Originally answered: How can I become better at reading body language?

Do you remember how you started reading books as a child? Learning how to use the letters of the alphabet and struggling to sound out new words made it tricky. Initially, it takes a considerable amount of effort to run your eyes over the narrative smoothly and enjoy the storyline.

However, over time and with practice, reading skills improved substantially and the joy of getting lost in an adventure became easier and required less work.

Learning how to become better at reading body language is similar. Gestures are like words that make a nonverbal sentence; a collection of nonverbal sentences tell a story.

The #1 Mistake Body Language Readers MUST Avoid

One word (or gesture) does not tell a complete story.

There is a common urge to give absolute meaning to a single gesture. For example, if you were to ask me if I had enjoyed a meal and I touched my nose while answering, do not be tempted to jump to the conclusion that I am lying. It could be that I am trying to suppress a sneeze or maybe I have an itch.

How to Become Better At Reading Body Language

Being mindful of a person's body language helps raise our awareness and empathy.

People tend to communicate - nonverbally - their automatic thinking and how they feel about situational factors with their body language.

These are 3 questions to ask ourselves when assessing a person's nonverbal signals:

1. What are their gestures suggesting?

In order to make sense of a person's body language, we must see their gestures collectively. Observe at least 3 gestures within a cluster before trying to suss out any meaning.

2. Do the gestures match the verbal statements?

Being alert to incongruencies between the verbal and nonverbal message is key. Typically, our nonverbals act like support to our verbal statements. If they don't, we need to ask ourselves 'why?'.

3. Do the gestures fit the situation?

All behavior is subject to the context in which it is observed. The situational factors motivate our nonverbal statements like grammar to a verbal sentence. For example, crossed arms could mean someone feels defensive but it could also mean that person is cold.