Hello Hive! Today, I’m going to walk you through the shittiest week of my life. I believe, sometimes hearing, seeing worse stories/ situations than yourself is something that gives you encouragement, kind of strength, maybe the joy of life... The theme of **“Drama"** is the most used type amongst all the fictions; theaters, books, movies... We, somehow, love watching, reading dramatic events; seeing how life can be hard sometimes gives us satisfaction, fulfillment, a sense of well-being. Who knows, after all, maybe we are not so much more than little creatures who like to be sad time to time. So this is my justification for the incident I’m about to tell; or this justification might be the disguise for just letting it all out of my system. Some of the incidents are more of tragicomic incidents, rather than tragedic. This was roughly 2 years ago. All the incidents are on this page are %100 based on true stories and will be telling as little exaggerated as possible. **<center> SUNDAY</center>** I had a relationship on the swing at that time. I had someone whom I expressed my feelings to and got a mutual response. She was beautiful, smart and funny. We got along really well; I could see a future with her. But somehow, something was not right. I realized when I started to see her as a girlfriend and act like it; something got off the rail. And never get back again. I was going to meet with her that night and settle it once and for all; the classic ultimatum move. I’ve received a call from a friend a couple hours earlier. He asked if I can take an exam –which I shouldn’t mention the name because it’s a kind of high profile exam- for someone else; with a high pay return! I asked him about the process, which he responded as “Even I did it, it’s not too much trouble, and you can do it easily.” He told me that there will be a fake ID; I will take the ID and take the exam; that’s it! Just 5 hours of work. I wasn’t sure at first. This was a serious, proper crime after all; getting a fake ID and everything... I asked him what happens if I fail, he said I’m going to have to take the exam again if I fail, but he was pretty confident about me passing the exam... I told him that I was going to think about it and got back to him. After a short while, I somehow convinced myself to focus on the money and called him to say I’m in! Then I met with my girlfriendish. I will not mention the details, because I don’t think details are important or necessary here. I gave her the ultimatum and got refused. I was devastated. I always had this image about things will get back on track at some point, and it got hammered! I was shocked. Felt like I hit rock bottom... I couldn’t even remember the last time I was this sad. Now it seems like a long past and not so significant, but at the time, it fucking hurt! I got back home, I drank hard, mixed some drinks, and only had a few hours of sleep before I went to work. **<center> MONDAY</center>** ![IMG-4268.JPG](https://images.hive.blog/DQmWpk1Dbk5LQWxrxoiPxgYAg6E99JbsawxeLYHLg5y7HRx/IMG-4268.JPG) I was working in a Private School at that time, and I hated it! I was a sports teacher; Nature Activities Teacher, specifically. Nature Activities Class was a curriculum of natural activities such as Camping, Trekking, Hiking, Climbing, Orienteering, Scouting... I am a climber; so when the school reached me with an offer for such a teaching position, I told them that I’m only a climber, I only can teach climbing and not so much for other activities. They said it’s okay, they also had a climbing wall. So without leaving my first job, as a climbing coach, I started to work there as a teacher, as a second job. I guess at this point, it’s fair to say I love convincing myself to focus on the money. I believe it was my third week when I realized I’ve made a **HUGE** mistake. This was not an easy job you can do as a second job. This was not a job you can do without planning, without putting some serious effort into it. I was not told so, but the parents and students had some different expectations than just climbing as well. The school was far; the transportation was taking two-two and a half hour in a day and the buses that were supposed to take you to the school were in every 3 hours! So I had to hitchhike a certain way to turn back from school, every Wednesday! I hitchhiked before when I was traveling, so I actually like to hitchhike from time to time but had to be hitchhiking every week, come on... I had a low salary as well. I had many reasons to hate the school, but it was mainly everything about school was so shitty. The hardest part was seeing how some of the teachers were dumb, I believe. When you sit with them in a teacher’s room