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Punday Monday! Win SBI! Join this easy contest with your original pun on this week's topic! This is the 60th week that we've held the contest! Comedy Open Mic Round #26 entry, too!!! by improv

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· @improv · (edited)
$1.99
Punday Monday! Win SBI! Join this easy contest with your original pun on this week's topic! This is the 60th week that we've held the contest! Comedy Open Mic Round #26 entry, too!!!
# Welcome to Punday Monday!
![puntender.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmWMgNVyXFxci85tcXX53XTs8eJQ7FtUgKfdeWnhptxzYJ/puntender.jpg)

If you’re new here, pull up a stool, order a pun-t, and get to know some of the regulars! I’m your puntender, @improv.
You can jump in any time, and if you aren’t sure how to make a pun, here’s a handy dandy guide: 
https://steemit.com/contest/@improv/puns-and-prizes-learn-to-pun-easy-fun-anybody-can-be-a-hit-at-parties

If you’re an oldtimer, welcome back! Get to know some of the whippersnappers, here, we have a craft brew for you, idiomatic with hints of philosophy. Kind of cliche, but very smooth. On the house: 
**(Be careful when mopping your brow. If you wear your heart on your sleeve, your face will turn read.)** 

And since you’re an oldtimer, you might be interested in the results of our first annual best pun contest:
https://steemit.com/contest/@freewritehouse/punday-monday-year-one-day-awards-ceremony

If you’re an any-timer, old or whipper, make sure you visit @freewritehouse! There you can meet fellow lovers of goofiness and find even more contests every week! We’re also now featured in the @steembasicincome contest round-up! Find more opportunities to win SBI there!

Hang on to your punderwear...

# There’s no business like show business, so let’s show you the business we’re dealing with today!
Here’s last week’s post, and all the puns that are eligible to win this week are in the comments!
https://steemit.com/contest/@improv/punday-monday-win-sbi-join-this-easy-contest-with-your-original-pun-on-this-week-s-topic-this-is-the-59th-week-that-we-ve-held








# Rookie of the Week!
Goes to @dollarsandsense! Glad you got here as quickly as you could. Hope you’ll stay for the long haul!

# Pocket Choice awards
Every Friday, I put up a post to solicit audience favorites! They can vote on their favorites by sending POCKET to whomever they want to win. This week’s post is here: 
https://steemit.com/pocket/@improv/pocket-friday-is-for-voting-on-your-favorite-pun-from-punday-monday-links-to-help-in-the-post


@tcpolymath won @paul.atreides’ heart AND POCKET! He wins! New member of the winner’s circle. As I’m sure you all remember, we’re coming up on the big annual POCKET Choice awards ceremony. Just 6 more opportunities to be inducted! So, go find the biggest pocket holders, and advocate for your pun to win! That post goes up on Fridays

If YOU want to learn about POCKET, so you can participate in voting for your favorites, go ahead and check out this link
https://steemit.com/pocket/@improv/pocket-friday-for-punday-monday-here-s-a-way-to-use-your-pocket-and-get-a-laugh
You can also check out more info by @biophil, the creator of POCKET, and he’ll teach you. Check out his posts! 

The folks in the POCKET Choice winner's circle are @tcpolymath, @miniature-tiger, @lilygolightly, @chrisroberts, @stinawog, @f3nix, @doctorcrypto, @heroic15397, @littlescribe, @diebitch, @acolucky, @ablaze, and @paul.atreides.

### and our grand prize...

## The prize for best pun
# Best pun of the entire week
# Winner of our weekly SBI share giveaway
# Best Overall Pun
# DRUMROLL, PLEASE

# .

# .
# .
@littlescribe for not only finding a bunch of puns, but also interacting punnily with others’ punny puns! It’s good to have you back.


This week, I especially want to praise you all for such a cornucopia of puns. I was thrilled to pieces to see all this fun and funny! If you haven’t checked out the pun conversations that have been written on that post, go now! It’s never past payout for a laugh attack. I’d name you all, but you’ll go there and see anyways. GOOD STUFF.

# And what prizes do they win, you ask?
Why, as usual, all the punsters got full strength upvotes on their submissions. (WORTH $0.02! So much value!)

Our category winners will each get to choose a post (of their own or someone else's) and I will give that post a fully powered upvote and a @tipu tip!

And the big, exciting prize of 1 SBI will go to @littlescribe!

