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Spider On The Hose (COM #29 Entry) by ruth-girl

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comedyopenmic · @ruth-girl · (edited)
$17.31
Spider On The Hose (COM #29 Entry)
Saturday spider photostory anyone?
Today I didn't only play with my camera, I also played with some lyrics... 
## Enjoy! 🕷🕸

---

## Spider on the hose
## Spider on the hose

---

<center> ![ruth-girl_steemit_spider on the hose 5.jpg](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmWu34n6SUwsF6b3sKsAGatN4YqGc4wwUfGXwvH8uNwARR) </center>

---

## Upwards this hose she crawls
## In holes she sticks her nose

---

<center> ![ruth-girl_steemit_spider on the hose 1.jpg](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/Qma75WM6GSo1EuoQhEf52pt3G9L1q3tKgdLSYAxcXJG5nc) </center>

---

## Like a huntress on her own
## She's a queen without a throne
## Spider on the hose

---

<center> ![ruth-girl_steemit_spider on the hose 10.jpg](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmfKbxxgNcAWnQRfTjQEkUbqmfsSQTrALhgo7MpNFcnVUG) </center>

---

## There's a killer on the hose
## All her eyes will never close

---

<center> ![ruth-girl_steemit_spider on the hose 3.jpg](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmRGefRhrTmaHBuPE4hWMry9jDkFtGDSV3VTE89LmMNRey) </center>

---

## Come on and make her day
## Sweet insects you will pay

---

<center> ![ruth-girl_steemit_spider on the hose 2.jpg](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmdZaZcK1163WCf7ELkwaW6mgEUpqgjidegUNbFE22gewr) </center>

---

## If you wave and say hi
## Insect family will die
## Killer on the hose

---

<center> ![ruth-girl_steemit_spider on the hose 6.jpg](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmR4gH7QVjryFJ6uTpyShaZKWVH8GYgGLQeYt9KQZin1hu) </center>


---

## Insect girls protect your man
## Insect girls protect your man
## Take him by the hand
## Make him understand
## If you get caught on her hands
## Your life will reach the end
## Girls protect your man

---

<center> ![ruth-girl_steemit_spider on the hose 9.jpg](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/Qme7uN7Djk4i2z6akS2DbX5ZrVsRTKh1ntbe8QSXHE57Zg) </center>

---

## Spider on the hose
## Spider on the hose
## Upwards this hose she crawls

---

<center> ![ruth-girl_steemit_spider on the hose 4.jpg](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmREFMpQoPLknAiRwZgsAaUMFQ8eeNPt7HfRGPntpGAcQw) </center>

---

## In holes she sticks her nose
## Like a huntress on her own
## She's a queen without a throne

---

<center> ![ruth-girl_steemit_spider on the hose 7.jpg](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/Qmdbw7qSRXS8VFAK6UbgN4zX9P2weKyR3EPXyWLiimZZj6) </center>

---

## Spider on the hose
## Spider on the hose
## Spider on the hose
## Spider on the hose
## Spider on the hose

---

<center> ![ruth-girl_steemit_spider on the hose 8.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmW9yG8zLft2HAGiwdjTfXvpDKSAUuTL2QZzMtH166XBWZ/ruth-girl_steemit_spider%20on%20the%20hose%208.jpg) </center>

---
---

> Into this house we're born
> Into this world we're thrown

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GutM23LLpP4

> Riders on the storm...

---
---

**All images (not free for re-use) and story by @ruth-girl - Steemit, 2018*

---
---

I hope you enjoyed this little messed up song and the cool pictures *(not the best I could get, I know)*, which serve an entry to the new round of the @comedyopenmic contest - [Comedy Open Mic Comedy Contest - Round 29](https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@comedyopenmic/comedy-open-mic-comedy-contest-round-29) !!

I shall be nominating @mariossap and @mathowl to join in the **p**un... ehm, **f**un! Guys? Are you in?

![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmUsDx6pen1XAB66xGNezuiZ9RYoXEv9U98MqHzTxFV1dE/15.png)
## Thank you so much for your time!
Until my next post,
Steem on and keep smiling, people!

![](https://steemitimages.com/0x0/https://steemitimages.com/DQmdW8FAbTKfaQ7UbsyYQEsFRbukwfU7ZBxNwhgwQigqT79/4.gif)
<center> ![ezgif.com-optimize (2).gif](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmdmCnVDMYaYMS5S8aW2DtYGhrzsfL37zptpCj4V6kxVQe) </center>
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vote details (99)
@agmoore · 
Oh, I love this.  You have the patience of a spider to catch this drama!  I didn't get the Riders on the Storm association (I can be very dim), but still loved the lyrics--perfect for the pictures. 

>In holes she sticks her nose
Like a hunter on her own
She's a queen without a throne

The photos are brilliant--close up of eyes and legs, and then the creeping back under cover to hunt another day.   I'm waiting to upvote because my power's down--then I'll post this comment.  Enthusiasm got the best of me, so I had to write my thoughts after reading.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@ruth-girl · 
Thank you for the encouraging feedback *(truth is I'm not very fond of all the shots here, but the spider was moving all the time and I couldn't get a clear shot easily - close-up filters are tricky on the focus function)*!

PS: Don't worry about upvoting, I appreciate it that you stopped by and gave it a read @agmoore! :D
👍  
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vote details (1)
@agmoore · 
I have to tell you, I don't know anything about photography, and very little about popular music.  But I read, read, read, and know when something is clever.  This was very clever.  
Can't believe that spider wouldn't stand still for you :)
👍  
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@amirtheawesome1 ·
$0.06
Spider on the hose 
Now I feel so froze 
Not 1, not 2, not 3 toes
Spider has 8 of those
I faint as the spider gets close
Now I'm one of the spider's hoes

Nice post, Ruth. Thanks for entering the comedy open mic. Nice photos. Finally someone admits that a picture isn't worth a thousand words and decided to write some ;)
👍  
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@ruth-girl · 
Ahahahahaha! I loved that poem! 