and you hear how racist, sexist, bigoted, hypocrite some of them are... It hurts to know our future generation’s guidance. The ones who were supposed to enlighten the kids were the ones who need to be enlightened. It was sad. So that Monday, I was doing my second lesson about “How to belay a climber”; how to hold a climbers rope and make sure he/she is not falling, which is not an easy thing and a huge responsibility, so I was only practicing it with the children who are older than thirteen. I was depressed as fuck, but I was still focusing on my job %100. Students were holding each other’s rope and I had to be extra careful. And I was... I was really good. Let’s say the lessons took 10.800 seconds; I was really focused on 10.794 seconds of them. And 6 seconds is a quite acceptable margin of error, Right?.. But in those 6 seconds: a student was belaying another student. I was standing right next to her, as I was watching her, how she does, I was holding the rope with her on the other hand. I saw that she was doing fine; she also had belayed like this before, so I thought she was alright. I let go of the rope, I straightened my back, I looked to the other side of the saloon, and I reached back to hold the rope again, that was it, 6 seconds max! I heard the fall as I reached back! I didn’t say where he had fallen from... But the kid was on the ground, laying and aching! I ran to the kid, asked him a few questions, saw that he was okay... The biggest distress for me was not knowing where the kid fell from. I talked with some kids, asked them where exactly he had fallen from; I got some mixed answers but I understood that it was three-three and a half meters. That was really good news compared to what could’ve been. He wasn’t hurt, he was just shocked...I tried to comfort him; which wasn’t easy or brief, but finally got him back up and took him to the school medical. He was alright, still pretty scared but no physical injuries. He went back to his next class. I was relieved, but still pretty upset about how I just traumatized a child... With the events of the day before, it was definitely one of the worst days of my life! And the school just went shitty to shittier... **<center> WEDNESDAY</center>** Compared to what I’ve been through on Sunday and Monday; I was pretty excited about Wednesday. It was my day off from both of my jobs and I had a massage appointment. The place they did massage was an association for the blind people. It was a project that helps the blind&disabled people to participate in the working life. So it was kind of a charity service as well; that made my massage better in my mind before I even had it. I went to the association building, thinking that this will be the first good thing that happens to me in the last 4 days. Probably it was the first time of my life that I needed a massage. I went to the front desk; told a blind man that I’m here for my appointment. He led me to a massage room. There was just a massage bed and a drawer in the room. I sat there and waited a few minutes. The masseuse came into the room, introduced himself. He said that I can remove my clothes and lay down now. I undressed, left my underwear on and laid down. Right after he started to massage he felt my underwear. And said he’s going to use oil during the massage, so I can take my underwear off if I want to, if I don’t want to get oil on my underwear. I wasn’t comfortable about being totally naked. It didn’t even occur to me to take off my underwear. I was about to say “No, thanks”, but then I took a second to think about it. First: I sincerely didn’t want to get oil on my underwear. Second: This was a time for me to relax. Being completely free from any part of clothes might have had a positive effect. Third: He was blind. He wasn’t going to see anything anyway (sorry). I said okay. He asked me a couple of personal questions at the begging. Then he asked me about my job. Then he asked if I had a girlfriend. Then he started talking about girls. He was talking about girls intensely. 