![littlescribe.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmZGGSAxAcKMW911jVyKr8NREjqyJtDQmVAa6T71rTv1eZ/littlescribe.png)

# This week's pun topic is...
Allergy

I chose it because @stinawog just noticed that I got a red blotch on my face. Who knows why, but maybe I touched a cat and then my face, and, while I’m not very allergic, sometimes these things just happen. But also maybe I’m just filled with pestilence. Let’s pun about it!

As in,
You were allergic to fire? How did you escape it?
I knew what to do. There’s been a drill.

BADA-BING! You been punned. Because been a drill...Benadryl! There's Benadryl to solve the problem with an allergy, and there's been a drill to teach you how to escape a building on fire...

You get it. 
# Perfect,
I'm so good at puns....


If you've never punned before, it might seem like magic! You can do it, too! Learn how in [My Free How-To Guide on Punning!](https://steemit.com/contest/@improv/puns-and-prizes-learn-to-pun-easy-fun-anybody-can-be-a-hit-at-parties)

And who do I nominate to also participate in @comedyopenmic, you ask? Why none other than @eaglespirit and @haphazard-hstead!

@freedomshift offered to sponsor a minimum of 1 SBI award for contests that qualified for a #ccc post and I accept. He's promoting the #ccc: 
You can learn more about the Curation Circle Creed in this post : [The Honor Code - the Creed (Conditions and Limits Inside)](https://steemit.com/ccc/@freedomshift/guaranteed-daily-income-and-payout-for-newbies-2-0-in-ccc-and-follow-the-honor-code-the-creed-conditions-and-limits-inside) 

****

And, as long as I have your attention… well, this place is probably already saturated with people who have referral codes for various “free money” things, but here are mine!


Coinbase: Cryptocurrency investment- https://www.coinbase.com/join/5929c0788331aa072d9e347e
(Hot tip, I buy BTC on pro.coinbase.com, then send it to bittrex to trade for Steem and send steem to my wallet here. It’s the most efficient way with the fewest fees I’ve found. If you’ve found better, let me know.)
Robinhood: investment platform buying/selling stocks-  http://share.robinhood.com/brendaw92
Earn.com: small tasks for small rewards (need a business or .edu email) - http://earn.com/improv/referral/?a=qmk07e7tzua677hk
Mannabase: sign up for universal basic income distribution funded by cryptocurrency- https://www.mannabase.com/?ref=3984bea863
Swift: Yet another attempt at a UBI: https://www.swiftdemand.com/?referred_by=lochleinn
👍  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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@ablaze ·
$0.04
In a doctor's surgery in Paris....

Doctor: What is it Pierre? 

Pierre: I can only count to seven.

Doctor: Sounds like a *huit* allergy!
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@improv ·
$0.12
That's e *neuf*!
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@ablaze ·
Ha ha ha... Great to see lots of people here at Pun Monday... it'd be a tra*jeudi* if  it got to Thursday with no posts!
👍  ,
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@acolucky ·
$0.10
There were many fine contestants at the bee farming competition. It was an honor for me to be a judge. Here are your top three winners:

Mary scores a ten.
John scores a nine.
And I am giving Paul an eight (pollinate.)
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@ecoinstant ·
$0.04
You know its good when you need parenthesis!
👍  ,
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@improv ·
Ha!
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@bananamemos ·
LOVED the Handy Dandy Guide on How to Pun!
Hope to be back with a pun soon....
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@improv ·
$0.03
Yay! Looking forward to your pun!

Posted using [Partiko Android](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=io.partiko.android)
👍  ,
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@bananamemos ·
$0.02
Okay!  The first pun I've written since Miss Papadopoulis's 3rd grade class:

I overheard two women talking at a cafe:
"I can't be around the guys at work anymore. They make me sneeze."
"Oh?  Al or Jee?"
👍  , ,
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@ablaze ·
ha ha, took me a second!!
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@improv ·
Yea!
👍  
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@belemo ·
$0.05
I have a weird case of anaphylaxis that only shows up on pay day. Fuck my job.
👍  , , ,
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vote details (4)
@sharanaithal ·
Nah, you just look ugly.
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@coinsandchains ·
$0.05
I'm so glad I found this, but I'm allergic to puns...  I break out in laughter.
I may have to increase my daily dose of political pundits to counteract the breakout, but that usually makes my trigger finger itch.  That's one of the side effects of being a redneck, everything makes your trigger finger itch.  Of course, a good dose of pun-o-mine usually takes care of that. 

