| json_metadata | "{"app":"Musing","appTags":["happiness"],"appCategory":"happiness","appTitle":"Does unhappiness arise from our interior or from the environment? Why?","appBody":"<p><br></p>\n<p><img src=\"http://images.agoramedia.com/EHBlogImages/therese-borchard/2016/10/dont-worry-be-happy-1440x810.jpg\" /></p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p>I will answer you using reverse psychology: I will not talk about unhappiness, but about happiness.</p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p>Happiness is not about achieving a goal: it is an attitude with which you face everything, be it good, bad or regular; you have or do not have a certain thing; get or not get a goal. You decide to be happy or not.</p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p>In this way, unhappiness arises because we believe that achieving things or objectives (material or immaterial) will make us feel better, when the opposite is true. If we fix (or center) our happiness on goals, whenever we get one, another one will appear, and in that way we will always be pursuing what we do not have and we will always lack something. Like the donkey they put the carrot in front of him to run, and he never catches it ...</p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p>This question can be compared with a very simple analogy:</p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p><img src=\"http://img12.deviantart.net/f576/i/2013/188/8/d/unhappiness_by_eranpoliti-d6cdf4z.jpg\" /></p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p>Can you blame someone who is not you for having fattened after eating nothing but fast food (fried), during the last 3 months? No, right? Unless, of course, you have not had another option (but there are always options, the problem is finding them).</p>\n<p>It's the same with emotions. The only people responsible for our emotions are us. :)</p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p>However, IF there are things that influence:</p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p>Variables (situations) in our life over which we have no choice, or have no control. For example, the schedule that they impose on us in our office, or in the university that prevents us from carrying out other activities that are more exciting or interesting for us.</p>\n<p>The surrender before we begin. That is, to believe that we can not or do not have the right to live on what we want to live and that we need to maintain a \"normal\" job because it is the only option we have for life. When there are really many ways to live, but it is easier to get carried away by fear and not see the options.</p>\n<p>High expectations imposed (or self-imposed). These cause frustration, not being able (or feeling that we are not able) to meet these, because they are so high that for anyone (even a super-hero), they would be difficult to achieve.</p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p><img src=\"https://gottadotherightthing.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Overthinking-Is-One-Of-The-Biggest-Causes-Of-Unhappiness-Here-Are-4-Ways-To-Stop-Doing-It.jpg\" /></p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p>The comparison with others. When we see that others have something that we want for our life, we compare ourselves and place ourselves in the position of: \"That is impossible for me\". Therefore, it gives us envy, we feel bad, unhappy, frustrated. We do not see everything that the other person has had to fight to achieve what he has achieved.</p>\n<p>Not expressing our emotions / thoughts. In several environments of our lives, they often prevent us from expressing ourselves emotionally. In these cases, we usually give the answer \"socially accepted\", instead of expressing what we need, want, think. That also causes frustration, therefore, unhappiness.</p>\n<p>To forget, or leave aside our dreams, what we want for our life (even if we decide that we are not going to live to do that). That is to say, we forget our passions, we continually choose what does not suit us. We change what we are passionate about that which gives us money. It is true that money is important (we live in a capitalist society, we need money to live, to maintain ourselves, etc.), but it is not vital. Money does not nourish our soul, our spirit, what feeds it is to follow our dreams (albeit in the form of hobbies).</p>\n<p>Putting us last. We postpone thinking that it is our obligation to do what we have been told all our life that is \"right\". With that we do not get more than fill us with resentments, frustrations and unhappiness.</p>\n<p>It is what has occurred to me. I hope it helps you!</p>","appDepth":2,"appParentPermlink":"p3erp29d5","appParentAuthor":"fabioladiaz","musingAppId":"aU2p3C3a8N","musingAppVersion":"1.1","musingPostType":"answer"}" |
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