Did you forget deodorant?

You're too close.  I said two steps behind.

If you cook the way he walks, I'll eat the pot.
If you think, let's forget everything and go out tonight to take a walk till dawn

https://steemit.com/contest/@aiskelzurita/caption-contest-best-one-wins-5-sbd

Male : horny it's like am hearing a voice
Female : Ho! .... Am scared baby

"Your strut could use less waddle.  You've got to flaunt your paddles!"

penguin 1: Son, something fell on me
penguin 2: Sorry dad, it was a mistake

Is that seal musk I smell on your collar? You told me that affair was over!

And no mate, you are not alone in hanging out with cool creatures trying to figure out what they are saying. You just do it in much more interesting places, with more exotic animals, than I do in Canberra! I am jealous AF of your travels.

And for my second:-

Damn it Joe, I told you to iron that shirt, formal dress is ruined by crinkles!

Your fragrance drives me crazy!

https://steemit.com/contest/@annycor/caption-contest-best-one-wins-5-sbd

Your fragrance drives me crazy!

How I wish I could be as white as the cloud
The other penguin repilies.  Oh, don't be ironical, because all I could see now is your white bare chest.

Penguin 1 :What does our features really makes us,  amputee???

Now staring up I feel like I could stretch to the reach of that bird and pluck him out of the sky for lunch 

Penguin 2 : Well,  I like being practical. Infact I need to go fetch some food

<center>https://i.imgur.com/Rt2rINF.png
Your contest was added to [Steemit Contest Compilation (19.02-25.02): Win free SBD and STEEM](https://steemit.com/contest/@artz/steemit-contest-compilation-19-02-25-02-win-sbd-steem-upvotes-and-other-prizes) 
Thank you @thomasjmitchell for giving Steemians a chance to win some SBD.</center>

TWO PENGUINS Not in Love 🤣
Jo : Lucy  , that nemo is flying again , trying to show off his slim body ,  don't look now ! He wants to show off 😡
Lucy : WHAT!!! WHERE!!! Ooo look at those Abs 😈😈
Jo : Ai ai 😞😨
Lucy : WHAT! Why are you so angry ?! 
Jo : Well , I wanted to tell you this for a very long time , I....I ..I am in love with you 😍
Lucy : ooo , Sorry Jo , I love you like a friend , but you know how I am into guys with abs...hmm..I'm so sorry

Male (whispering in the ear of female): hey girl, are you available on Saturday night for a dinner.
Female(keeping her chin high proudly): huh! Alright, but not more than a dinner. 
Male: your wish is my command dear :)

Female friend to another: hey honey, look at your feet, you need a pedicure. Lets go to parlour. 
Second female: oh come on silly, forget those feet. Look at those handsome hunks coming up from mountain. ;)

Male: baby you are the egg in my egg roll without you am just a bonse
Female: oohh... sweet Jesus! Hope you heard that? Love in Tokyo!.

https://s17.postimg.org/t8pg8sfy7/Zombo_Meme_22022018034030.jpg

Penguin on the right of the image: Hey, Trump got elected as our President.

Left penguin : I'm gonna find a new country for myself.

https://s17.postimg.org/4w13uhsdr/Zombo_Meme_22022018115313.jpg
Right penguin :Sir, No one in the clan realized you were the one who actually farted

Left penguin :Ha! That's confidence My boy.

"shit hun!!, when exactly would you grow b**bs?"
**_stretches_**
"shut up, what the fuck do you think is that black patch? am trying".

"IS THAT ANOTHER FEMALES REGURGITATED FISH ON YOUR NECK! I KNEW YOU WERE SWIMMING WITH OTHER FEMALES. IF I COULD FLY AWAY WITH OUR BABY I WOULD YOU DIRTY BIRD! YOUR WINGTIP SMELLS LIKE FISH TOO!"

"Don't make it obvious, but look.... a no-coiner"

"Where's that blue-footed booby that touched my man!!"

Screaming to the heavens-P1-“I coulda been a contenda,  coulda been somebody, instead of a bum...”
P2-“Bruh you got toilet paper on your ass...”

Male: Waddle I do without you 
Female: Look up or I'll flip you over

Male penguin : What your hiding in there woman?
Female penguin: What!! hiding what in where?