Now I just have to scratch my itch for a puntastic allergy pun to enter with.
👍  , , ,
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vote details (4)
@improv ·
.. you'll find something. :-())))

Posted using [Partiko Android](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=io.partiko.android)
👍  
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vote details (1)
@richatvns ·
![funny.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmTpEFfnAtYpPK4a6j7nVTnrbRrzMTqtG2zRHWhkEfo941/funny.jpg)
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@com-judge ·
Hi improv, 
 
Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating, this will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied.
#### Judges:
- @sharanaithal
- @amirtheawesome1
- @holybranches
 
If you have any questions or quieries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: [Click Here](https://discord.gg/rddw2Ny)
 
<center>[Click To Vote](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=comedyopenmic&approve=1) @ComedyOpenMic For Witness And Disrupt The Steem Blockchain With Laughter!<a href="https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=comedyopenmic&approve=1">
<img src="https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/448711994275659777/454625592675926026/image.jpg" alt="Support COM Banner" style="width:42px;height:42px;border:0;">
</a>
<sub>Thank you to @matytan for the great banner </sub></center>
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@improv ·
$0.14
Will you find it helpful or obnoxious if I point out a typo in your automated responding machine?...

"If you have any questions or quieries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi..."

quieries should be queries
👍  , ,
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vote details (3)
@sharanaithal ·
Thanks for the input. I'll query it on to the higher-ups.
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@dollarsandsense ·
$0.11
Dating someone with celiac disease is great! You never have to buy them flours.
👍  , , , ,
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vote details (5)
@improv ·
HAAAAAAAAAAA GLAD YOU're BACK!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@dollarsandsense ·
Glad I found this! Thanks for the shout-out! This is a really pun contest.
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@freedomshift · (edited)
1 SBI (minimum) co-sponsorship is Confirmed and listed in [Open #ccc contests](https://steemit.com/ccc/@freedomshift/current-open-contests-in-ccc-and-my-offer-to-sponsor-your-contest-to-win-sbd-or-sbi-shares-3). Winner is of your choice.
----

If you would please update your post from

> I believe that @freedomshift will also be sponsoring another SBI award? _**He can let me know in the comments_**. He's promoting the #ccc: 

to:
> @freedomshift offered to sponsor a minimum of 1 SBI award for contests that qualified for a #ccc post and I accept.

My offer is confirmed as this contest meets the requirements of #ccc.

All the best!

**_In addition to the minimum offer of 1 SBI, if an entry is made into a #ccc qualified post, I'll sponsor additional SBI(s) winner for every 6 qualified entries (please see my posts about the list of #ccc contests._**|
---|
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@improv ·
Excellent! And your bonus SBI will go to whomever wins this week's pocket choice prize (the audience favorite award), so I'll mention it again Friday, when voting for that begins. Does this mean that you'll be a weekly sponsor for the foreseeable future, and I can include this in every week's post?

Posted using [Partiko Android](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=io.partiko.android)
👍  
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vote details (1)
@freedomshift ·
It helps if you comment on my post,  [Open #ccc contests](https://steemit.com/ccc/@freedomshift/current-open-contests-in-ccc-and-my-offer-to-sponsor-your-contest-to-win-sbd-or-sbi-shares-3), who the winner is when you have determined it.

> Does this mean that you'll be a weekly sponsor for the foreseeable future, and I can include this in every week's post?

Yes - and if there are any changes it will be updated on my weekly "Open Contest" post.
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@freedomshift ·
**_Please see updates of the [Current Open Contests](https://steemit.com/ccc/@freedomshift/current-open-contests-in-ccc-and-my-offer-to-sponsor-your-contest-to-win-sbd-or-sbi-shares-3) regarding winning and announcing winners._**|
---- |

I am confirming my co-sponsorship of this contest as stated.
--------

This contest is also listed in - https://steemit.com/ccc/@freedomshift/current-open-contests-in-ccc-and-my-offer-to-sponsor-your-contest-to-win-sbd-or-sbi-shares-3 <br>- a weekly post for all #ccc (sponsored or co-sponsored) contests.

Please notify me of new or proposed contests as well as winners on the **_latest_** [Open #ccc Contest](https://steemit.com/ccc/@freedomshift/current-open-contests-in-ccc-and-my-offer-to-sponsor-your-contest-to-win-sbd-or-sbi-shares-3) post.

