| json_metadata | "{"app":"Musing","appTags":["relationship","life",""],"appCategory":"relationship","appTitle":"Why are people really hung up on age? Is it really a deciding factor in a relationship?","appBody":"<p>I think people are hung up on age for a lot of reasons and I've had my own personal experiences with age related relationship problems and I'll try and list them out as best as I can. It should be noted that the problem of age is actually something that both men and women have, but I'd say its more pronounced in women than men</p><p>1. The time factor: Well this is one is mostly for women, the thing is that most guys who are young aren't really planning on settling down and getting married at least until they're close to 30 so when women come across guys who are younger than them and are in the age bracket of 22-26, they tend not to be interested because they're looking for something permanent and guys of that age are often looking for fun. A woman's biological clock is always ticking away, or at least that's what were made to believe and the more time she wastes with men who aren't ready to settle down, the more time she loses.</p><p>2. Fear of abandonment: This one is something that's feared by both men and women. Men that date older women, especially women that are just a little bit older than them will always be afraid that she'll leave them for someone older. The thing is that when you're young and struggling to make it financially, you don't actually show any marriage prospects for girls and that's what most of them are looking for, relationships that can lead to marriage quickly.</p><p>I've only dated one person that was younger than me and everyone else was older. Maybe it's a Nigerian thing, but girls who date their age mates or guys that are younger than them almost always have another older guy by the side who they will probably abandon you for when the time comes. I had a friend who had a girlfriend that was his age; he loved her and did everything to please her and I'm sure she loved him back. So I'm scrolling through my WhatsApp status and I see a picture of her with a ring on and I'm overjoyed for my friend because it seemed like he'd popped the question. It was later on that I found out that she'd said yes to someone else because she was afraid that my friend wouldn't propose any time soon.</p><p>On this matter, as far as women go, dating a younger man can be tricky because like I said most guys just want to have fun when they're young and if you start getting a little too old then they could just trade you in for a younger girl so instead of risking abandonment, they'll just end the whole relationship regardless of how much they love their partner.</p><p>3. Societal approval/disapproval: There's basically an unspoken law that states that men should always be older in a relationship and when it's the other way around, the society frowns at it sometimes. I kid you not, if you carry a girl that's older than you, especially one that's distinctively older than you to present to your parents as the person you want to be with them it will be met with firm opposition, well at least in an African home. Older generations aren't open minded like we are and they can't fathom the thought of their sons marrying older women. They'll probably say things along the lines of \"Why didn't she get married since\" or \"There must be something wrong with her and that's why no one refused to marry her up till now\", the idea will probably be turned down by alot of parents.</p><p>Society doesn't take too kindly to girls who date older men as well. A woman who's 25 but dating a man who's much older than she is will probably be seen as a gold digger. It doesn't matter whether both parties genuinely love each other, society doesn't care, it simply won't approve of it. </p><p>In my opinion age is just a number, but because of the second reason why I feel people make age a deciding factor in their relationships, I've resigned myself to only dating women that are younger than me.</p><p>I hope this helps.</p>","appDepth":2,"appParentPermlink":"pkustdhl5","appParentAuthor":"winarobert","musingAppId":"aU2p3C3a8N","musingAppVersion":"1.1","musingPostType":"answer"}" |
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