Penguin 1 :I think we both make a perfect couple

Penguin 2 : Yeah especially when we are in the open away from the group

Penguin 1:The sun is out,  I feel like basking in the euphoria of the sun all day. 

Penguin 2: Hmmmm,  I guess it's gonna be a dull day as well with no fun

2nd: Did you activate with the contests in steemit?
1rst: Jajajajajaja  Check my purse!!!!

penguin1: u & ur girl are in the coffee house playing mancala & this dude invites her to his igloo. what do u do?
penguin2: i got this

penguin 1: you looking fabulous today
penguin 2: thanks  *walks confidently*

Dude, the wedding's cancelled, she ran off with an Emperor.

Assumming the male and female are just neighbours.
Female: who discovered America
Male: No idea
Female: you need to pay more attention to reading books.
Male: Can i ask you a question
Female: ok
Male: Do you know Sussan?
Female: no
Male: You need to pay more attention to your husband.
Hint: the husband of the neighbor sees sussan behind the wife's back
( just trying to make it funny)

Male :baby I love your boos I feel like holding them.
Female : dear you are making me feel shy .Humm am blushing

Looks like one penguin is gossiping in the ear of other

"Is that a leftover sardine, or are you just happy to see me?"

when your copying assigment from your classmate and your teacher suddenly stand behind you.
penguin at the right: what are you doing  mr jones.
penguin at the left: Nothing teacher brown. * Acts like nothing happens *

Lean on me-literally

Penguin1: Walk to the left, then walk to the right then pose. Chin Up!
Penguin2:*Pose*

So cute, nice picture, thank you for sharing.

My love if as well as you walk kitchen

*Sucks in gut, chest out*
"Hey babe, have you seen the gym?"

Hellow @ Thomas Mitchell! Here is my entry.
"<i>I have so much fun with you today. Goodbye, my friend!</i>"
"<b>Don't say goodbye when you know you will come back, someday. Take care. Happy trip to Antarctica.</b>"

Penguin: Friend Mitchell is in Antarctica, what if we surprise him and go there?
Penguin II: let's surprise him!


https://steemit.com/contest/@irisalfonzo1/caption-contest-best-one-wins-5-sbd

Hello handsome!  go out today??

https://steemit.com/contest/@irisalfonzo1/5k7jjn-caption-contest-best-one-wins-5-sbd

female: Oh! Honey i think am feeling sick
Male: Dear, you should get some rest.

Yo jimmy don't look, but that penguin is the one I met at the club last night.

Male : Just relax my dear. Everything is under my control!

Hi @thomasjmitchell this is very fun :

![Sin títuloDSD.png](https://steemitimages.com/DQmbKhPQLjadrYabfBddYdZ2yBqVmwt6q9Tk74unfzp96E7/Sin%20t%C3%ADtuloDSD.png)

Beautiful post.

Penguin 1: The flight to Antarctica leaves in an hour, will you come with me?

Penguin 2: Of course, wait for me, I'll pack my bags.

https://steemit.com/contest/@lauraac/caption-contest-best-one-wins-5-sbd

Penguin 1: My cute little penguin, marry me and let's live here together!

Penguin 2: Yes, but when would we move to the North Pole?


https://steemit.com/contest/@lauraac/3pgeuj-caption-contest-best-one-wins-5-sbd

In my imagin these two penguins talkindg about dmania like this.

First penguin :- Oh,i los my spd to promote my post in dmania on getting vote.

Second one :- OMG!! But i get upvote from dmania luckly.

the manicurist missed a bit!

hi see my entries below 

![communication 1.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmNbwQrVVJc69EA3NfNpDj7eHdPH4ZP3JQDEcgYRUoRNWT/communication%201.jpg)![communication 2.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmQ8Br8ZYigmm5XYqNa5aPX48urTX1iHD2gQbah9QP4Dba/communication%202.jpg)

Female: 
- Daughter, straighten your back you look like quasimodo
- Yes mom
Male: 
- Police: Are you sure you are not drunk?
- Drunk: Of course not officer!
- Police:  Well, can you please walk the line with open arms?

Female: Did you poo?
Male: No, I didn't.
Female: Then, why does it smell like a poo?
Male: That's my fart, idiot!

lucevic very close to his ear says: hey thomas pull out the chest, that comes the girl of your dreams ...