Thank you for the *thumbs-up*! 🤩
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@bankthecrypto ·
$0.11
cool spider great zoom in the photos
👍  , , , , ,
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vote details (6)
@ruth-girl · 
Thanks!
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@belemo · 
If you read "hose" as hoes, the poem is twice juicy
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@ruth-girl · 
Ahahahahaha! I did! And cried!🤣🤣
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@com-judge ·
$2.21
Hi ruth-girl, 
 
Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)

#### Judges:
- @profanereviews
- @belemo
- @amirtheawesome1
 
If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: [Click Here](https://discord.gg/rddw2Ny)
 
<center>[Click To Vote](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=comedyopenmic&approve=1) @ComedyOpenMic For Witness And Disrupt The Steem Blockchain With Laughter!<a href="https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=comedyopenmic&approve=1">
<img src="https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/448711994275659777/454625592675926026/image.jpg" alt="Support COM Banner" style="width:42px;height:42px;border:0;">
</a>
<sub>Thank you to @matytan for the great banner </sub></center>
👍  , , ,
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vote details (4)
@ruth-girl · 
Thanks a lot @com-judge! I'll be waiting for the "verdict" εναγωνίως...
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@doomsdaychassis · 
I loved it. I am always a sucker for anything music related. It is great to see you over in COM also.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@ruth-girl · 
Thanks! I love messing with lyrics ever since I was a kid in primary school.
Too bad you don't know Greek... you'd enjoy my dirty lyrics on popular Greek songs.
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@doomsdaychassis · 
Maybe I will have to teach myself greek. I really want to learn another language.  I was going to try Spanish since a lot of people speak Spanish anymore.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@funnel · 
> in holes she sticks her nose

ελα ρε ruthie....γραφει και ο αλλος αντι για Hose να το διαβασουμε hoes.... ε το καναμε ακαταλληλο για ανηλικους το θεμα!!!
...καλουτσικες οι φωτο!!!
👍  
properties (23)
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vote details (1)
@ruth-girl ·
$0.09
Αααα, δε φταιω εγω για τα βρωμιακ μυαλα του steemit, μια πλακα πηγα να κανω...

Δεν μου πολυαρεσαν να σου πω, ηταν μολις ειχα πρωτοπαρει τα close-up φιλτρα, οποτε παλευα να τα μαθω, κουνιοταν κι η αραχνη συνεχως, δεν μπορουσα να σταυρωσω μια καλη ποζα! Ανεβαζω κ αντιγραφο της εικονας σε χαμηλη ποιοτητα, για να μην τρωω πολλη ωρα στο ανεβασμα, οποτε μου κανει πολυ τσαπατσουλοδουλεια, αλλα ηθελα να μοιραστω την ολη συνθεση...
👍  
properties (23)
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vote details (1)
@hrissm · 
Funny thing I imagined that song when reading your lyrics before seeing you had put it
👍  
properties (23)
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vote details (1)
@ruth-girl · 
That's why I left the song for the end! I wanted people to see if they guessed right!
properties (22)
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@jcharles · 
That's a fuck no spider from the species, burn the house down and start over.
👍  
properties (23)
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vote details (1)
@ruth-girl · 
Oh, she's a big girl! Thank God we found her in the garden and not in the house... I'd have to move out! :P
👍  
properties (23)
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vote details (1)
@profanereviews · 
I knew the tune before I knew it was the tune you chose. Good job!
👍  
properties (23)
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vote details (1)
@ruth-girl · 
Oh thank you!
properties (22)
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@rouketas · 
Mia mera , kapoia apo tis araxnes montela sou , tha tsimpisei ton @trumpman kai meta tha mas to paizei spiderman...
👍  
properties (23)
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vote details (1)
@ruth-girl · 
Ωωωωωχ, τον φανταζομαι να απλωνει ιστους σε ολο το σπιτι προσπαθωντας να πιασει μπυρες απο το ψυγειο... Θα τις κοψω τις αραχνες, θα αρχισω να φωτογραφιζω μονο τοπια μου φαινεται!
properties (22)
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@rouketas · 
To xeirotero tha einai na perpataei sto tabani kai na anoigei tis mpures oso tha einai upsidedown ! xD
👍  
properties (23)
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vote details (1)
@steem-ua · 
#### Hi @ruth-girl!

Your post was upvoted by @steem-ua, new Steem dApp, using UserAuthority for algorithmic post curation! Your **UA** account score is currently 4.844 which ranks you at **#1192** across all Steem accounts. 
 Your rank has dropped 1 places in the last three days (Your UA has decreased by 0.000).

In our last Algorithmic Curation Round, consisting of 161 contributions, your post is ranked at **#21**.
##### Evaluation of your UA score:

* Some people are already following you, keep going!
* The readers appreciate your great work!
* You have already shown user engagement, try to improve it further.


**Feel free to join our [@steem-ua Discord server](https://discord.gg/KpBNYGz)**
👍  
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vote details (1)
@trumpman · 
sexy spider
👍  
properties (23)
authortrumpman
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vote details (1)
@belemo · 
spider likes hoes too much though
👍  ,
properties (23)
authorbelemo
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vote details (2)
@ruth-girl · 
Not sexier than you!
properties (22)
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