado.
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Las personas en ocasiones miran lo que somos hoy dÃa, pero aÃsla los hechos de lo que podemos haber pasado, la violencia escolar no es buena y para mà es un veneno tóxico, pero también está en nosotros mismos afrontarla y enfrentarla. ¿Es fácil? Para nada, nunca será fácil aguantar y ser paciente, pero de algo estoy indiscutiblemente seguro, esto nos enseña a valorar cada instante de nuestras vidas y dejar ir todo eso que nos han causado.
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Mi madre siempre ha sido una de las personas que me ha apoyado, es cierto que oculte muchas cosas de ella y es que me daba miedo en ese momento, me daba miedo de ver la actuación de los niños en la escuela si mi mamá actuaba, pero lo mejor siempre será dejar salir todo y no guardarlo para ti. Esto puede continuar, hacer daño y más lejos aislarte de muchas personas maravillosas.
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Yo creo que los seres humanos somos como la luz a pesar de nuestras imperfecciones, a pesar de lo que me sucedió cuando estaba pequeño pienso que la bondad es lo que nos debe caracterizar. No mires a las personas por lo que te hicieron o efectuó alguna vez, mÃrala por lo que es hoy, mÃrala en el ahora.
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A pesar de todo existen cosas muy emocionante y maravillosas que vivÃ, esto es solamente un pequeño recuerdo que forma parte de mi historia como de mi vida.
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Es relajante escribir esto, es liberador e indispensablemente es una manera de dejarlo ir todo a eso que llamamos pasado. SÃ, alguna vez sufriste de algo asÃ, déjalo ir, cura tu corazón y sobre todas las cosas permÃtete, sÃ, permÃtete ver por un momento eso que ocurrió para tu bien y no causarte daño. Las lágrimas están saliendo en este momento y la razón es que ese niño que se sentó en el final del salón, le abofetearon y lo acosaron ha dejado ir esa historia.
#
Hoy nuevamente mostré una parte, una parte de lo que ocurrió, fui y soy.
#
Únicamente debes decir: te perdono.
</div>
<center>![javardh-URLlQPnfG6Y-unsplash.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/neruel/23uQhtsJG7K2kwiu7V9Xyd5Mp6DUaX4L2dz5jLtNWyfAGAaxvToag51fHiJWWeDoCqdSB.jpg)</center>
# <center> English </center>
<center> ![B1.gif](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/neruel/23tbKPR8JDkD1U3uphdP7mvQwY4tNzjdnrg3juPb4SzGGsNpAZBc7A5z5bJSLFXHpTsp6.gif)</center>
#
<center> <sub><sub> [Mad in Canva](https://www.canva.com/design/DAFDu98mFAg/G2ngXwsGgjllFGZeBjiW2Q/watch?utm_content=DAFDu98mFAg&utm_campaign=designshare&utm_medium=link&utm_source=publishsharelink) // [ Javardh || Unsplash ](https://unsplash.com/es/fotos/URLlQPnfG6Y) </sub></sub></center>
<center>![javardh-URLlQPnfG6Y-unsplash.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/neruel/23uQhtsJG7K2kwiu7V9Xyd5Mp6DUaX4L2dz5jLtNWyfAGAaxvToag51fHiJWWeDoCqdSB.jpg)</center>
<div class="text-justify">
<sub>Written by listening: Fin de Fiesta by Nella. The blows as well as the obscene words hurt and mark you, but they also allow you to overcome your fears when you decide to change everything.</sub>
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This is something that I find difficult to write, it is very personal, but far from being a digression it is a way to be honest with myself. The rebukes and humiliations hurt, although the words hurt more than the agony of being hit. I was born into a humble family, that is, my family has struggled invaluably to have each of their professions, goals and those things that life explores, therefore, when I was born, everyone gave me and well they have given me a lot of affection. You could say that, at a certain point I was spoiled, but not in a negative way, I was a protected child.
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Sometimes I felt isolated, the children around me said that I acted strange, I didn't speak well and I made gestures that were not appropriate, what gestures should a 7 year old make? I don't know, but far from that was the way they avoided me, I remember one occasion, when everyone went with both parents and in my case it was only my mother, that marked many things. The child without a father, it was a daily thing to hear, my father is present in my life, but that is something that hurt a lot in my childhood, even so today I love him despite our differences.
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The beatings came later, there were two boys who harassed me repeatedly, they would take my money and further away from that they always sought to take me to the most remote part of the school to make fun of me. This is not known to my mom and my family, I have always kept it to myself, I don't want to hurt them and make them feel that they were not there in those moments, their affection helped me a lot and more my mom's.
#
The agony began when after passing the year academically. The teasing, the restrictions, the isolation and the deaf ears made me shut myself away at that time from everyone; although there was one boy I made friends with, but his parents moved out of the place, they took him out of school and I evidently lost that bond, but even when I was present I felt isolated. On one occasion I sat in the corner of my classroom and no one cared, I think the only one who noticed was my teacher! She would always ask what was going on, this is a memory when I was in third grade at school.