Thank you! And, All the best!
---------
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@freedomshift ·
I upvoted this post at 50% to welcome you to #ccc as a new member.

All the best!
properties (22)
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@improv ·
I appreciate it!

Posted using [Partiko Android](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=io.partiko.android)
👍  
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vote details (1)
@littlescribe ·
$0.03
It was odd. Everywhere I went with Sally, she kept omitting certain parts of words. "Giraffe" became "iraffe". "Gander" became "ander". "Guns" became "uns", and so on. And then it occurred to me, Sally had left ALL HER G's at home.
👍  , , ,
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vote details (4)
@ablaze ·
Ha ha... that's genius! :o)
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@improv ·
$0.04
Enius

Posted using [Partiko Android](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=io.partiko.android)
👍  , ,
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@richatvns ·
![jerrylewis.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmUkw7siT2pUQQqAQxxfZQ4JRbQX4j2Z5b6shMD7pqMPBi/jerrylewis.jpg)
my mom was an english teacher, I've heard this one 50 years ago....  I stiill can't spell.
![jeeeezzz.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmdGmDFrR92FcuyDwnTXea3oRzUo7Ei6J8yKrkYzGERtvx/jeeeezzz.jpg)
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@paul.atreides ·
$0.03
I heard that if you are allergic to stinging insects you can still enjoy the outdoors but you just have to BEE careful.
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@paul.atreides ·
$0.05
Whenever I hear Gore talking about global warming and carbon taxes I always break out in a rash.  I must have an AL-lergy.
👍  , ,
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@paul.atreides ·
$0.05
It's only Tuesday and there has already been a rash of puns this week.
👍  , ,
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vote details (3)
@littlescribe ·
It's an epidemic, actually. The puns are running wild all over the place. They tried to quarantine the contagion, but to no avail. It's to the point where they're going to have to start calling in the allergy experts. But if their phones don't work, you could always just call 'o mine. I've got them on speed dial.
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@rentmoney · (edited)
$0.03
Dating someone with alergies is great .......

When you argue you can always buy them flowers as an " apology ".
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@improv · (edited)
Cruel! ;)
Not a pun, but upvoted for participating anyways! If you want a chance to win the big prize, though, you might want to check out the how-to link in the post.
Posted using [Partiko Android](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=io.partiko.android)
👍  
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@bananamemos · (edited)
The 'How-To' is a very worthwhile, informative and amusing read!  :-D
👍  
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@richatvns ·
$0.04
We had to stop sharing our Football Season Tickets with our friend Allan.
Every game he was showing up later and later making us all miss the kickoffs. It got worse and worse as the team made it's way to the playoffs...

At that time in the Season,  Hey the Fever of Al's Lethargy made us all feel bad!

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</center>
👍  ,
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@improv ·
Ha! How did you happen to find this old Post?

Posted using [Partiko Android](https://steemit.com/@partiko-android)
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@steeminati ·
lol rich... tell the truth it's the Jets and you really need to see the kickoffs because after that they are behind.
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@sharanaithal · (edited)
$0.03
*In Spain*
Tim: There's a bull behind you!
Bob: I'd know it if it was. You know I'm allergic to bullshit, Tim.

***Bob died that day.*** 

*The bull charged at him and then proceeded to shit on his face because he's a twat who didn't listen to his friend.*
👍  , ,
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vote details (3)
@improv ·
Comedy AND tragedy.
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@sharanaithal ·
And love. Tim and Bob were gay partners.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@steeminati ·
$0.04
You know I love comedy.
Most comedians are great...
But I really can't Stand Sasha Barret Cohen.
Particularly his Ali Gee makes me sick.

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👍  ,
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@improv ·
Glad you're enjoying this post from last year!

Posted using [Partiko Android](https://steemit.com/@partiko-android)
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@tcpolymath ·
$0.11
When I was in prison I met a man who was allergic to bee stings. He was terrified of bees, and would freak out whenever one came near him. So he was the only one who stayed in prison when the rest of us broke out in hives.
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@ablaze ·
$0.02
Ah lads, will ye beehive!!
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@ecoinstant ·
$0.13
Hive to bee careful in prison!
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@improv ·
Presumably partly because the prison had no bees, so he was safe there.
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@paul.atreides ·
$0.04
Sounds like a rash decision.
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@the-witty-waiter ·
$0.03
I'm allergic to fragrances .....if I smell you, I'm going to tell you
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