> I’m probably not old enough to speak on this yet, but this type of helplessness and shame is scary.

I have been a provider for over 10 years and it's so surprising since I'm just romancing 30+ so, I have enough experience to actually say this. In Africa, it's a shame if you lose your ability to provide and this isn't dependent on age or health or financial status. Provided you're alive, they want you to do. 
As for women. Most of them knows and are grateful, some others don't and jump from one man to another. It's probably everything with a man. Once you're male you're deemed the sacrificial lamb. A lot of us take it with pride and do it honorably, but in reality our Maleness to women and others in the society is the ability to provide, feminity agenda in the media may argue otherwise, but it's mostly, and arguably so.