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After that my mother decided by talking to me to change my study shift to the morning at school, but that would mean more teasing, prejudice and the person who would mistreat me the most at that time would arrive. I will not say the names of any of the children, after all they were all children, but I think I will always remember that child for what he did and tried to do to me. Out of respect, to the community I will not say the obscene words he always held, but if a couple of slaps and blows were the daily occurrence. Today I look back and I see that time was like a punching bag, my academic performance was terrible and I didn't like going to school. That is a sad part, of all this that I am telling, but the most marked is the fact that that child tried to take my life, that happened on occasions, but the second was the final one for him. The forms are very marked, my mother at that time was able to act quickly, but that remains, it remains present in your life.
#
How can a child act that way? I don't know and I can't explain it either, but for me it simply hurt me a lot at that time, what's more, I am being very brave writing this, but I think I have let it go, I am afraid if my mother reads this and worries. She is the most important thing for me!
#
After that I started to change a bit, the teasing was still going on, but I could connect; although it would all come back when I got to high school for the first time, the characters this time were various. Teasing, imitating my voice, repeating what I was doing, harassment and obscene words, does this make me weak? Not at all, I think the best thing to do is to let it go and several of those people did not have a good ending, but two of them ended up being my friends today.
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In high school it was typical not to find my notebooks and my bag near me, it was also typical to be called a nerd, yes, today I'm not ashamed to be a nerdy kid, in those moments I thought it was wrong, but I still tried hard for my mom and for me. Besides, my mom was my friend rather she is my best friend even though she is far away.
#
Sometimes I avoided passing by the people who rebuked me and those who wrote things about me on the tables of the high school, but even so, little by little I started to be stronger, very strong. I didn't create an artificial person, I found myself little by little to overcome the stupid fears I felt.
#
The child who does not do sports, the child who only studies, the child who is very sentimental and the child who suffered from continuous psychological abuse began to open his heart to people and stopped caring what others said about him. Don't pay attention to him! Those were the words of my super teacher and several friends. Even when I got into a relationship with someone, the teasing continued as did the berating, but none of it mattered.
#
In high school I cried several times, once because of isolation and teasing from my classmates and other times because of pressure from the principal for academic and administrative issues, but even so I have been able to continue. Each and every one of the people who said something about me, the kids who hit me and the boy who tried on that occasion to hang me I have forgiven them and apart from that they allowed me to overcome each of the words they had outlined.
#
People sometimes look at what we are today, but isolate the facts of what we may have gone through, school violence is not good and for me it is a toxic poison, but it is also in ourselves to face it and deal with it. Is it easy? Not at all, it will never be easy to endure and be patient, but of one thing I am indisputably sure, this teaches us to value every instant of our lives and let go of all that they have caused us.
#
My mother has always been one of the people who has supported me, it is true that I hid many things from her and it is that I was afraid at that time, I was afraid to see the performance of children at school if my mom acted, but the best thing will always be to let everything out and not keep it to yourself. This can go on, hurt and further isolate you from many wonderful people.
#
I believe that human beings are like light despite our imperfections, despite what happened to me when I was little I think that kindness is what should characterize us. Don't look at people for what they did or did to you once, look at them for what they are today, look at them in the now.
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In spite of everything there are very exciting and wonderful things that I lived, this is only a small memory that is part of my history as part of my life.
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It is relaxing to write this, it is liberating and indispensable as a way to let go of all that we call the past. Yes, you ever suffered from something like that, let it go, heal your heart and above all things allow yourself, yes, allow yourself to see for a moment that it happened for your good and not to cause you harm. The tears are coming right now and the reason is that child who sat in the back of the room, got slapped and bullied has let go of that story.
#
Today again I showed a part, a part of what happened, I was and I am.
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All you have to say is: I forgive you.
</div>
#
<center>https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/neruel/EoCavBrnKSEh815jLST5cKVKUd2VTzDurWfX3TTfo8apbE4fJdZqEz152PcJc7dRfSu.png</center>
#
<div class="text-justify"> Usé la imagen de Javardh en Unsplash para diseñar el divisor (la fuente está debidamente identificada).</div>
><div class="text-justify"> I used Javardh image on Unsplash to design the divider (The source is properly identified).</div>
<center> ![Pie de blog (2).gif](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/neruel/EoAYHmemr3ZG99S8L8nzUtQUTHc4sBBLzWjw49GfKt62TLHCSMnCGhFKG67tH72xAJs.gif)</center>
**<center><sub>Con aprecio, Neruel || With appreciation, Neruel </sub></center>**
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author | grindle |
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permlink | a-stroll-through-the-village-of-lin-albania-may-22 |
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