5-10 minutes, he talked about the girls. I was trying to be polite and answering him, so it wouldn’t be a monologue, but he wasn’t going to shut up about it. So, I politely reduced my answers; until we both shut up. After a while, he finished the back massage and asked me to lay on my back. After a bittersweet start, it was all going good until when he was massaging my groin and suddenly touched my penis. I thought, “He just bumped it, it was not intentional”. Then he touched it again. I thought “How many times will he bump into it on this part of the massage?” Then he grabbed it. I reacted, got half up. He asked if I don’t want him to touch it. I said no. He said that he is sorry, and returned to his massage. He made some small talk to soften the tension, but the tension had never softened. The second part of the massage was probably the most awkward 10 minutes of my life. A part of me tried to forget the incident and relax and another part of me just wanted to leave there, as soon as possible. He finished and as I was dressing, he gave me his card, said that he also goes to houses, with an appointment. I thanked him and left there at a running pace. I smoked three cigarettes in 15 minutes, after a massage that was supposed to relax me. I was so tense that I didn’t know what to do. After the massage, I was probably at the most tense state of my life. I decided to workout. I needed to keep my mind busy with something else and on my way to the gym, my friend called. I said if it’s not important I will call him later, but he said it is important. It turns out, for some reason; I will take the exam in another city on Saturday. They were about to buy a plane ticket on my behalf. I argued, said this wasn’t the deal. He agreed but said there is nothing we can do. He was my good friend; I knew he would keep an eye on my interests, so I took his word: There was nothing we could do; until I pass the exam and break the dark clouds upon me… **<center> SATURDAY</center>** After I got broken up, traumatized a child and molested in 4 days, I went to both of my jobs on Thursday, I was still absolutely nervous about the incident. I travelled to another city on Friday, to take the exam and I never got the chance to study. On my way between airports, I have to admit that I somelike felt pretty badass. I was experiencing scenes that I thought would be only possible in movies. ![IMG-4324.JPG](https://images.hive.blog/DQmX9qqbsMP6BBKAgwjSsUsHRBBrbeumxCho69biJVPP52X/IMG-4324.JPG) *Me, at the airport* I called a friend of mine who lived in the city and asked him if I can stay at his place. I told him the whole exam thing, except the part that I was going to take it for someone else. I have already received extra money for the hotel; but I’d liked to keep it. I’ve arrived at my friend’s house, thinking that I might be able to study for a couple of hours. We drank until 02:00. I had to get up in 6 hours. There I thought, maybe I wasn’t paying enough attention to be succeeded; I was just waiting for stuff to happen. And it was the worst time to think about it. I shouldn’t be worried. I took another look at my fake ID. I was memorizing someone else’s identity information. The ID was too white. It was looking pretty new, so I laid it under the soil and got a bit yellowish color by the morning. I took both of my IDs, got a double espresso and went to the exam building. ![IMG-5094.JPG](https://images.hive.blog/DQmeYgWynFt5gvF6ZNrXeTQDmto83UiJi6F5tUdjx5txMxm/IMG-5094.JPG) *An uplifting landscape on my way :)* I was in a scary situation and it can only be resolved with my coolness. So I tried to play it casual. It was an acting job with consequences. So you’d have to be good. They’ve led me to an office. An official asked me a couple of questions about my identity. I didn’t make any huge mistakes, it was smooth. They’ve led me to an exam room. I sat down to a computer. It was the tensest 4 hours of my life. It was so tense that I forgot everything that happened to me within a week. The exam was hard. And it was constantly hard. There wasn’t any part that gave you a couple of easy questions; I got exhausted after two hours. I was almost having a breakdown. I stopped for a minute to calm myself. I was feeling that I was going to fail. I was going to fail hard. I talked myself into performing at my maximum, since there was no other choice. I must not fail. The second part of the exam went almost like the first part. I was devastated. I sincerely thought that I was going to fail. I called my friend and told him that it was shitty. He told me not to worry; he felt exactly the same after the exam but he passed. I insisted to him about how shitty it was and he still told me to relax. I was pissed that he was so calm. I was pretty stressed about it. I went back to my friend’s house to pack. I went to the airport and I was still pretty stressed about it. I went back home, two days have passed and I was still pretty stressed about it. Until my friends called to tell me that I’ve passed. It was the biggest relief of my life. I saved half of the money and shopped with the other half. I got a couple of presents for my friends. I was feeling pretty tired, after a dizzy week. I was still feeling tired after a couple of days. After a week, I was still feeling a bit tired and there I understood, a little bit of tiredness will always remain with me.