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title | "I Spent A Day With Elon Musk. Here's What Happened" |
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body | "The most interesting of days with America's most indebted future man.
![Beggars_Elon_Musk_as_a_dictator_73d77343-7c60-4963-af0f-c76f41ae7ef7.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/beggars/AKU4HQRo1wP33PuLmpdLDS9akBHJpWLitiZGUTjLis2z4CGxReWSKpZoud4Sp1p.jpg)
"*Hey, I don't have any change on me. Would you mind getting me a Coke and Mars Bar from the vending machine?*"
This was the first thing Elon said to me as I showed up at Twitter HQ bright and early, as Mr Musk requested. "*Sure thing Mr Musk*" I replied. I didn't question Elon asking for a Coke or Mars Bar at 7:30 am. In hindsight, who has that for breakfast?
I didn't have the heart to tell Elon that this was the last $10 I had in my pocket, and my car was running dangerously low on fuel. But Elon will surely pay me back at the end of the day.
As we walked through the cafeteria, I could hear Elon counting quietly under his breath. "*One, two, three, four*", as he walked over to someone sitting down eating with four bottles of orange juice he took from one of the cafeteria fridges.
Elon looked down at the Twitter worker bee, reading his name badge.
"*Why do you have four bottles of orange juice, Greg?*" Elon asked in a dad-like scolding voice. "*I, I, I*" Greg stammered, "*Well?*" Elon continued. "*They're for my team. They asked me to grab them an orange juice.*" Greg mustered up the courage to find the right words. I am unsure if Elon believed Greg, but he didn't question further.
It was at this point I realised Elon was in dad savings mode. Looking for any waste he could eliminate, even if it was cornering nervous staff in the cafeteria and questioning the number of items they take from the fridges.
As we walked through the building, Elon would swipe his access card at various entry points as the light turned green and the door unlocked. Occasionally he would flick light switches off at the wall that had been left on.
"*I spent $44 billion on this place and I'll probably spend another $44 billion on the electricity bill too*"
"*Can you grab me another Coke?*," Elon asked me again. I was nervous, I didn't have much money left, but I didn't want to say no either. I walked to the vending machine in the corner and fed in the last remnants of my money.
![Beggars_Elon_Musk_dictator_drinking_a_can_of_coke_52b42ea9-10ef-409a-aa69-d1370702e4e4.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/beggars/AKKRrZiMxBYK67WUB5P6nFbPrfTuke8dGuFPRkWxKxNruE9NFfyRS1renSfQGDA.jpg)
Musk looked down at his phone and told me to follow him as he sipped the cold can of Coke I had paid for. We were heading somewhere, but Elon barely said a word. The most he had said to me was asking for Coke and a Mars Bar.
We entered an elevator, and the staff avoided eye contact and stared at the ground. Nobody acknowledged Mr Musk or said anything. Before we reached our level, someone coughed. Elon immediately turned around and looked at the employee like they had just committed the most heinous act, he said nothing, but his eyes were saying a lot.
I kept wanting to ask about the money I spent on Coke, but Elon seemed upset, so I decided to leave it for the moment.
Elon talked about some of the amazing things at Tesla and SpaceX as we walked through the hallways. Did you know at Tesla and SpaceX, all employees wear microchips that track their body vital signs? If those chips detect employees getting tired, robots that patrol the buildings fire darts full of energy-boosting chemicals to wake them up.
I praised Elon for his work at those companies, and he replied, "*Fucking lefties*". I was taken aback by this remark.
Before I could say anything, he continued, "*They're trying to shut me down, Beggars*," Elon said. "*They don't understand how smart I am. I could change this world for the better, if they just stopped talking about all of the autopilot Tesla deaths and my questionable business decisions*."
Elon quickly pops his head inside a busy meeting space and says, "*Good work, everyone*", giving them the thumbs up and walking away. "*I am firing those people first. I slashed the tyres on Rob's car just before you came in*", Elon said. "*Do you like puppies?*" he continued. Before I could answer he responded for me, "*Of course you do. Everyone loves puppies*"
As we spoke casually, Elon would look down at his phone; it looked like he was checking out the price of Doge. I saw an opportunity to plug Hive:
"*There's a crypto called Hive, and it has really fast block times, and it's cheap to use*" I tried telling him. "*I hate bees.*" he muttered. "*I'm working on technology to kill all bees over at SpaceX*."
Before I could respond, Elon shouts at someone sweeping the floor, telling them they're holding the broom incorrectly. As Elon attempts to correct them, the cleaner cowers in fear.
We had a deep and meaningful conversation about the economy before Elon uttered the words I feared. "*Can you get me another Coke? And while you're there, get yourself one too*." — how kind Elon was to allow me to buy a Coke with my own money. I didn't have the heart to tell him this was the last of my money.
I gave Elon his Coke, and he thanked me and said he had some important meetings and had to wrap up the visit. Before I could ask for the money for all of the Cokes, he said, "*Thanks*" and walked off.
Left standing there in a random Twitter hallway, I questioned the value of my few hours with Elon Musk. With no money to get home, I knew tonight I would be sleeping in a bus shelter outside of Twitter HQ." |
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