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February by idlemind

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· @idlemind · (edited)
$3.75
February
This is my entry for nonfiction prompt #5: LETTER
**
![pexels-cottonbro-studio-3826670.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/idlemind/23tvZhmfhANDX4WBP2epNYmA2q6jWXJS6w2Ntbsq4A9foejWKe5YjGdhokYreEFnuHECs.jpg)
[Image](https://www.pexels.com/photo/person-holding-white-printer-paper-3826670/)
**
**February 2004**

My fourteen-year-old heart fluttered as if a restless mouse was inside it, wanting to escape. My hands were icy and trembling as I slowly opened the piece of paper my classmate, PJ, handed me during our algebra class. 

“Jed wants you to have this,” he said, smiled, and went back to his seat beside Jed.

“*An empty street, an empty house, a hole inside my heart. I’m alone. The rooms are getting smaller… And oh, my love, I’m holding on forever, reaching for the love that seems so far. So, I’d say a little prayer and hope my dreams would take me there, where the skies are blue to see you once again…Julie Ann*.”

I gasped for air after reading what was written on the torn sheet of his notebook. My eyes were teary from shock, and I didn’t know how to react. I crumpled the sheet and shoved it in my skirt pocket before Merry, my seatmate and friend, could get the chance to read it.

Both Jed and PJ looked at me with a smile. Then, the latter walked to our seats for the second time and gave me another note. That time, Merry made sure to peek at the letter. She almost shrieked when she read:

“*Just married, Jed and Julie Ann. Forever.”

I panicked. I didn’t know what to do, so I did the same thing. Crumpled the letter.

“Why did you crumple it?” Merry asked, shocked at what I did.
“Are you not going to reply?”

“The class is ongoing. Let’s listen first.”

I tried to pay attention to the lecture, but my mind had a decision of its own—lose my focus. I could see Jed looking at me through my peripheral, and I could feel my cheeks burning.
He was my crush for two years! And I had kept my admiration for him during those years. Yet when he gave me the letter, my mind went blank and did the unexpected. I didn’t know if he saw me scrunch his letter. I didn’t really know what to do then.
**

**February 2005.**

When we were in our third year, Jed and I were no longer classmates. I still kept his letter, and even though he confessed, we hadn’t had a relationship because I was the one who avoided him. I liked him a lot, but I needed to prioritize my studies.

For months of not being classmates, he had seemed to forget about me—and it hurt—because his friends, who were still my classmates, were already teasing Jed to someone else. Hearing them say the name of the girl to Jed tore my heart to pieces. I wanted to tell I liked him too, but I can’t because I didn’t have the courage to do so.

Until our Prom Night—the most painful part of my high school year—came.

My eyes wandered around the covered area where the program was held; I was looking for him, hoping that he would ask me to dance. But to my disappointment, I saw him dancing with the girl his friends were teasing him to.

Pain choked me. I gasped because I couldn’t breathe. My tears were about to flow when I decided to step out of the venue and went home, suppressing the tears and the poignant emotion ripping my heart apart. It literally felt like I was being stabbed in the heart multiple times.

When I got home, I took the letter he gave me and burnt it, wishing that as the paper turned to ashes, so as my feelings for him. 

👍  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , and 376 others
👎  , , ,
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vote details (444)
@cool08 ·
It happened this way where things have to turn out to be bad after loosing the one who you seems to love to someone. 

Although, it was just a dance and love may not be in between them...
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@idlemind ·
I was able to move on from that painful experience, but I'm still thinking about the 'what ifs'
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@hivebuzz ·
Congratulations @idlemind! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain And have been rewarded with New badge(s)

<table><tr><td><img src="https://images.hive.blog/60x70/http://hivebuzz.me/@idlemind/upvoted.png?202211281606"></td><td>You received more than 10000 upvotes.<br>Your next target is to reach 15000 upvotes.</td></tr>
</table>

<sub>_You can view your badges on [your board](https://hivebuzz.me/@idlemind) and compare yourself to others in the [Ranking](https://hivebuzz.me/ranking)_</sub>
<sub>_If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word_ `STOP`</sub>



**Check out the last post from @hivebuzz:**
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@itsostylish ·
That’s must’ve been so heartbreaking for you! Especially that that’s the only memory you have of your prom. The only thing I can say is that you were very young and I’m sure you’ve recovered from the pain. Hugs 🤗🤗🤗
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@idlemind ·
Yes, I did. 😊 Although I must admit that I miss the feeling of having a crush again.
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@jayna ·
Ah, the teenage years! I remember them. The sweetness of a look or a note... the first feeling of love toward a boy or girl. The pheromones! This is really charming, @idlemind.
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@idlemind ·
Thank you 😊, and I really appreciate your help with the problem I encountered in this post. Thank you to the whole team! 😘
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@stellageorge ·
Oh my, what a tragic experience. Sigh, it must have felt as if Jed toyed with your feelings the whole time. I do understand why you felt so shy to confess your feelings for him, carrying those feelings inside you every day. 
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@idlemind ·
The idea of being toyed with was really painful, but I guess things were meant to happen that way. 
👍  
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vote details (1)
@theinkwell ·
This is truly beautiful, @idlemind. Your writing is always an inspiration. And we have 100% confidence that this is your original writing.

Note to @spaminator regarding the downvote: This story quotes a real-life letter this author received, which contains three lines of a song from [this source](https://genius.com/Westlife-my-love-lyrics). (She likely was not even aware they were lyrics as the letter writer simply wrote them in the letter.) If that is the reason for the downvote, please consider removing it. We do not see this as any sort of plagiarism infraction. Thank you!
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@idlemind ·
Thank you so much! I was really disheartened when I saw that there was a downvote. If I have known that including the content of the letter would cause confusion, I shouldn't have inserted it.

I'll be mindful next time.
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